Thank you for all your wonderful responses. I am deeply touched that people would take the time to offer comfort in such a way. God bless you all.
Marion, thank you for the advice. The children issue is perhaps the one that occupies my mind the most and I am almost more afraid of their pain than I am of my own. I work with kids and hope that my experience will be of use. I will try to internalise the wise words of Dr Giles and I am sure they will help.
mn, thank you for your post. Sometimes I look at my wife and I think that I really have no idea what she is going through. I know what your dad's going through and to an extent what you are going through.
Maria, thank you for your question. She has started on chemotherapy with a drug called 5FU mixed with another drug whose name escapes me. The stent issue has not arisen as the symptoms of blie duct blockage are relatively new.
Lainy, thank you for your advice. I think I understand what you mean about strength. Having children in this regard is helpful. I think if I only had to find strength for myself, I would just fall apart but having to be strong for the kids means that I will be. Sometimes I think my wife's death will be my finest hour as friends have already been telling me how well I am doing. In a way this helps but also makes me feel terrible. How wretched would I be if I took pride in using this opportunity to show all our friends what a cool guy I am? I keep telling myself that this is not about me but fundamentally all human beings are egocentric. I think the answer is 'just do your best'.
We do have some contact with the local hospice and havae been in touch recently. Unfortunately our palliative care nurse has been away on holiday for the last two weeks and gets back on Tuesday. I am sure that a serious conversation about ongoing care will take place this week. The funny thing is that we live in Leeds, England and she has been on holiday in Pheonix, Arizona! You may have walked past each other unknowingly.
CM, thank you for your kind words. We have both been well supported by cancer charities and have been on courses about coping strategies, so I know what you mean about breathing. I also find that coffee and cake helps.