1

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Porter,

So glad to hear all of this.  Now relax and enjoy the holidays and birthdays with your kids.

Hugs,
Darla

2

(4 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Dakotabean, 

I totally understand your frustration.  Having to deal with CC is enough of a blow, but this is so unfair.  I too am wondering how they explained this and if you haven't already, I would definitely let them know how you feel about all of this.  Can't hurt and at least it might make you feel better letting them know how you feel and what a blow this is to you and your husband.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of everything else.   Keep right on venting,  we understand and will keep on listening.   smile

Hugs,
Darla

3

(7 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Dear Carl,

I have to agree with everything Marion has said.  I too feel that the stronger your love the harder the grieving, but it is a testament to your love for Lynn and it is that love that makes you feel as you do.    We have all been where you are now and yes, it does get better, it never truly goes away, but we do learn more how to deal with it and to gradually live our lives again.  Yes, it does take time, longer for some than others and that's OK.  A part of you has changed or gone with her, but know that she too is always near you and if you are open to the signs, they are there.

Thinking of you and hoping that things will get better.  Take care Carl and know that we are here for you when you need us and are ready to come back and be a part of this wonderful group of people who share this common  pain.

Hugs,
Darla

Everyone is different, but this is how my husband was.  He tried to keep going and working as long as he could until he just couldn't any more.   I too was in denial and didn't see how fast he was going down hill.  Yes, for him it went rapidly towards the end and he also couldn't eat and would vomit bile,  was totally exhausted all the time and couldn't sleep.  Meds didn't help him either.    I think Lainy's list may be helpful to you at this point and I agree, he does need hospice.    Know that we are all here for you to help in any way that we can.

Hugs,
Darla

Dear Mandy,

I am so sorry for your loss.   There are no words that will take away the sadness and grief but know that I am thinking of you and your family.   Try to take some comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering or in pain.  Keep him forever in your heart and all the memories you have of the happy times that you shared.  Know that we are all here for you to help and support you in any way that we can.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Happy Birthday Duke.  Glad you had such a nice day.  Here's to many more.  smile

Duke,

I am absolutely speechless and that is so not me.  I am so sorry you had to experience this.  No one deserves that kind of condescending treatment, but least of all those dealing with this disease who probably are much better informed than most, thanks to this site and the wonderful people on it.

Also hoping for the best results for your niece.  Please let us know how she is doing.

Hugs,
Darla

8

(14 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Thinking of you Gavin and also your mom & dear dad as I know he is still with you.  smile

I'm a year ahead of you.  Over 6 years for Jim.  Hard to believe how these years have gone by.

Hugs,
Darla

9

(13 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

I call them hot tamales, I think that's a Sheboygan thing,  but that confuses people as that is not what they are and mine are definitely not hot.  I go with more tomato soup, onion and garlic and eat on a bun or if I lather it on heavily like Duke mentioned,  then it's open faced and a fork.   Yes, drain the grease,  butter on the bun and sometimes add some cheese.  Wine not beer for me.  smile
Adding a Packer game to the mix sounds about right.

10

(178 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Dear Tom,

So good to hear from you and Ben.  Sorry to hear of the turn things have taken, but it sounds like you both are dealing with it all as well as you can.  Glad you were able to have a nice Thanksgiving and are looking forward to the rest of the holidays, Ben's birthday and the boat parade.  Yes, just live for today. Tomorrow will come and there is nothing we can do about it.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring.  Just enjoy every day and make the best of it all.   Just take it one day at a time. 

Know that I am thinking of you both.  Stay strong and remember we are all here for you  to help and support you in any way that we can.  Please update us on how things are going when you can.

Lots of love and hugs for both of you.
Darla

Gavin,  Thanks for all these great links.  Haven't gotten trough them all yet, but am enjoying them.

12

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Dear Porter,

Hoping that you will find out  that it is nothing to be too concerned about, but I do understand your feeling as you do.  Know that we are all here with fingers crossed hoping for the best.  Keep us posted as to what is going on. and know that I am thinking of you.  Wishing you lots of luck & love.

Hugs,
Darla

Oh my Gavin,   thanks for these.  I especially enjoyed the one from the Victorian time.  Loved the architecture, clothing etc.  The Cadbury Chocolate sign caught my eye.  wink  Enjoyed the music, too.  You do a great job promoting Scotland & Dundee.  Maybe you should consider being a travel agent or guide.  smile

Hugs,
Darla

14

(5 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Dear Mary,

No Mary, you are not crazy.  This is pretty normal for most who are in our situation.  My Jim has been gone over 6 years, Sept 2, 2008, and I still have bad days.   I too have lost several friends and relatives recently.  A very good friend died this summer and then on his birthday, my mom passed way and a few days later another good friend and on  & on it goes.  This was in September and it really hit me hard.   I basically am doing OK, but some days are much harder than others.  I don't think the feelings ever really go away, we just learn better how to deal with things. 

