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Thank you all dearest friends, I am up for the battle, just awaiting a start date. I am not frightened of the inevitable, just want to live life to full in the meantime and know I won't go down without a battle. I think the chemo regime is going to be tough, but hey ho, when the tough gets tough, the tougher get going and I'm tough. Have researched possible side effects and got into the system which I hope will support me through.
I just so wish no one had to go through this, but we are dealt the cards we are dealt and have to play the hand we have.
With love and appreciation
Let battle commence again. I am so sorry to tell my caring cyber friends that cc has returned in my lymph nodes. Scan have revealed that they have doubled in size in the last few months and possibly invited a few friends to the party. In a few weeks I will start six months of Gem/Cis and hopefully the party will quieten down. I am interested in side effects of Gem/Cis - had Xeloda before which left me extremely tired with red paws and a touch of chemo brain and flu.
I'm sorry to hear of yet another case of cc. I had a tumour which was 11 x 9 x 6cm and my resection was successful.
Good luck, I will keep you I my prayers for success.
Good news Kris, I'm with you, keep smiling xxx
Thank you special friends for your hugs, support and love, soooo much appreciated. Scans and tests to follow, seeing my new super amazing prof again on the 15th October when decisions will be made ... or not ... hopefully lots of prayers and love will shrink tumours into insignificance. Miracles do happen ... I know they can, I'm still here so ... BECAUSE I CAN. Super positive, still giggling and still having loveable blonde moments xxxx
Marion ... I'm now permanently in the UK and seeing a prof of onc tomorrow in Manchester (I'm praying for good news).
I'm happy to join any support group in the uk ... the more the merrier.
Good luck Kris, I am praying for you xxx
Thank you so much for your love, support and advice ... I have today told my one and only child at the age of 22. How cruel this world is. He is devastated, he lost his father to cancer. I have found a support group that I hope will be able to guide him through his journey. He is so strong and so loved and so lovable. My prayers and strength are for him. Oh cruel world, at best please give me the strength to see him graduate from university and begin to fulfil his dreams. Each day I am positive and laugh, my exterior is tough but those wretched tigers come at night. x
My tears fall when I am alone .... not for me, for those who love me, I so don't want to cause any heartache and pain but no not how to avoid this. I will keep you posted but it may be a while as I await my transferral. Thank you so much my dearest friends xxx
Thank you so much for your thoughts, love support which are so very much appreciated. At the moment I am aware that I have two tumours in the bottom of my stomach wall which I have been told are almost certainly inoperable due to the proximity of major blood vessels. I am transferrring to a specialist in Manchester in the UK and await a meeting with the team to decide the best plan of attack. Weapons are at the ready!
Lainy, I'll hold off on the job offer, too much work to do here!
God bless dearest friends and thank you for being there.
I was free of the monster for 18 months ... but it has returned and the battle and the roller coaster ride start again. I cry, I scream, I laugh, I smile .... I am still me ... I will not let it win. Why me, why anyone, why does this monster invade our lives with no thought, care or discrimination? It has no value, no meaning, it causes nothing but suffering and pain. No words can explain the anger, the intense emotional pain, the deep fears or the sheer hatred for this monster that wants to control me. Why why why? I could explode into tiny pieces because I know this bar-steward will leave my dearest family and friends with pain that they so do not deserve. Please pray for them, please pray for me to have the strength to keep laughing and giggling and pray that I will win another battle.
Heaven is a place where one day you will meet again all those who have made your world. There are so many people who have admired and prayed for your darling Lauren and one day she will meet them because she was so special.
God will look after her for you.
My love and thoughts are with you.
Hello again and especially to Pat who wrote recently. The mental side of recovery is as important as the physical and, as Pat so rightly said, having a positive attitude is important for one's well being. I also think regular exercise, healthy eating and endless laughter are all in the melting pot to add up to a good recipe. My own issues were exacerbated by the fact that my husband could not cope with my cancer and drunk heavily leaving me feeling very vulnerable and fragile We are no longer together and I am having to rebuild a new life too. Hey ho, these things are sent to try us! So, another strategy I found was to create events for the future to look forward to .... next week, next month, ext year ... Whatever happens I feel so very lucky that I am even here to be able to contribute to this discussion. I firmly believe God has plans for me and I have yet to fulfil those plans, which is why I am still here.
Love to you all
Just wondering how just visit to rad onc went. Praying for something good, you so deserve it.
Bob, I think you are right, sometimes a little scientific intervention is good. I have seen my doctor again and we have reviewed my meds and with a few tweaks I am beginning to feel calmer, but appreciate there is some way to go. Thank you Bob for your empathy. Faith, you are so brave and I will be praying for and thinking of you. You are amazing keeping down a job and coping with your cc journey. love to you. Sandie x
I was so sorry to read about your sister. You and her have being very brave throughout your journey. Gid bless you x
I have always admired this site for many reasons, but for me I particularly appreciate the support and honesty it provides. Now recovering from CC, I can say that I cherished the honesty, I knew where I stood and it allowed me to ask questions from a position of strength through knowledge and the experience of others. Surgeons, oncologists and nursing staff are honest with patients and their families and I feel anyone reading the posts on this site can accept such honesty and believe that those readers are the very people who want such honesty. They know that there is no magic cure hidden amongst these posts, they come to know that there is love, support and honesty. I suspect that highlighting the fact that information may be of a sensitive nature may draw people to read such information. How many times have we read posts that include a phrase along the lines of "I am so glad I found this site" yet have we ever read a post that says the opposite? This site is an amazing source of information ... some information we want to read and some we don't ... but both become valuable in our quest for understanding. i would advocate it continues to be that way
I so love you guys .... maybe we should write a record or have a worldwide CC jelly bean party or ..... xxx
I am soooooo sad to read about your brother. Please take comfort in believing that he has gone to heaven, a place where one day he will meet again all those who made his world.
Thank you for your message. I know others will read this too, so I will be
honest in answering your question as to how I am. Physically I feel fine, I try to exercise every day and eat good healthy food and love living. I never say no to an opportunity and I laugh and giggle every day. Mentally is a different story ... I don't know how to describe how I feel ... my doctor says I have post traumatic stress disorder. I have a wonderful network of friends and family and feel surrounded by love and to the world I try to be happy and always smiling. Yet at night the tigers come bringing their endless questions ... will it recur, why did I survive, why can't others be so lucky, why does it hurt to be alive, why do I feel lost .... ? I now have counselling and take antidepressants and sleeping tablets. I like to believe that this is another part of my CC journey and if I can overcome this part, which I will, and understand it, maybe I can help someone else who travels this painful path. My motto is .... because I can .... everything I do is simply because I can and I desperately want other CC patients to one day say the same. Thank you for asking after me and I so hope you are doing well too. With love
Hi ... I'm only 13 months free but have plans to set a new record ...
I think heaven must be a place where one day you will meet again all those who made your world ... with love xxxx
Brilliant news ... I will tread with Lauren every step and remember laughing is an amazing tonic xx
My heart goes out to you and I shed tears for you. Please understand this disease has no rhyme nor any reason. May I suggest you use your time to create a loving memory book of your mum, write down everything you think of about your special mum, try not to spend your time asking why ... there is no answer.
Thinking of you
Posts found: 1 to 25 of 54