OKDOKEY lets get started, Terri. If it was my Mom at 81 and with the problems she has on top of the CC, honestly I would not put her through anymore, but that's me.
Someone really has to call the shots for her now and she will need tough love, you have to reverse the Parent child role. I want to say if you get a private home thru a reptuable agency they are terriffic. Every morning the gal that ran this home dressed all the ladies up, my Mom was like her little doll, she lived to be 94! She loved Kathy, the owner. I would double check by always asking her if Kathy was still her girlfriend and she would look so lovingly at Kathy! THAT WAS MY WAY OF CHECKING IT ALL OUT. When we had to put Mom from independent living to assisted at the Retirement place she was NOT taken care of. We were paying 4400.00 a month. The private home was 2,000 a month with 3 homemade meals a day and snacks. AND the Retirement home was rated the best in AZ. Just say'in from exprience. The private home will also order in Hospice when it is time. I just want to say that when Mom's time came, Kathy slept in her room for 3 NTS with her and fed her chipped ice. If extra expense is involved I hope your Sisters help. If Mom does not have the Dementia and pain under control many private places will not take her. So, I would make a decision either/or. Comfort is our bottom line and she definately needs to get comfortable. She is in no position to call the shots. Eiither Hospice or a Home. I know this is really hard, my goodness how do we boss our parents? But in the long run you will be doing her a favor. I would also talk to her ONC and tell him that she needs something for agitation and something more for pain. When I had Hospice come for my Teddy I had ordered a Hospital bed and set him up in the airy and bright living room. That is also where the big TV was! He was so happy there as were visitors and etc. I also had ordered a walker and a wheelchair. Perfect! So, I would start with the MEDS. Best wishes and be more kind to yourself!
1 Today 21:44:14
Re: Hello I'm new here! (4 replies, posted in Introductions!)
2 Today 20:44:55
Re: Hello I'm new here! (4 replies, posted in Introductions!)
TWolf, welcome to our remarkable family, what a sad ordeal, as if you don't have enough to contend with CC alone! I don't see how your Mom could be alone especially with Dementia. Could you find a private care home for her? My Mom was in a retirement home but then we found a private home with 2 other little ladies with Dementia. The care she got was extroadinary! And less then 1/2 the price of a Retirement home. Your Mom may also need a MED for agitation. Has the ONC talked about calling in Hospice. You can start with them way out as Mom needs to be made comfortable, she is fighting too many things.
What was her diagnosis and prognosis? Where is her CC? What age is she? Sorry for all the questions but we need to know a few things in order to better advise. Is the tumor in the back from CC? Is she on pain Meds. Lastly where is she being treated. What is Chemo going to do for her?
For the children, I would explain that Gran Mom is sick and part of the sickness is that she cannot help getting angry but that she is not angry at them.
As for your Sisters it is time for a "sit down" and be strong. Let them know you cannot handle all this with a job and 2 kids. Ask them point blank what they are going to do to help. Become the BOSS! I am sure you will get more advice here, we love to give advise! Please let us know how things are going as you move along. You have come to the best place to be.
3 Today 20:03:50
Re: To Teddy, Just Because (2 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)
Oh, thank you Percy. Tell your wife not to worry about me, but I LUV you more and more! Have a little fun at WDW!!!
4 Today 19:30:10
Topic: To Teddy, Just Because (2 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)
I am thinking about my Teddy Bear today. I thought why do I have to wait for a Birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, Anniversary to show how I feel and miss Teddy. So, my charming Prince here is one, just because! I am missing you very much today:
My relationship is not over with you because you are no longer here with me physically. My connection to you can never be severed. You are imprinted on my heart and woven through my soul. I will continue to talk to you, write to you, and kiss your picture. Your love is a vibrant part of me. My promise to you is to never let go of you, I will always stay connected, I will always feel your love in me, I know you have my back as I continue to live and grow. I will always Love you.
5 Today 14:44:12
Re: Meet us in Orlando (1 replies, posted in Announcements)
Oh, I would LOVE to meet you, Barbara (Minnie) and Percy (Mickey) perhaps if one day you are in PHX again. Have a great session and a little fun in the evening. I sure hope you get to meet some members, I know we have a few in FLorida but not sure if they are near Orlando. Safe travel!
