My heart goes out to you on losing your mother. I, too, lost my mother to this terrible cancer. She passed away a year ago last July. She too, was my best friend. That being said, I also struggle with the loss. What has helped me with my grief is my belief that we will be together again one day. My faith in Christ is what carries me.
We all deal with grief in are own way, but at some point it can become unhealthy. I remember when my mother unexpectedly lost her husband to a heart attack, and then six months later lost her mother to cancer. These losses were devastating to her. I witnessed her strength during that time, even though I know she was hurting tremendously. Even during her illness, she was so stoic. She was teaching us that we have to go on and make the best out of whatever life throw our way. Believe me, I know it's not easy. I have days where I just cry off and on, and then days when I feel an incredible void in my life. During these times, I find myself reaching out to help others. There are so many people in need, and it's a great way to help in the healing process.
As far as signs, I do believe God gives us signs that our loved ones are fine. For example, one day at work some of my co-workers were trying to come up with a name they thought I look like (I guess they don't think I look like a Mona). One of them said you look like a "Virginia" I looked at her and said, "that's my mother's name." Her mouth just dropped. She did not know my mother's name. What are the odds she would have come up with Virginia? May be Debbie, Linda, Susan, Patricia, etc (more current for my birth year).
Desiree, I pray that you will find peace and happiness again. Your mother would want that. Please continue the grief support classes as long as you need. Seek healthy ways to grieve. There are lots of resources out there. God Bless you. Mona