I haven't had any counseling or meds either, but I am fortunate that I have a very close friend who's husband passed away 3 months after Jim and out situations are so much a like that we know, understand and can talk things through with each other.   I also have a group of friends we have known for years as couples and now all the husbands have passed away.  Jim was actually the last one.  I keep in touch with them and we get together once a month for lunch.    This site, and those friends are what  get me through those hard times. 

Keeping busy does help and I think you could use someone who you can talk to honestly about your feelings who truly gets it.  Unfortunately, unless they are in the same situation, they really don't get it.   Most just think we are doing fine.  They haven't a clue.

Vent all you want or need to Mary you are not being stupid.  Just expressing how you feel.  It does help.   Come here and share your feelings when you need to.   That's what we are all here for.  To help and support each other in any way that we can.

Yes, this too shall pass, but you never know what or when it will hit you again.  Take care Mary.  Hoping you can find ways to work through these feelings.   

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Lainy,  I too still believe in the liver fluke theory as Jim was in the service during Viet Nam,  I think it was already there in the bile ducts and the statins may just have brought it to life and made it develop more quickly.   This is all just assumption on may part.   Jim was never sick either other than having to have his appendix removed years ago.   After being on the statins he was also told he was board line diabetic.

Deb,  Jim was thin and had not smoked or drank in years. Being thin worked against him as he didn't have anything extra to help fight this.  Was also very active until the CC.

Interesting that I also know of a young man who was an entertainer and  toured in those countries who  also died from CC in his late 40's.

And so it goes.  We may never get the answers.

Great news  Julie.  Enjoy!   smile

I agree with the rest.  Aggressive is a good thing when dealing with CC.

Duke,

Interesting topic.  My husband never took any medications but had been advised to try statins for his cholesterol levels.  I often wonder if that triggered the CC in his liver.  They constantly test liver enzymes when on statins, but interestingly enough, his were always normal until close to the end.  One of the many reasons it was hard to diagnose.   

Darla

19

(13 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Heather,

If you can't be honest about your feelings here, where else?  This is the place to vent all you want.  You have every right and we all understand.  Many of us have been where you are now and felt just as you do know.  I was 60 and my husband 62 when he passed away and I felt that was too young to have to deal with this, but at your age it is even more so.    At the end I felt they should have been more honest with me, too.   I too knew he was dying, but the doctors did not tell me it would be hours, not days.   I'm sure they were just trying to soften the blow, but I would have rather known how quickly it was happening.  I totally understand how you are feeling.  Please continue to vent your feelings all you want.  We are all here to listen, help and support you in any way that we can.    Thinking of you and your family and sending you strength.  You can do this.  One day at a time.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

20

(6 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Happy St. Andrews Day Gavin.  I'll lift a glass to you, too.  smile

Beautifully said by all.  Brings tears to my eyes.

Hugs,
Darla

Dear Stephanie,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss or your mom.  Yes,  the pain is there and nothing anyone says can make it better, but please do try to take some comfort in the fact that at least for her the fight is over and she is no longer going through all the pain and suffering.  She truly will always be with you in your heart and all the wonderful memories you have of her and in time those memories will help your heart start to heal.  It is a long and gradual process and it never truly goes away, but it will slow begin to get better.   You and your family have my heartfelt sympathy at this very sad and trying time.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

23

(11 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Well said Lainy.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING  to all.

And YES!  It's GO PACK!!!!!!!!  smile

Darla

Christian,

I can only agree with the others.  Unfortunately this is common with this disease and the ups & downs are just the nature of CC.  You definitely did the right thing.  I know your mom understands and appreciates your concern, help and support.   Let us know how things are going.

Hugs,
Darla

Dear Christian,

Thank you so much for sharing the details of what is going on with your mom .  I am so sorry for what you have all had to deal with the past few years and now this.  I do totally understand as I lost my husband to this disease and have lost several other close friends and relatives since and although we do begin to handle things differently than others who have not been through any great loss in their lives, it still is not easy.   

Stick with us, we are all here for you and truly understand what you are dealing with and going through.  Let us know how mom is doing and how things are going.  We truly do care.

Love & Hugs,
Darla