1

(4 replies, posted in Grief Management)

My sister, Suzanne McClure, passed away February 17, 2012.  She was diagnosed in July 2008, and I feel so fortunate that we had almost 4 full years with her before she lost her battle with cc.  Immediately after she passed away, and for a couple of weeks after that, I felt a sense of relief for her - I was with her when she passed and I was relieved she no longer had to deal with CC and all the things associated with it.  My problem now is that there is such a huge hole in my life and I don't know how I'm supposed to go on day to day without her!  Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but I just never gave any in-depth thought to how my life was going to be after her passing.  When my Dad passed away in 2012, I didn't think I could ever be any sadder than I was then, but there is something about losing a sister that creates a completely different kind of sadness.  Maybe it's because she was younger than me, and the baby of the family, but I truly never realized how much our lives were intertwined (even though we lived 3 hours away) and how close we actually were until I could no longer pick up the phone when I heard a song that I thought she might like, or I needed to bounce something off of her so she could give me her opinion.  I still actually go for the phone when I think of something I want to say.  My sadness is so profound, that even I am in awe of it - I didn't think it was possible to have this type of sadness lurking in the background all the time!  I know that time will heal much of what I'm feeling right now, and I will certainly be glad when that time comes!  I loved my sister so much and would have gladly traded places with her.  She was beautiful, smart and funny - I have no idea why she had to get this awful thing, and I probably should just stop trying to figure it out - there are no answers.  Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the extreme sadness until time can help?
Thanks,
Terri

2

(9 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Suzanne's memorial service was held this past Saturday - it was a beautiful and heartfelt service with many friends and family in attendance - it was truly a celebration of her life. 

After Suzanne passed away, Lainy posted a poem called 'A Letter From Heaven' - we put the poem on the back of the memorial service program and received so many comments on what a beautiful poem it is - so thank you once again, Lainy, for posting it.

And thank you to everyone on this board for all of the help and information we received while fighting this disease - the board was like a shining light in a dark place and made all the difference in my sister's will to fight.

Terri

Rachel,

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your son. 

Terri

4

(9 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Oh, Lainy - what a beautiful poem...thank you

Terri

It is with a broken heart that I am letting the board know of the passing of my sister, Suzanne McClure, known as suzannegm on this board.  She passed away yesterday at 4:40 pm in a hospice facility in Georgia.
She was so beautiful, and I adored her.  She was a loving wife, daughter, sister and aunt and a hole has been left in all of our lives.
While taken way too early, (46 years old), I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer dealing with this ugly disease.  She was diagnosed at 43 and got so much support from this board - she only had to stop reading and posting after she lost so many close friends - it just became too painful for her.
Rest in Paradise, my beautiful sister!

6

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

We are still here at the hospice facility and Suzanne is resting fairly comfortably but there is something so wrong about going through this with your sister that is 6 years younger than you are, although I am honored to be here for her, and with her. 

Terri

7

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Thanks so much, Lainy-it means so much to know that others care...

Terri

8

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Suzanne is not doing well and has entered a hospice facility-please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.....

Thanks,
Terri

9

(19 replies, posted in General Discussion)

This is Terri, Suzanne's sister - hello all - and hello, Hans!  Nice to hear from you - thought of you and Kris yesterday.  Suzanne is doing ok, despite having been out of treatment since March of this year.  She has had many different types of treatment over the last 3 years and none of them were as effective as we hoped they would be & also investigated having a liver transplant but unfortunately wasn't a candidate.  She feels relatively good and gets out fairly often to run errands, take in a movie or eat out.  My family and I will be going to visit her and Eddie tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving.  I will let her know you were asking about her - it will mean alot to her as she always got so much support from everyone on this board -

My sincerest condolences in the loss of your brother.  I will be saying a prayer for you and your family.

Terri

11

(1 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

I went to Jessie's blog today and was saddened to see that she passed away yesterday, Dec 29.  Through her blog, I could see she was a very special person and loved by many.  Her courage and strength throughout her battle with cc was astounding.

Terri

12

(17 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Kevin,

Both Kristin and you are in my thoughts and prayers-

Terri

Heather - my sister has cc and is being treated at Emory / Winship Cancer Institute in Atlanta.  They have a wonderful team of doctors there that are willing to explore every option.

Terri

14

(11 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Paula -
I just wanted to put my two cents' worth in - my younger sister was diagnosed with cc last July.  She was succesfully resected in February and is doing well now, but she was devastated in July when she had to break the news to us that she had cancer - she was worried about putting that kind of burden on us!  What it did for me, however, was allow me the opportunity to participate in this intensely personal fight for her life.  I have been able to help her research information and be a caregiver when she had surgery.  I would not take a million dollars for being able to be there for her if she needed me.  Point being - (and I know I'm not saying anything different than the other posts) let people surround you with love and support.  It will help you - and them, too.

Terri

Foodie - 
I've been in the same position you are  - I am praying not only for your sister but for you, too and sending positive thoughts your way!

Terri

Carol -
  I am so sorry that Charlie has gone - you and your children are very much in my thoughts and prayers.

-Terri

Hi Foodie -
I am so sorry to hear about your sister - believe me, I understand your feelings completely!  Please feel free to email me if you just want to talk -

Terri

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and support. This site, and everyone on it has been like a lifeline to us since the beginning of our nightmare that began in July 08.  The information that Suzanne has been able to gather from other members of this club has been invaluable and has assisted her in so many ways, like how to deal with her doctors, what to ask, etc.  The emotional support could never be replaced because only those who have dealt first hand with this thing can begin to know what it feels like.   She is doing so well with her recovery and hopes to go home Monday.  Again, thanks to all- please keep her in your prayers as she still has a long way to go.

Oh, and if anyone is looking for a great surgeon oncologist in Atlanta, I have just the one for you!

Terri

19

(20 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Kris -  a big round of applause for you, from a couple of SC girls, by way of Atlanta!  You can never know how your story has been such an inspiration for Suzanne and me - your attitude and approach to this nasty thing has helped us along on our journey, and will continue to be a source of strength for us. 

Terri

Just wanted to update everyone on Suzanne's progress - she is still recovering nicely, although the doctor hasn't mentioned going home as of yet.  She hasn't started on solid food but is getting some vitamins via IV, so she is staying healthy.  She completed 5 laps around the floor this morning - woo-hoo!  I had to hustle to keep up with her!  One major bit of news - pathology reports came back yesterday and all margins are clear!  Just writing it in this post makes me teary-eyed - I can't describe the emotion I felt - that we all felt  -when we got the news.  The sun just keeps on shining brighter every day!

Terri

Patsy -

I know how hard it is to lose your dad - I lost my father in 2000.  He did pass away from cancer, although it wasn't cholangiocarcinoma.  I'm not sure if it's harder on daughters when their fathers pass or what, but what I do know is that I had a terrible time, so you are not alone!  I did the same as you, crying out of the blue not matter where I was.  I was so sad for so long. 

I finally am able to talk and think about him without crying (at least most of the time) and remember all the fun things and the good things about him, instead of remembering the last days and the funeral, etc. 

I am rambling here, but I just want you to know that time will take care of a lot of your pain - believe me, it will come, but it will take a while.  It is just so new right now.  Allow yourself to grieve and to cry, and know that it will get better.

Terri

All -

I am happy to report that Suzanne's resection was successful!  She is 2 days out of surgery and already sitting in a chair for extended periods and taking walks down the hall.  Her doctor is extremely happy with the results, and of course, we are, too! 

Terri (her sister)