Within the last week or so...particularly around Father's Day...my heart just crumbled...I miss Lee so much, that all someone has to do is say his name and it's enough to knock the air clean out of me. We celebrated Em's b-day on Sunday because it falls during the week, and all I wanted to do was cry because he isn't here...I suppose we are experiencing lots of "firsts" without him...inclulding trying to cope with the accident...I simply cannot find anymore strength within myself to smile, "feel",  hope,. I'm coming to you all now because I need you all and your wonderful words.

Heather

2

(7 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

This is also Emilee's first Father's Day without her daddy...we are in Colorado right now, I truly thank the Lord, because I otherwise don't know how I would get through it without his smile as he opens his gifts, his twinkling eyes when he would reach for her to say "thank you" when he was all fininished..in his honor for this day...my brother took Em to Home Depot and she picked out two purple flowering plants to plant and live on in the backyard...it is extremely painful to watch others celebrate and wonder why our little one will not have him here...but I know he is here spiritually, watching, laughing, and cheering us on as we go on without him.  Please know you are not alone, and are so very, very loved by all of us here, and by Jesus too!!

Love, Heather

I gotta say ladies...you all have a wonderful way with words! AND, YES! Can you see it now...the strength Lee had here fighting probably exerted itself TREMENDOUSLY, INCOMPREHESIBLY...when he saw what was about to happen to his girls...I have a confession to make...I really never even thought about it that way....and ya know what else? I think my dad had something to do with it too!  The both of them together, competing over us...how simply, simply wonderful. I love you all for your posts!!!! And being there for us. My deepest, deepest thanks.

Love,
Heather

It has been quite sometime since I've posted and have really missed being on the site.  May 8, Emilee and I were hit head on by a drunk driver just 2 miles from our home. I send praise and joy to the Lord for the both of us...Emilee escaped with absolutely no injuries other than that of the seatbelt and airbag. They flew her to Flagstaff Medical just as precaution. I however, my right femur shattered along with my ankle and heel.  I was also flown to Flag, and underwent three surgeries within two weeks time. I am now in a cast and will undergo therapy after July 2 to walk again. I have a metal rod in my thigh holding things together, a brand new plastic ankle and heel! Can't wait to get some use out of them.  During my stay in the hospital....I just kept thinking of Lee and all of our loved one's as they battled day in and day out, fighting this cancer...how brave, strong and awesome they all are and were to face such a beast. Their stories of hope and strength helped me not to complain. Gave me strength to get up and do as the doc's said even though it hurt like hell. Gave me peace that if they suffered the way they all did, my little ol' broken leg was nothin' but that...a little ol' broken leg and I was going to make it through this no matter what. It made me a whole lot tougher than I ever could imagine. I am soooo very grateful that I found this site well over a year ago...because looking back, I would have never thought I would be where I am now, getting through every day on hope, faith, love and the inspiration of everyone here.

Love,
Heather

Em and I are sending prayers of comfort, strength and courage to you Valerie and your family.

Love,
Heather

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(3 replies, posted in General Discussion)

When Lee and I went last year in April, you have 3 to 4 days of intense testing before you even see a doctor.  The cost for the four days was around $27,000. We were very, very blessed to have wonderful insurance that paid for every penny. Lee was not a candidate for transplant.  So needless to say, I can't even begin to imagine how much that would all cost.

Best wishes,
Heather

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(4 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Dear Carol, Mercy Me is one of my favorite christian groups I love to listen to when I need sometime for myself...the song you have posted is one that I believe I heard the story as to how the group wrote the song...a young man in his 20's was not a believer for all of his life..one night at his brother's, he gave his life to the Lord...on his way home, he was killed in a car accident...we never seem to understand the Lord's way...but I do know that what He knows of us...is much, much greater and better than what we tend to think is right for us...but my hope remains that as it gets closer to being the third month of my life without my beloved Lee, God IS giving me strength and my hope is one day I will be with him again.

Love,
Heather

Carol..when I lost Lee just two months ago, I thought the very same thing...now what will I do with me? Just know that right now seems soooo very, very overwhelming and you simply do not know what in the world you are going to do...but you already said it...one day at a time.  My very best friend told me after we left the hospital, "you know how you told Lee go baby, go...he is looking down telling you the very same thing...go baby, go...." my heart aches for you and please know that I will be praying for you.

Love,
Heather

Barbara....The Lord is close to those who are brokenhearted...Psalm 34...Lee had someone print this bible verse on a plaque for Emilee and I before he passed away...it brings me hope...as I pray it will for you...so very sorry to hear of your loss.

