(134 replies, posted in General Discussion)

What a very sad time!  Kris was such a strong lady with such a will!  My Aunt Sophie had such respect for kris and love.  Me too!! It jusy breaks my heart that such an amazing young woman had to fight such a battle.  Words are not enough to explain my sympathy for the loss of such a young and beautiful person.  God speed Kris.  You will be missed by many across the world.  Please accept my sincere condolences for you loss! 
Love and Peace to Kris' family and friends at this time!  Life can sure seem unfair and unsure.  There must be a reason for this pain and one day we may understand.  I am at a loss for words due to my own pain from the loss of my most special person.  (Aunt Sophie).  Not a day goes by, and barely a few hours that my heart does not ache to hear her voice one more time.  Love like there is no tomorrow and remember those special times and moments forever.  With a heavy heart,   Hollie Miller


(54 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

I am so saddened to hear of Teddy's passing.  I know how hard it is to see a sweet loved one pass.  You are in my thoughts and hope you know how Teddy's strong will and fight has and will reach so many fighting this battle.  He was such a strong man.  You are an amazing person with a heart bigger than life.  You are there for so many even when you need it most.  Sending a big hug to you!
Love, Hollie


(8 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Hi Kimmie,
I totally can relate to your story.  First I would like to say sorry for the loss of your precious Mother.  My Aunt Sophie lost her battle July 2nd, 2010.  She was like a mom to me.  My feelings for her were so strong and she made a huge impact on my life.  My kids were close to her like a Grandma.  People either do not know what to say or are afraid to upset you possibly.  After that first week of my Aunt's passing she was not brought up to me by friends or husband even.  We will be sitting on the couch and I will say,"I miss my Aunt so much!"  He will just nod.  My sister is struggling like me.  I look at a picture and get emotional. Think of how we used to go to movies or a car ride and want that but can't.
The thing about the mother in law is a feeling I have also and Sophie was my Aunt not Mom.  My husbands Mom lives 15 minutes from where my Aunt used to.  I do not want to go down (8 hours) because we will not see my Aunt. That relationship may suffer till I get through this.  My thoughts are with you.  Losing someone special hurts. 


It is a very sad day today.  Aunt Sophie died today at her home with her daughter by her side.  I have been through this every step of the way for her and will miss her dearly.  Sandra Lee May "Sophie"  December 12th, 1947-July 2nd, 2010.   She was my "go to" person.  She always had the perfect solution and always so concerned and loving.  Thanks for all you support and love you have here.   Love,  Hollie


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

My Aunt has not passed away yet.  She will though any time soon.  She has not had any food or drink since Monday.  When I speak to her on the phone she does not respond but I know she hears me.  It has been a hard week for myself and family.  I will let you all know when she does pass on.  Thanks again to all of you.  THe other day I went through old posts and had a good cry.  Been having a few too many good cries lately.  Once the tears start flowing it is hard to stop them.


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Dear Friends,  My Aunt Sophie has only a few days left.  I am finding it hard to talk about it without crying.  This past 2.5 years have been so hard but this is the hardest of all.  I knew it would be difficult but she can't even talk to me on the phone as of Monday.  This change happened SO fast.  I am sick with grief.  I know you guys understand the pain in losing a loved one.  I will let you know when she passes this life to be with out Savior.  She is not eating any longer and is %100 percent bed rest with hospice. Her daughter is with her now.  She is only 63 and was so looking forward to travel, grand babies and retirement.  Since I live so far away  I have always feared not being able to call and hear her voice and now that time is here.  Thanks for all your support.  She loves all you here and would want me to share.  Love, Hollie


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Things have definatley worrsened for my Aunt.  The live in care taker ended up not working out.  She was not there for the right reasons and did not work out.  As of lastnight a new lady moved in to be with her in her house till the end.  I pray it works out this time and my Aunt can be as comfortable as possible.  Hospice is also going to start coming in 3 times per week or more if need.  Aunt Sophie is almost bedridden and very weak now.  She will not be getting the drain any longer for the ascites either.  The doctor feels she is too weak and it may be causing the fluid to come back faster.  I am hoping to get down to see her real soon.  My sister is going this weekend and I will the next.  My Mom, her only sister is due to come to Ca. from Iowa in July.  I hope it is not too late.  My Aunt is able to talk on the phone and actually sounds ok but I know she is not.  She has also said the whites of her eyes are turning yellow.  All along I hear people talk about jaundice and this has not been an issue in 2 and a half years till now.  She is not eating much at all either and I just hope she is going to be ok these last days here on earth.  I know some of you here think of her because she used to be such a big part of the discussions.  I would each of you to know that God has promised comfort for the tears, strength for the day and light for the way.  With love,  Hollie


