It's been a long time since I've posted..stayed up reading your blogs, both old and new, last night and think you'll understand and help more than my family. Last admittance to hospital we found out mother's CC in liver and bile duct had grown considerably and there were 4 new satellites. She's still not in pain, thank you, God, for that blessing! However, although her SATS are staying around 98 with oxygen, she is so totally out of breath and when she gets that panic look in her eyes my heart just breaks into...how to help...she has short term memory loss due to previous tumor removal from pituitary which left her with diabetes insipidus. She knows she has cancer because she's been told and we've discussed it ; however, it's not something she brings up and I hate to remind her.
In the 3 years she has had to live me with in MO, she had never once complained about having to leave her home in Alabama. In fact, she doesn't complain ever about anything! I know she would rather be in her home and I'd like to grant that unstated wish. HOWEVER...I have one sibling, an older brother who has been up to see mom once on the day the biopsy was done, once when we met with the oncologist (stayed a day and a half each time) and a week the last time Mom was in the hospital because I didn't think she was going to come out. He is retired. Just returned from 11 day trip to Alaska with his wife for the honeymoon they never had. He takes care of Mom's house, seeing that grass is cut, plants are watered, house is dusted and vacuumed and bills are paid. He has to have surgery on his shoulder in the next week.
I know Mom is at the point where if I'm going to take her home I need to do it soon. My husband had to take a new job in December 2010 2 hours from our home and his own mother has had to move in with him because of mini-strokes, loss of driver's license and early Alz
heimers. Our 2 children, ages 25 and 27, live here in the same town with me and help out when they can, but I feel I am relying on them more and more. If I take Mom home to Alabama, will I actually have more support from friends and neighbors or will my brother just come by for short visits and I'll still be on my own and in addition I will have to argue with him about life-prolonging procedures. I want Mom to live as long as she can, but it's also about the quality of life vs. quantity. I wish I knew what will happen next.. I know no one can tell me what decision I should make, but it helps to sound off. Thanks for listening.