Kris and Hans,

   As always, I am thinking of and praying for you.

Joyce

I am so sorry for your loss. Do remember that , dark as these days are, we will see our loved ones again some day. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Joyce

3

(27 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Oh Kris, I remember having almost that same conversation with Butch, and know how difficult this is for you both right now. Just keep remembering that you are young and strong, and we will all ask God prayerfully to "kick Leroy's (and Junior's) butt".  We are with you in spirit.

Joyce

4

(11 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Hi Tess,
   Thinking of you , your family, and your Dad - and said a prayer. Baby Jack must be a joy, and it was good to hear from you.


Joyce C.

5

(7 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Melissa,

   I am sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandma. It is my prayer that God will comfort you in your loss.

Joyce

Hello to all my friends,

     I am looking forward to the day when we can all meet somewhere - it would be wonderful. Darla, I am so glad that you and your friend have each other for company and freindship - I don't know what I would do without my friends here. Tomorrow I am going on a bus to the Philadelphia flower show, with two of my friends that I met through the bereavement group. I still attend those meetings - tonight , as a matter of fact - 1st Monday of the monthy.

     It is a "Wisconsin" winter here in upstate New York, also - we got out worst storm of the winter last week - 18 inches of new fallen snow - I hope it was the last bad snowfall of the season - we always get one in the middle of March, however, and that is the last hurrah!

     I agree with Janet about the parallel universe - time does pass oddly now, I think. For the most part, though, it is picking up speed - they say it does, as we grown older!

     I am interested in hearing about SUe's holdiay - hope she has a great time!

     Pauline - I hope the time in Italy was good for you, and that you returned to work rested. I know it is difficult for you to go there without Anthony, but it sounds like such a lovely pace that I hope it brings you peace to be there.

Love - Joyce

Ron - I am in upstate NY and they are predicting a "snow hurricane" today! Never heard that prediction befroe - up to 74 mile an hour winds, they say! I will probably stay home and bake some of Kris's great cookies, with a fire in the fireplace.


Joyce

8

(16 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Mary,
   We are all reading this and pulling for you and Tom. Keep up the good fight. I had a book - when Butch was ill - called something like "the clean liver diet" - is this the one you mean? I recall it was very helpful to us - written by a lady Doctor.

Joyce

Rick,
   I agree with you. To say that you WILL be healed if you only have enough faith is to imply that YOU have failed if it goes badly! It's sort of like a "blame the victim" thing! All through my husband's illness we prayed/pleaded/begged each and every day for God to intervene and make him better. My Husband believed that faith alone would do that for him, I had my private doubts. Now that he has gone, whose fault is it that God didn't save him from dying? Mine, his, or - God's? Well, the answer is, it is none of our "fault" - God simply had a different plan for Butch, and I have accepted that. I have gone through my "crisis of faith", and come out the other side realizing that we truly can't know the mind of God, but he does love each one of us, and the plan he has for each and every one will unfold as time goes on.

Joyce C.

We truly do understand what you are going through now. The suffereing was what made it possible for me to accept that he must go from this world when the time came. My husband wasn't on hospice as long as yours has been, but it was agonizing. I pray for strength, peace, and that God will comfort you and your husband  at this time.

Joyce C.

Marion,
  Is that wonderful lady Sheila Harrison -  from Elmira? She is the person I first "hooked up"with myself - Darla knows her also - she collects the data on winning cases submitted & helps other people around the country. She lives about a 1/2 hour from me and we had lunch one day - she is the nicest lady, and she travels around the country - talking about this subject - I gave her a stack of the brochures we had made.


Joyce C.

Yes - if there is any question, Vietnam Veterans or their families should file papers to ask for a ruling. I receive "DIC" (survivor benefits) for Butch from  VA. Butch was shipped to Vietnam with ULCERATIVE COLITUS, Iif you can imagine they did that!) and served there 17 months. He became VERY sick - almost died there, and received a medical discharge.  Because his consquent diagnosis's of PSC and cholangicarcinoma both stemmed from that original diagnosis , the the liver flukes "thing", they approved my claim. I think his was a pretty clear cut case - but - other people should try - VA has approved a number of these cases over the last year that are NOT so clear cut.

I don't know about Korea, Lainy - it would be worth inquiring into, I would think.

Joyce C.