6 Today 14:39:21
Re: Someone Explain Please (8 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)
Hi Vitamin Ceers, My daughter's ex BF has Lymphoma and he went to a naturalpathic person and had IV's of Vitamin C for a year among other things like going totally Organic to the tune of $50K. He was in remission when he went to her and about 1 1/2 years later the Lymphoma returned. My thought is, if it is too good to be true it probably is not. Wouldn't everyone be cured of Cancer if it was so simple? How I wish it was true. Nothing has ever been proven about Supplements. But if it makes a patient feel good about it, by6 all means the choice is yours as long as you consult with your ONC.
7 Today 13:36:46
Re: First Chemo Cycle Complete (4 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Dear LeeDay44, much luck to you as you start your 2nd Chemo session. I believe its good to have the port, it will become your best friend. That is wonderful to have a Daughter who is a Nurse as I am sure she will be very helpful to you. Please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.
8 Today 13:31:09
Re: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Willow, Pam just posted here. What an amazing woman she is.
9 Today 13:29:17
Re: Update on Lauren (14 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Pam, you are an amazing and awesome Mother and person! I like to think I am strong but not so sure I could handle what you have just been through. Just know I am with you in spirit and sending more prayers and tons of love.
10 Today 12:38:21
Re: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Hi FAMILY, just wanted to clarify that I got any information I have on Lauren from Pam's Blog. You might want to check it out yourself to see if there are any updates.
11 Today 11:44:25
Re: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Willow, LOL...but to clean before I leave town for 2 weeks? Teddy used to say I would Windex the rocks outside or for my Birthday he was going to buy me a 50 gallon drum of windex! Thank goodness he was cery clean too, or we would have never made it! I have a feeling we may hear from Pam later today, I know she is not going to let go of Lauren until she is ready. Take care!
12 Today 11:04:19
Re: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Susie, some days I feel like everyone's mom but its a good feeling. I do have a daughter (51) who calls me EVERY morning. I boss all of you way more than her. I only give her advise if she asks and if I don't like something, I don't say a thing to her because at 73 I am not going to loose my daughter, well actually at any age. I LOVE being on this site. It saved me when I was Teddy's Caretaker and it actually saves me now. I have the biggest family in the world! Who else listens to me like all of you! My dream has always been a Convention where we could all meet. You are very kind and I am not one to accept compliments easily. But I thank you.
13 Today 10:02:54
Re: My world has collapsed because I lost my mother 6 weeks ago today (37 replies, posted in Grief Management)
Dear Desiree, Good to see your Post and I feel you are starting to do better. Look at you, mountain biking, new job...everything will come around in due time and know what? It makes Mom very happy! It is hard and sometimes takes more than a year to find your new normal. There are times I will be just watching TV or driving in the car and all of a sudden this wave of sadness crosses over me and after just a tear or 2, I am ok. What kind of people would we be if we didn't feel bad now and then BUT I know if they loved us so much they would want us to be happy and if we loved them back as much we would prove our love by being happy. Six months is not all that long and I am glad to say I see a little relief in your post and I am elated for that. I do think the new job will help a lot. Congratulations on that and keep us posted on how you are doing.
14 Today 08:45:15
Re: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Know what everyone? If I could fly around like Santa, I would gladly clean your houses 'cause it would mean I get to meet each one of you!
15 Yesterday 23:35:45
Re: cancer back (4 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Dear Moontje, I am so sorry to hear this. In a strange way it may be a blessing in disguise. Those of you who have been in this site a while know that it is no secret that the only real cure is surgery, so that would mean they feel if it grows a little they will then be able to do surgery and I know its weird but Surgery in this case may be a good word. With that said, I would still get a 2nd opinion! Tom was luckier than most as he has had 5 years and that is so much better than just a few years ago. Yes, I would get a 2nd opinion. I forgot, where is Tom being treated? It is normal to feel scared but I know you will gather all the strength you can because Tom will need you to be strong. I don't know that much about the liver as Teddy's never went there but I am wondering if it is possible that someone else may suggest chemo instead? You never know how strong you are until "strong" is the only choice you have! I know you will fight one day at a time and since it is very small this may all be easier to deal with. Please keep us posted and best wishes.
