Having just come from the closing of this period of time with my sister, I'll share a bit of what we did. Our initial consult with the palliative care team was in the beginning of July. That was when it was apparent that there wasn't more to be done to stop the cancer. Though it seems so scary to be in touch with hospice care people, they are truly helpful (if you get the good ones on board. And if you don't...CHUCK THEM and find the next one that is good.) My sister lived for two months from that time. For the first two to three weeks, she was semi-functional. When she was up to it, she came out of bed and even went out for short periods of time. As the cancer spread she was more and more and eventually completely bed ridden. The palliative nurses and drs. involvement intensified as she weakened.
At this time, you and your husband need to talk and make palliative care decisions. For instance, if he gets another infection, will you treat with antibiotics? If he can't eat and drink, will you hydrate and/or give tpn or something similar? There are different ways to go and YOU not the dr or nurse should make that difficult decision.
You will still have important cherishing moments with Butch--as well as hard and excruciating ones as well. I am thinking of you and if you have more questions, you can e-mail me privately and I can try to help. Best of luck and strength to you, Belle