My 89 year old mother was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma in early September after she was hospitalized for jaundice. An external biliary drainage tube was inserted because the radiologist could not get the ERCP through the bile duct tumor. Her doctors all said the same thing, that there was nothing they could do and we needed to focus on palliative care. She is in fantastic shape for an 89 year old but she has become so incredibly frail since she got sick. My brothers and I decided not to tell her she has cancer and is terminal because we thought if she expected to get well, she would have hope and may have more time with us. She was in a rehab facility for three weeks following her hospitalization to get her back on her feet. My brother and his wife were okay with her staying there but after seeing her decline I decided I would take a leave from work and have her discharged back to her place in NYC. Hospice is coordinating her care and I will stay with her in her home. In my mind there was no reason for her to spend her remaining time in a place with strangers and marginal food and being alone in bed most of the time, except for when my brother and his wife and kids visit for an hour or so every day. I live in Maryland and another brother lives in PA. I'm getting resistance from my brother and his family because I'm removing Mom from the facility and taking her into the city, 70 miles from where they live on Long Island, even though they declined to take her into their home (which was her wish). We all have choices to make and I think taking Mom home is a good thing to do. Please pray for her, for me, and for us all. May God Bless. Thanks for listening.
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