13

(23 replies, posted in General Discussion)

This takes my breath away - I can't imagine what must be going through your mind. I will be thinking of you, and praying for you, my young, brave friend. My only child - a daughter - is your age, so I always follow your story very closely. What ever your decision, God will be with you.


Love - Joyce

14

(18 replies, posted in Good News / What's Working)

I am doing a happy dance for you - so happy to hear this news.

Joyce

I like February, and - I had a pulled pork sandwich for dinner last night! Delicious.

Lainy - I've forgotten - did we ever send those letters on to Ellen, after you tried Oprah??

Joyce

16

(7 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Oh my - I would love to go with you - have a wonderful time - all of you.

Joyce

Sue,
   That is so wonderful to hear. Stay strong and healthy and thanks for giving us good news and hope for tomorrow. To all of you out there who are fighting this struggle - battle on - you are - each and every one of you - brave and courageous and I pray for God's blessings on all.

Joyce

I am so sorry about Brian. Nothing we could posibly say can convey the thoughts  that we all want to say to you, but just know that we are here for you, and we understand how you feel.

Joyce C.

Party on the beach, fireworks and barbecues sound like such a good time. I also liked Burns night, Gavin - until I looked up the receipe for Haggis - got to admit - sounds nasty!! We are learning a lot though - cultures and customs of the world.

Joyce

Hello Everyone,
   Sorry to hear about the illness - Pauline, hope you are feeling better now, and Janet - shingles are nasty things - I had them once and I know.  I do agree that , having gotten through the holiday period, we will all improve. Sue - let us hear how that new job is going - hope you are enjoying it? Darla - those anniversaries are very difficult. I have been very busy at work myself, and need to hit the shower now - another day is beginning! It is best to be busy, though - I agree - and I do have my projects going - I am embroidering a picture for my daughter now, and reading a couple of books. I still am in the bell choir at church - I like that very much, so - these things keep my going.I can't wait for spring and the gardening thing to start!

Love - Joyce

Hi Danielle,

    I am so happy to hear from you - sorry that this sadness we feel goes on and on, but I know that you are a strong woman, and you will find your way. We are all here for you when you need us.

Love - Joyce C.

22

(15 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Elaine,

    How fortunate you are to have had a wonderful person like Gary in your life, and what a wonderful, thoughtful thing for him to do. It's like my finding that Valentine card Butch gave me - it came with flowers on Valentines Day in 2008 - He wasn't diagnosed until early March, so we didn't know about the CC. The card said "To Joyce - my wife - , for life, and beyond'. I put it in my wallet (I was out when it was delivered), and forgot about it until months later, after he was gone, when I found it one day and read it.  Anyway, I will look forward to meeting with you when you are here next. In the meantime, take care and God be with you.


Joyce

23

(15 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Hi Elaine,
   I am sorry you are going through the terrible "downs" of ups & downs. This will go on for a very long time, but, as I said, it DOES get better - not good, but - more bearable. I did try a bereavement group - last January (Butch passed on in early October of 2008). It did help me, and I go to a Young widow's bereavement group now (also through Hospice) - the first Monday of the month - and have met some friends there who have become very dear to me. We go to the movies, out to dinner, etc. together - even went to NYC to see "Wicked" at Thanksgiving. It is very helpful to have friends who really understand each other, and we have something to look forward to - probably more helpful than the grievance group even.
   I guess we all learned there is no "fix" to this thing, and certainly no quick answers. I just always tried to remember what everyone always said - time heals all wounds, and continue to work at rebuilding this new life. Having this site, and my friends here has certainly been a great help, and we would like to be here for you too.

Love - Joyce

24

(15 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Oh , Janet, it is so difficult - last year at this time, the world was a different place for you. I sometimes think about that - that one moment in time when everything changed - it is the same for all of us. I am so very sorry that you are so sad - it will get better - it has for me. The one year anniversary was brutal, but - read Lainy's poem - it does comfort me, reading it - makes me realize that we are not alone - our loved ones are around us in spirit. I will be thinking about you and the boys. 

Love,

Joyce

25

(12 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Sophie,

    I am overjoyed to see your posting on here, and, like the others, so sorry to hear all that you are going through. We are with you, and praying for you. You are such a special lady, and so very brave.

Love,

Joyce C.