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Hi Lisa,  my Aunt and I both think of you too and pray for you.  I just hung up talking to her and she fell lastnight!  I am so grateful for Kathleen. (the lady caring for her).  She said if KAthleen wasn't there she may have been down awhile.  I am so sad that happened.  She said she started to spin and went down hitting her head.  Love to you also!  Enjoy your Memorial weekend everyone.  Hollie


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Hi Everyone,  I really appreciate your thoughts.  Darla,  I agree with you that this is so hard for all involved.  Also that sometimes a quick end to the physical and emotional pain is better than a long process.  My Aunt's mind is so sharp but her body is giving up.  It has been really painful to see her fail slowly but surely over the past two years.  Sometimes I wonder how this disease is so different for so many patients.  For example, my Aunt has never been jaundice.  Seems like so many are.  Kris, you are a true inspiration!  I just wish I could give you a big hug.  You are going through your own fight and have a heart bigger than life.  You are a very special person.  Gavin,  you too have an incredible compassion as you know first hand the struggles and sadness this cancer brings.  All of you out there mean a lot to not only myself but to my Aunt.  She is not actively involved here any longer due to the circumstances, but is praying and being updated by me as to what is going on in so many people's lives that have touched her by this.  One other symptom my Aunt Sophie has that most do not is the ascites.  To me that is the one thing that has caused my aunt the most pain and discomfort.  Also the mouth sores.  SHe has been through so much and to me I just can't understand why one has to endure so much.  She really is a strong women to keep waking up, taking the pills, forcingherself to eat and going to the doctors.  Also keeping up on watering the plants and paying the bills, all by herself.  Till now that is.  I pray this new care taker is just what she needs in her life to help her get through these next days.  Thanks for listening and for all of your support.  This web site is a God send.  So nice to have people who understand to talk to.  Even my husband tells me I am taking on so much and stressing.  I admit I do stress and worry and try to take time and clear my mind from the uncertainties.  Sometimes it is hard.  Love and prayers to all,  Hollie


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Hi, I do not know how I did that but I deleted one post cause I did this one twice.  I did read what you wrote Lainly and I appreciate how caring and sincere you are.  I will call my Aunt later today and see how it is going and will be better to keep all of you up to date.  Thanks again!


(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Today is a hard day as my sweet Aunt now has a live in care taker.  We have been struggling with the idea for quite some time now.  She lives so far away from everybody so it has been tough.  A friend and neighbor of my Aunt referred a nice single lady that would be interested.  She moves in today and I just hope for the best.  I went down to visit at Easter time and knew then that it was time to make a plan.  The other options just did not work because she is so comfortable with her current doctors.  Plus, there really is no place like home.  I of course am worried, scared and feeling so far away.  If only I lived a few hours closer.  The calls I make daily are better than nothing but she is so out of breathe that she can not talk long and is hard to understand.  She is still getting the weekly drains for the acsites and that fluid build up has been just miserable for her.  She mentioned to me that her feet were swelling and turning a blueish color.  Also her legs.  She has been such a trooper for the past two and a half years and this has been the hardest thing for me personally.  To see a loved one suffer for so long is unbearable at times.   I think of the day I can't pick up the phone and call her. It is all too much to handle at times.  Just wanted to say hi and let you all know how my Aunt Sophie's situation is.  She is far too weak to check in here so I am certain there will not be any posts from her but I will check in soon.   Thanks for caring and being here!   Hollie


(12 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I pulled up the site just now like I do most days and about creid when I saw my Aunt's name.  I am glad you came on and posted today.  People care so much and hope you know it.  Love you Auntie!!   Hollie

I know you would make an amazing Mom!  All of your posts are always so reassuring and positive for people when you reach out.  It is so normal to feel the way you do about not being able to have children.  Then everyone around you having them seems so unfair to such a young woman as yourself.  Just know that you are a very special person and deserve the best.  Thinking of you.  I know I love my Aunt Sophie like a MOm.  I am certain there are kids out there who love you as much too.    Sending good thoughts and love from Ca.   Hollie


(14 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I just read all your posts to my Aunt and she appreciates all the advise and concern.  You all are so caring, supportive and just sweet.  She has tried most of the suggestions and nothing works.  What is so strange is how she has been off chemo for almost a year and why the sores.  She said it must be because of a compromised immune system.  It just breaks my heart for all people suffering from this cancer and any cancer.  Will be in touch.  Please take care and God bless you all.  Love,  Hollie


