(5 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Hey guys,i closed on the house today,my social worker tressa has been a best friend this last year,she deserves an award,lol.anyway,the first 6 months were oh terrible,ii took tressas advice and got help,meaning anti depressants,witch i am no longer on,she was concerned about me leaving george and i home,i left just a few months ago in November,i was ready,i thought,well,Lainy,you asked me if i received anymore signs from george,i believe he had a hand in finding this house,it fell into my lap i know he approves,its in the neighborhood we lived in,as a matter of fact i can see where my beloved george and i lived,i feel he led me
Back home,the neighborhood he loved.,moving in tomorrow. Georges family don't keep intouch much anymore,thats ok,his sister is not a happy camper because georges good childhood friend takes me out for lunch a lot,he don't really care for her.terry made sure i wasn't alone during the holidays,we had christmas together with his daughter and grandson.oh yea,on a sad note,george and i had a dog his name is jake,we had him 14 years,our jake died on thanksgiving,i was with him,also my uncle passed away  thanksgiving.wow I'm typing a lot,sorry so long,love you guys, more later...  :-)


(5 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

Hello everybody,wow,it has been a long time. I hope this little note finds all well. Its been a rough year,but i am good,much better then i was 6 months ago.as most of you know,its been a little over a year,and im ok. I have been blessed these last few months,long story short,im buying my first home yay,close tomorrow.I'm not much of a writer but if you ask me about the last year i can tell you better what has been happening. I want you all to know that i didn't forget about any of you espically you Lainy..


(6 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Hello Clarem,thank you,i am well,one day at a time,thank you for asking,and how are you?Lainy copy away,miss tressa told me write write write,i am starting to fine a new normal because i know i will never be the me i was with george,i need to find a new me,somewhere..due time,i have decided,that since an old friend of georges comes by a few times a week to go riding,im going to take a riders edge course to get a motorcycle endorcement.the freedom i feel on that bike is unbelieveable,.have to try,mom is happy,she started riding at 58,now at 77,she just sold her bike a year ago..she says riding was one of the best things she has ever done..love you all


(6 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

My relationship is not over with you because you are no longer here with me physically,my connection to you can never be severed,you are imprinted on my heart and woven through my soul.I will continue to talk to you,write to you,and kiss your picture,your love is a vibrant part of me.my promise to you is to never let go of you,i will always stay connected,i will always feel your love in me,i know you have my back as i continue to live and grow.I will always Love you.

p.s.Honey,i promise,i will try to like popcorn.(wink wink)


(10 replies, posted in Grief Management)

thats ok Clarem,hope your doing well...


(10 replies, posted in Grief Management)

oh Lainy,that is beautiful.i forgot to tell you all about the penny,i was sitting at georges computer resizing pictures of him for a neckless im making,and from out of nowhere a penny falls onto my leg.i am going to put that penny in the neckless..love you all lynn


(10 replies, posted in Grief Management)

just want to let everybody know i am ok,trying to keep busy,my daughter to me to clearwater beach last weekend,for 3 days,so relaxing,but chilly,i was sitting poolside watching the dolphins playing,and i swear for a split second i saw my george sitting in the chair in front of me,a very comforting feeling,george and i use to go to the same beach every saturday, 6 years ago.sure do miss him,the hurt is so hard to bear sometimes.its still hard to breath without it hurting,sometimes i think im ok,then bam,reality,my heart starts racing,i cry uncontrolable,i think im going to spend the day tomorrow with my george at his grave,i know hes not there,i just feel the need to be there.sorry im rambling on,by for now,love ya all,lynn


(2 replies, posted in Grief Management)

sorry its been awhile,i wanted to let you all know im hanging in there,i survived yesterday,3 month mark,trying to stay busy,friends took me to the strawberry festival,it was bitter sweet,something george and i did every year,i got to meet the crew of georges favorite tv show,lizard lick towing.I told them how my husband loved their show,and that he passed away befor the new season started,they said he had the best seat in the house watching,any way i copied and pasted this from my facebook page,i read it every day and it helps so much,brings so much comfort.