Love,
Heather

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(13 replies, posted in Good News / What's Working)

Oh my dear friend...wonderful news! I can feel your radiance and excitement right through the computer screen! Lots of hugs and smiles...you made my day!

Love,
Heather

My heart just breaks for you.  I was with Lee both night and day before he passed. Five minutes before he stopped breathing, I left the room to go get a toothbrush...I know that he knew I left...I do believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that our loved one's let go and go when they are at peace with everything around them.  Please know that you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers as well.

Love,
Heather

Oh Kris...when I read your post I thought of Lee...the things you as patients have to go through is UNBELIEVABLE!  At the same time, your courage, stregth, strong will and fight are INCREDIBLE!  I just remember seeing him out of the tub one day and gasping at what his skin looked like, and remember him saying how he hurt on the "inside" of it...I agree with debrah, desitin is very good...and Lee really liked Aquaphor...the ointment kind.  My prayers are with you and know how proud I am of people like your wonderful self!

Love,
Heather

Sophie, you are amazing! What an awesome group of gals to hang out with! Have a super time...and know that you are in Em's and my prayers!

Love,
Heather

14

(8 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Wow! I was reading my bible this morning praising and thanking God for his beloved son, Jesus Christ.  This Easter means more to me than any other because the promise that was made, whoever believes in me shall have everlasting life...my sweet, sweet husband is ACTUALLY there...with Him! His grace and mercies mean more to me now more than ever.  Wishing everyone a very joyous, peaceful, beautiful Easter!

Pam, you are so very right..she is now with our sweet Jesus...my husband has a new friend to show heaven too! I'm so very sorry you have to suffer such a great loss. You will be in Em's and my prayers...and know that we are all here for you!

Love,
Heather

16

(12 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

You both know that you are in Em's and my good, good thoughts and we will be praying so very, very hard for you both. And remember all things come together for the good of those who love the Lord!

Love,
Heather

Hey Tess...the Lord says that He has plans to prosper us not harm us...what a true, true testimony to His word...Congratulations on this wonderful, wonderful blessing!

Love,
Heather

18

(18 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Kris, You remind me so much of Lee.  Your attitude, your fight, your grace. I am so sorry for the yucky news. Please, please know that Em and I will be praying so very hard for you tonite and every nite thereafter.  You are winning the fight right now even if you don't feel like you are because you are not giving up...you aren't quitting!  Hang in there sweet one...we are all here for you!

Love,
Heather

19

(6 replies, posted in Insurance)

Hey Katie, from what I understand, you can't be working at all...at least that was our situation...Lee was able to collect from the time he applied and was accepted including all of the back time he had missed. If you have children under 18 you can collect for their benefit for them as well.  Good luck and God's blessings to you and your family.

Heather

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(9 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

My heart breaks for the family...please let them know that Em and I will be praying for comfort, hope and strength.

Heather

Kelly, my husband did really, really well on Kytril 1mg. (granisetron HCI). Now, if I remember correctly, he said that the Onocologist gave him as many samples as they had because it was an extremely expensive prescription that our insurance didn't cover...and we have really good insurance. Best wishes,

Heather

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(11 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Lisa, Please know that Em and I will be sending up a very special prayer for you today....God has been with my family and I every step of the way..I can see His powerful hand in every day life leading us...especially when I feel like I can't go on anymore. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13.

Love,
Heather

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(9 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Karen, I was in your very shoes one month ago. I traded hands with Jesus and let my beloved Lee go home. You are so very right when you say Praise be to God....my love and your love are now together having the time of their lives. Perfect Paradise...with our Savior. Prayers of hope, comfort, strength are coming straight to you now.

Love,
Heather

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Isn't God good!?  There is a song sung by the Christian group Casting Crowns called "Praise Him in the Storm".
I think this would be a great time to do so! What wonderful news...doesn't it just feel soooo good!? ENJOY!

Love,
Heather

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(6 replies, posted in Grief Management)

I'm so sorry as well Teresa.  I hope that you  know that we are all at different stages of grieving the loss of our loved one...but nontheless...we know what you are going through..and for me..when I know that someone else knows exactly how I'm feeling and can come up to bat for me swinging...it gives me more hope to take the next step forward.  It will be one month, one week tomorrow since my husband passed, and I swear, Friday's will NEVER be the same. But some day they will, they will have to be..because as strong as we were while our loved one's were sick, we will one day feel that strength again....even though we ought to consider ourselves super-heros for surviving! You will be in  me and Em's prayer's tonite!

Love,
Heather