(14 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Thanks so much for the response and support.  I am not able to reach her yet today but will go over all these ideas and see exactly what she has been trying.  I did a search but most of the sores that came up were from chemo.  She has been off chemo since Feb. or March of 2009.  She is usually very exhausted on Tuesday after the drain.  They get any where between 5 to 6 liters.  It offers some relief but does come right back.  My Aunt is having a hard time with food and drink these days so I do think an IV may be a good thing.  Her body gets so depleted of all nutients after the drain.  Especially her potassium levels.  Will be in touch soon.  Thanks again! Love,   Hollie


(14 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Hi,  Things have been very stressful lately as my Aunt is now suffering from very painful mouth sores.  I did a search and did not find much out.  They have her taking some type of a pill five times a day and it is huge and hard to swallow.  So far it is not helping the situation.  Aunt Sophie had been drinking 7 up and is not able to any longer due to the sores.  Also a thrush like looking tongue.  I am so worried and concerned for her at this time.  Anyone have any similar situations and advise as to what may help her through this.  She will go in for the drain tomorrow like she always does on Tuesdays and I just pray it will go well and she can get some relief from the sores.  Sorry I do not know what the pill is.  I will ask her tomorrow and get back to you.  Thank you for all your support.    Hollie

I am so sorry to hear this sad news.  Your father must have been a great man to raise such a caring and compassionate son like you.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this very sad time.  It really breaks my heart to know loved ones are being lost to this disease.   Take care of yourself Gavin.  Love,  Hollie   (Sophie's niece)


(16 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I asked her why she is not active on the site any more and it is a mixture of lost hope and also no strength.  I have not seen her in person since August so when I see her this Sunday I will understand more what is going on with her physically.  She knows how much people here care and I do call her and read to her.  When Jeff passed away it was hard on her and I do believe that is when she stopped posting.  Thank you again for continued support for my Aunt Sophie.  She needs it more each day.   Take care and will write more after the trip.      Hollie


(16 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Thank you for more good thoughts.  Same back to you GAvin for your father and for your sister Lalupes.  We all must go through such similar emotions and know the burdens of cancer in a loved one.  The support on this site is amazing.  My Aunt used to really be involved on here, but no longer has the strength or hope to continue.  I really wish things were different.  The past two years have been filled with hope and despair.  I will write when I return from our trip to see Aunt Sophie.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


(16 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Thank you for checking in to say hi and also for thinking of my Aunt Sopihie.
Marion, Lainy, Kris, Joyce, and Darla,
Thank you for reaching out and sending so many well wishes and good thoughts.  When I found this today I was very touched that so many people out there are so caring.  I called my Aunt right away to read her all the kind words you all wrote.  She started to cry and was emotional as this process has been quite hard on her and everyone.  You can all relate to this awful cancer and we are both so grateful for all the support.  She is unable to sit at the computer to respond so I am sending her love and gratitude.  Her humor and strength has not been the same for some time now.  It is so hard to see her slowly suffer with the symptoms.  At this time I would say the ascites and abdominal pain is the hardest part.  She does get drained every Tuesday, but only gets a bit of relief and it is short lived.
This time last year we thought that would have been her last Thanksgiving and were praying she would make it to see her first grandbaby.  Anna, was born in January and now making it to the first birthday is in reach.  I wish there was some way someone could comfort her and ease some of the suffering.  Just barely getting by day to day seems so unfair.  Well, thank you all for being out there.  I know heartfelt concern is a click away.  You are all the best.  I am looking forward to my time over Thanksgiving and will write when I return.  Take care and God Bless You!   Love,  Hollie


(16 replies, posted in General Discussion)


Thanks for the post.  I have been thinking of you so am happy to hear you are home now.  Keep your spirits up and stay strong.  Sending many good thoughts your way!   Love,  Hollie

I am so sorry to hear you are not feeling well.  You sure have been through a lot this past month.  Hang in there and prayers coming for strength and better days.  Bet the Fall colors sure look beautiful where you live.  It is cold here and even snowed yesterday.      Love,   Hollie

You have been through the ringer, and you are a tough cookie.  Is your Mom still with you?  Kids able to make it home from school to help you recover?  I sure hope so.    Thinking of you and praying for your quick recovery.   What you have been through would make anyone feel like a truck hit them.  Wishing you all the best Lisa.     Hollie


(26 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I have been thinking and praying for you!  I am so relieved to hear you are home and recovering.  Stay strong and keep that positive attitude.  You are such a trooper and will get through this.  What a blessing your Mother is there to help you recover.  Hang in there Lisa.    Hollie

Morning....Thanks for the reply's..Marion...where do you live?  If you make it to Truckee let's have coffee or lunch..That would be great.  I will write when I get back from my visit.  My Mom is actually moving in with my Aunt so she is not alone any longer.  It gives me so much comfort to know someone is with her.  I will tell my Aunt you are all rooting for her and she is always thinking of you all here.  This web site has been an amazing support to her and me too..HAve a great day!     Hollie