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(18 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Kris, so glad you got to come home and are having such a great time!

Carol

Thank you all so much.  You do my heart good.  Kris, you can email me anytime.  Ben is at Appalachian State.  He's having a tough time, but I think will be okay.  Sarah is still at home with me attending Winston-Salem State to get her teaching degree. I'm still looking for work.  I'm sure things will get better.  One day at a time. You all are always in my thoughts and prayers too.  Much love, Carol
I found this on a website.  A Christmas Prayer for those who have suffered the recent death of a loved one:

God of compassion, there is such a hole in my heart! Today should be a day of joy, but I feel only emptiness and loss. While the world celebrates around me, I remember Christmas celebrations of the past and I long to have my loved one with me. I bring my sorrows to you, Lord, like some odd gift of the magi and dump them at your feet. In my blind tears I wonder if anyone can possibly understand the depth of my sadness.

I know, you can. You sent your son to be with us in our deepest sorrows and I know that even though I might not feel it now, you are here with me, grieving with me, caring for me in my sadness. Dearest lord, help me to turn to the one I miss so much today and speak. Help me heal the loss of our parting and help me not to regret the things I didn't say. Sorrow tears at my heart, but today I ask that my loss soften my heart and make me more compassionate with everyone I meet, so that my loss may become a gift to others.

I feel like I've dropped my cc family. I guess because it's all tied up and so closely related to Charlie's life and ultimately his death.  I love and admire so many people here and couldn't have made it without you all.  You'll always be a part of my life. I only got through a few posts this time and that's all I can do.  At Christmas, it will be 8 months since Charlie's passing.  Some days, it's still so painful it's almost physical.  I go to Hospice meetings on how to cope, I read grief books, I pray a lot.  It's still a struggle and I'm sure will be for a while.  I always try to remember how young at heart he was and how he would want his family to continue forward and be happy.  I know there are many more of you out there dealing with the same issues and grieving.  I'm so proud of Kris and all the others who won't give up.  Bless you all. Continue to stay positive.  Merry Christmas with much love!!

Carol

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(16 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

I'm so sorry about Ron.  He was such an inspiration to Charlie.  I know you'll miss him dearly and keep him in your hearts.

Carol

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(11 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Oh Jan, I'm so sorry and I'm sorry I didn't know about your Dad.  Was Karen your Dad's Hospice nurse too? She was wonderful.  Did you get a chance to go to the Hospice Memorial service in Winston-Salem in Dec.?  I saw Karen there.  It was very nice.  Your Dad's name would have been up on one of the trees just like Charlie's was.  I think of you often and hope you're doing well.

Carol

Fantastic news Suzanne!

Carol

I am so sorry for you and your family Gavin over losing your Dad.  You're right.  He'll always be in the hearts of those who loved him and he won't be forgotten.

Carol

All good thoughts and prayers for you on Thursday Kris!

Carol

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(21 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Lots of love and prayers for you Kris.  Fingers and everything else crossed that the blood vessels are in the right place for surgery and good liver function tests. 

Carol

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(46 replies, posted in Blogs)

I am so sad to hear this.  Jeff had written me in a personal email that he felt he wouldn't be far behind Charlie and it was not quite 2 weeks later that he left his loving family.  Jeff will also get a big welcome from Charlie.  They were the same age and I think they helped each other out and I know Jeff helped me many times.  That was his way.  I'm so sorry Valerie, Rachael, Jeff's son and all the grandkids.  You are in my prayers.  Much love to you as you face the journey ahead.

Carol

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(8 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Hey Marjo, I always picked on Charlie about his boyish haircut too.

Sophie, you are such a sweet and wonderful person.  I'm glad some of the prayers comfort you.  I know they do me too.  Take care of yourself.  Praying for you and everyone on this site.

Carol

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(8 replies, posted in Announcements)

Barbara is a wonderful woman.  She emailed me personally when Charlie died.  Her Dad died on the same day.  She is very special!

Carol

I'm so glad for you Lisa.  It's wonderful when things sometimes surprise us when they go smoothly.  I hope it continues for a long time. 

Carol

I posted this song on Charlie's Caringbridge site.  I think it describes so well how we feel when our loved ones are gone.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Thank you all so much for your sweet condolences.  Life does go on, but dreadful sometimes without Charlie.  I'm nowhere near that "acceptance" part of grief.  I'm in the "I can't believe he's not here anymore stage" I guess...shock and denial?? 

Tess, I love what you said about Charlie playing in a bigger band now and Butch playing golf Joyce.  Thank you Sophie, I hope you're doing alright.  Karen, Heather, Colleen all with recent losses of your loved ones, thank you for taking the time to comfort me. 

Kris, Lainy, Joyce M, Marjo, Janet, Darla, Jan, Jamie, Patty, Terri, all of you.  You're the best!

Love, Carol

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(8 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Thank you Marion. I think it turned out well.  Hugs to you too!

Thank you Darla.  I know it hasn't been that long for you either.  I hope you're getting along as well as you can.

Janet, modern technology is amazing!  Hope things are settling down for you and your family a little. Thank you.

Don't feel bad Jan.  We've laughed over the crazy 80's and 90's big glasses too.  Thank you for your prayers!  Hope your Dad is doing alright.

Love, Carol

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(6 replies, posted in Blogs)

Thank you Marjo, Jan, Tess and Patty.  Charlie was a great photographer.  We have so many of his beautiful pictures.  At his service, I had several of his framed photos on easels at the reception after.  It was all very sweet and touching.  I know he would have liked it.  Thank you again!

Carol

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(8 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

http://www.hayworth-miller.com/

Click on Charlie Pfaff on the left, then click on View Tribute Video

With a heavy heart, I want to tell my dear friends here that my sweet Charlie died tonight Thursday, April 23rd, 2009 at about 10:00 p.m.  He was surrounded with love and prayers by his family.  No more indignities of diapers and such.  He's well and free in Heaven now.  We have beautiful memories to last a lifetime and more love than most people ever experience so we are very blessed.  We told him it was okay to let go and be peaceful.  Hard times ahead that we will get through.  His service will be Sunday afternoon with choir and band.  (Bands are big with Moravians).  He played in it until he couldn't anymore.  He'll love that.  Then, what will I do with myself?...one day at a time...don't get too far ahead.  I have faith all will work out.  Thank you.

Love, Carol

Does this help?  I googled it and came up with this site.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=s111-717

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(10 replies, posted in General Discussion)

I hope the new chemo keeps your tumors in check too.  It is a lot to keep up with.  Wishing you all the best.

Carol

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(8 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Hey Kris, I'm sorry your bloodwork wasn't quite where it needs to be, hoping for the go ahead on Mon.  I'm so happy for you about the cottage, sounds like just the right medicine.  Have fun with your sister!

Love, Carol

Dear Pam, I'm so sorry.  You and your family must be reeling when things started happening so fast with your Mom.  What a beautiful loving family.  What more could anyone want than to go peacefully into the arms of our dear Savior surrounded by those that love us most?  I know you will miss her terribly.

Much love,
Carol

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(12 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Lainy, wishing and praying the best for Teddy's PET scan.

Carol

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(18 replies, posted in General Discussion)

Hey Kris, I'm glad you're feeling better.  Get out on that bike and go.  There's nothing like laughing with a sister or brother.  Enjoy it, I know you both will.  Yay for better weather.  I understand the sacrifice of no milk in your tea and I admire you.  Someone would have a big fight on their hands if they tried to take away my french vanilla creamer for my coffee.  I gotta' have it!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and keep you in my prayers.  Love you!

Carol