(134 replies, posted in General Discussion)

A beautiful person, she touched a lot of hearts, and will be remembered always.  Thank you for taking care of her so well, Monkeybutt.  (who gave you that name?!)  Sorry.  I had a visual.

Hi Katie!  That is wonderful news.  Yay!!! (Picture us jumping up and down).



(7 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Okay.  I could barely type....the tears are in the way.  That was a beautiful letter from your heart.  Don't ever lose that connection.  That letter spoke volumes of what a great man your dad was.


Amy....I am so sorry.  Know that we are all here.  Sitting, understanding, all extending a cyber arm to wrap around you...
said a prayer for your Mom.



(13 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Louise:  I am sorry for your loss.  I am glad, though, that it was peaceful and that your daughter was there with her.  My prayers are for you now.


To Daddy's Girl:  How about if you hire a caregiver for your own place to take care of your Dad; and when/if he's asleep,  to clean and cook the special meals for him?  Then, you'll have more time to do your other things.  Whew, you've got a lot on your plate.  Good luck.


Hi Stan:

I went through that with my parents.  Mom being sick and Dad too elderly and frail to do the necessary linen changes, etc.  I think he would have wanted either my sister or me to stay there 24/7.  As you know, this is hard even with us being retired.  There's cleaning up the place, cooking, changing and cleaning her up (shower, etc).  Then, there's doctor visits for both him and her. When it came to soiling her bed linen, it became too much.  Though I only lived a block away, I still went to bed dreading the ringing on my cell phone.  It was exhausting.  There was no time for quality time.

Maybe if you approach it to your Mom that the caregiver will do the things she can't do herself.  Like cleaning him up if he soils the linens, changes the bed, cleans the house up, cooks.  Then, she can just spend quality time with him.  She can take a quick break to go to the store.  Someone will always be there.  You will be able to go there after work and just spend time with your Dad, not run around doing all the other stuff.

Yes, we got someone to come in twice a day.  The caregiver was wonderful.

She knew when it was very close to the "time."  She came one day, and asked if she could say a prayer for my Mom.  The next day, Mom left us.

Yes, get a caregiver.



(4 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Thank you.  It was very touching and wonderful.  The video was a gift of love and I appreciate very much your sharing it.  Sending loving thoughts to Jeff through my tears.



(12 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Jeff was a wonderful person.   Sorely missed.  Never to be forgotten.

Love to him and his family.


Mon!  Great news.  You've given us hope again.

Lainy:  Beautifully said.

Marions:  You are right on!

Marjo in tears still.......

I am so sorry too.   We will miss his cyber-hellos, cyber-hugs and cyber-love.


Hi Lisa:  Congratulations on the bureacracy working right and smoothly on your first try.  May more good stuff come your way!



(8 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Hi Carol:  I just finished watching the tribute.  It was absolutely lovely.  To have Charlie's photo next to the video, it looked as if he, too, were watching and smiling serenely at his life, his family, and the love shared.  Charlie was a year younger than my husband, and I had to chuckle at his teenage hairstyle.  It was the same!

Hang in there, Carol.  We're here for you.


My mom had fevers also but they lasted on part of a day.  Despite the fact that she hated being cold, the doctors said we must take off the electric blanket and let her body cool down.  That and cold compresses (which she hated) brought her fever down rapidly.  No infection.


Dear Jill:  Many good thoughts and prayers going to you and your family from me and I know a lot of other people.  Please remember to take a step back and take care of yourself too.  This is a very stressful time for you to be dealing with so much.  I know you have to do what you have to do, so continue to build your strength up.   Here's a cyber hug around your shoulders.


Good to hear from you, LD.  Yes, do stay with us.  This site is so helpful.


Natasha:  I am sorry you are going through all this.....first your dad and now your mother.  You don't speak of any brothers and sisters than can help you?  My mom passed away about 3 years ago.  They never put a catheter in her, so we had diapers the whole time.  Also, she didn't have any BM problems.  It's been 3 weeks since your last post.  How are you doing?


(18 replies, posted in Grief Management)

I, too, thought perhaps those 2 men were angels sent to watch over you.  They will probably leave when they know you are strong again.  If in doubt, the next time they appear in your dreams, instead of running away, approach them and ask "what is your message?"



(22 replies, posted in General Discussion)

A thought and a prayer and all the good vibes I could muster have been sent your way.



(10 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Lina:  I am sorry.  Please be sure to stay with us.  This site understands all too well.  Someone is always here for you.


Carol:  I am so sorry for your loss.  I am glad he was surrounded with his loving family.  We are with you.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. "

---by Mary Frye


(13 replies, posted in Good News / What's Working)

Lainy!  Are you  kidding me?  What native San Franciscan has not eaten at Alioto's.  It's an icon.  Cold on the wharf though.  I am thinking of you and Teddy basking (baking?) in that Arizonan heat.  After Ahwatukee, I moved up to Fountain Hills for a couple of years.  10 degrees cooler.  107 instead of 117.


Ms. Roma 35:  You may have seen this link.  It is beautiful.


I have my arms around you.   I am sorry for your loss.



(9 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Hello and welcome!  I, too, am like you in that I found this site after my mom had passed away.  But, reading all that people shared gave me additional insight. After awhile, I began to feel maybe I should/could share some of my experiences in the hopes that someone else can benefit.  People here really do understand.


Hi Lainy:  Was Teddy a "regular" at any particular golf course?  If so, maybe you could talk to them about letting the old regular guy ride the path in the golf cart.  I think prices will start dropping because of the heat.  He'd be out in the warmth and having great memories.   You could freeze some water in a plastic zip-lock and put that on yourself.



(13 replies, posted in Good News / What's Working)

Hi Lainy!  Can you put Teddy outside (maybe not in direct sunlight) with plenty of water so he won't dehydrate?  My mom used to love it when the sun shined through our car window onto her.