But other regimens work as well as Gem/cis and cause much less side effects.
1.Xeloda( 5FU in oral form) provides patient compliance by the oral route;
2,Oxaliplatin is much less toxic than cisplatin;unlike cisplatin, oxaliplatin is not associated with significant renal(kidney) or auditory toxicity(tinnitus)  and hematological toxicity (blood cells) is usually mild .
3.Both platium agents will cause nausea and vomiting but usually it will be taking care by the pre-chemotherapy antinausea medications, such as Aloxi,Zofran and Decadron .
4. Both platium agents will elevate the hepatic enzymes and bilirubin and the same apply to both capecitabine and gemcitabine.

If the the tumor is "stable",and nothing else changes significantly, I guess your oncologist wants a consistent (5FU) level from you by asking you to take the Xyloda twice daily after meals.And he/she wants to start use one of the agent from the platium family-oxaliplatin to see whether the result will be better than gemcitabine.
It is a cautious decision and I like your oncologist. In short, every body can recommend the use  of GEM/Cis first,but I think your oncologist does more than just that. May I ask what is his/her name and where he/she works?
This is just my opinion, the rest is up to you. remember I am just a patient as your husband havine the same ICCA  and I am not a doctor.
God bless.