Cc has appeared in lymph nodes very close to my aorta. Surgery and radio are out if the question because of the location. I am hoping chemo will reduce the size of the lymph nodes and if so, will have 6 sessions followed by six months off and then have another 6 sessions. I have been told that no one has had more than 3 lots of chemo. My oncologist told me on 14th July 2013 to expect 18/21 months. I have taken several opinions and all are the same. I have completed my first gem/cis cycle and so far I have tolerated it very well. Constipation - easily solved. Tiredness - easily solved. Metallic taste - easily solved.
I am very positive but also very realistic. Every day I do something new, achieve something and laugh and giggle. I have a wonderful supportive network of friends and family and I secure in the knowledge that I know they will be there for when I really need them. I am not afraid. My deepest sadness is that I will not see my wonderful son live his life (he is 22).
Emotionally I am fine ... of course I have dark times (I call then my mascara and pillow days) but a giggle and a laugh always puts me back on top and I'm never short of them. Everyone knows my situation and I discuss everything that is happening to my quite openly to anyone who asks or wishes to know. I find that the easiest way to deal with it. I avoid stress at all times. For example, last time I had chemo it broke my heart to see my hair falling out (I have a mane of beautiful thick wavy hair). If it falls out this time, I will shave it off and have fun choosing hats and scarves rather than be stressed at seeing it on the floor every day.
Maybe I sound cold, but I am far from that. I believe I am being cared by angels and that there is a reason why this is happening to me. I do not yet know that reason, but one day I will.
Thank you for remembering me.
With love Sandie