16 Yesterday 22:27:52
Topic: Lauren Doing a Tad Better (18 replies, posted in General Discussion)
I would like to just let you know that Lauren is doing a tad better. I feel that Pam should tell you what happened today, not me, and I am sure she will when she has rested up. Prayers can only help so keep the cheering section going.
I was so upset today and the only way I can deal with it is to clean! I decided to clean my vertical blinds and after 3 rooms of verticals I am now horizontal. But I will be able to sleep a little better tonight now that I know things are better with Lauren! Just felt you would like to hear that. Please be patient about hearing from Pam, knowing Pam she is probably sleeping in Lauren's room! Any information from me is what I got from Pam's Blog and have not had contact with with Pam.
17 Yesterday 17:57:32
Re: Chronic Hives (13 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Aw, Lisa, We are the Pred twins. If we walked down the street we would be Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum! Hopefully you won't have to be on it too long, that stuff is nasty!
18 Yesterday 17:34:02
Re: New Member (17 replies, posted in Introductions!)
WOW! Bruce this is what I call a bestest Post! We have another Super Hero in your wife. She rules CC but it is not ruling her. You have so many wonderful plans/goals she has a lot to look forward to. Wonderful happenings, wonderful wife, wonderful life. Thank you so very much for this and my wish is for continued success!
19 Yesterday 16:26:55
Re: Lauren's 2nd Surgery News (38 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Dearest Pam, my whole being is with you and for you.
20 Yesterday 16:23:25
Re: Clear scan (9 replies, posted in Good News / What's Working)
Randi,Girl...a root-a-toot-toot! I am so happy for you. You are without a doubt a very special Super Hero! Luv YA! I almost forgot: MAZEL, MAZEL!
21 Yesterday 08:18:53
Re: Lauren's 2nd Surgery News (38 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Pam, heart and soul are with you all!
22 Thu, 16 May 2013 23:19:08
Re: Alternative or herbal remedies (2 replies, posted in General Discussion)
Dear Kaklon, I believe this has been brought up before, but not sure. We have a search button at the top of the page and just enter the name or word of what you are looking for and posts will appear on that subject. Alternative remedies are brought up all the time but we have yet to see any proof that they actually help in CC. If you want to ever try anything please make sure you ask your ONC first as you may try something that could work against what ever your treatment is. Relatives and friends want to help but they have no idea what CC is about. When Teddy first got sick I told family and friends that we appreciated their advise but we are only taking advise from our ONC. Sure saved me a lot of research and questions and they all seemed to understand.
23 Thu, 16 May 2013 19:00:48
Re: Hi y'all....from the South. (15 replies, posted in Introductions!)
Hello, Debbie 1 and what a wonderful post this is as we love the word stable. Thank you so very much for the update and we hope Mom's progress continues! Please pop in now and then and let us know how the Southern Belle is doing!
24 Thu, 16 May 2013 18:56:48
Re: My mom (9 replies, posted in Grief Management)
Dearest Jeeyoung,I am so very sorry to read about your Mom. I know that you know she is in a Healthy and Happy place but will always be watching over her Jeeyoung. I always say Mothers do not leave their children and she will be your angel for eternity. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.
Letter from Heaven by Ruth Ann Mahaffey
To my dearest family some things I'd like to say
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay,
I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I shall dwell with God above
Here, there's no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I'm out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you,
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
One thing is for certain though my life on earth is o'er
I'm closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb
Together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind
And when it's time for you to go . . from that body to be free
Remember you're not going . . you're just coming here to me.
25 Thu, 16 May 2013 14:23:22
Re: Some info from ONS congress (4 replies, posted in New Developments)
Karen, thank you so much. Lots to digest but so much to look forward with things moving upward and onward. Thank you very much for representing us you are just wonderful. It solidifies Percy's statements that new treatments are right around the corner. You are all awesome!
