I am so sorry for what you and Norbert are going through. Having to deal with the strokes along with the CC just multiples everything. I too think getting the help of hospice may be the answer for the moment. You need all the help and support you can get right now.
As for how you are feeling, I totally understand. I too, although glad that some are getting treatment and doing well, am sad, angry and probably at one time had some feelings of jealousy that Jim was not one of those lucky ones. He was too weak for any treatment and died before even coming home to hospice. What you are feeling is normal for what you are having to all deal with right now.
I have seen a lot of things change in the 6 years since I lost Jim to CC and I have seen a lot of changes in treatment and more awareness of this disease. Everyone is different and you have to believe that there is help & hope out there. Try not to worry about the future. I am proof that you will be OK no matter what happens. Just try to stay strong and deal with things as they come, one day at a time. I know it is somewhat of a cliché, but God truly does not give us more than we are strong enough to handle. Some days it just seems that he has more faith in us than we do. You will get through this and you will be OK. Know that we are all here to help and support you in any way that we can.
Love & Hugs,