Although your physical form is gone,i am not living my life without you. To live truly without you would be to never have known you. Instead, i continue to live with you infused in my heart, in my memories, in my spirit. I live with your love etched into my being. You will always, now and forever, be a part of me.

i will try not to be such a stranger...still love you all....Lynn


(1 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Happy Birthday George,and once again,thank you for the tug on monday.

ok,so Yes,George wouldnt leave me alone  monday morning,let me tell you what happened,i woke up and just didnt want to go anywhere,i knew i had to go pay the morgage,but just didnt want to get up and get dressed,i kept feeling this tug,and it was telling me get up go you need to do this today,i fought it for awhile,but gave in and went.well,tuesday morning,that same bank i was at monday,got robbed,if i did'nt give in and go,i would have been there.My George was that tug,and the inner voice telling me to go...I love you Honey.forever and ever...


(4 replies, posted in Grief Management)

all i do is stare at pictures of my george,i make memorials for him,i cant stop crying.even when our grandsons are here,i have to go in the bedroom and let it out.i miss so much watching george make devin run and laugh,and withe them here,it just hurts,i love them so much,i miss watching george get them their breakfast in the mornings,i miss him so much it hurts to breath.sorry,for the rant,im just so lost...


(8 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

oh dear Lainy,sorry to hear about your med problems,i do hope you get to feeling better soon.


(23 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Well hello everybody,sorry it took so long,i made it back home wednesday evening,all in all my mini vacation went ok,it was nice to see family and friends
but i got really really home sick.yesterday was me and Georges anniversary,i took flowers and a card to him,in the rain,But the interesting thing happended on the way,i was driving,just about ready to turn into the cemetary,and i felt George,i really did,he brushed my leg,i know he did,there was no one or nothing that could of done that.after i gave him the flowers,i came home,feeling peace,last night,i got up out of georges recliner,where i had been sleeping since he passed,and went to bed.i slept so peaceful for the first time in a month...love and hugs to you all Lynn


(23 replies, posted in Grief Management)

well here i am in pa,spent the night across the delaware in trento nj with friends,going to my sisters in the morning,i still cant clear my head,even tho george has never been here,i see him everywhere,i thought this would be good therapy,it dosnt seem to be working,i feel guilty for leaving him,i mean it just dont seem right ,i keep waiting for him to call,like he did in 2006,when i was here last.i miss him so much.


(23 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Thank you everybody,i think im ok,social workers were here yesterday for 2 hours,barney and tressa,i loved it,i cant talk about george without crying,tressa said thats ok,cry,by the time they left,i was smiling,they said to me,even tho we did'nt know george that long,he left a lasting impression on them with his out going personality,george always made them laugh.well,now,a little on whats been going on with me,tonight i will be going to pa to visit some family,everybody says it will do me good,i am taking my computer,i wasnt going to,but,i guess george told me to because i started looking at dvd's,to play on my laptop for the 22hr trip on the train and i found one with our grandsons in the summer of 2009 playing with their grandpa george,i cried happy tears when i watched it,george was so healthy,laughing,and giving the boys a ride on the lawn mower,it was so good to hear his laugh,see his smile,and hearing him talk.....i miss him so much..more later got to pack,love you all big hugs and many blessings.Lynn


(23 replies, posted in Grief Management)

Thank you everybody,just wanted to let everybody know some things that happened since i posted last,well,i was doing some cleaning,just going through some totes we had,i had no clue what was in them,then i found pictures of george from years befor he got sick,wow,what a good feeling i got,i do believe i was led to that tote..Another thing,at 12:30 this morning,i was watching a movie,sitting in georges recliner,when all of the sudden i got this overwhelming urge to pop a bag of pop corn,thats not the strange part,the thing is,i CANT STAND pop corn,never really had a taste for it,could;nt even stand to be in the same room when it was popping,the smell just took my breath away,like asma,i could only think,ok,george loved his popcorn,especially while watching movies,and he was here with me and wanted some,yes,i did pop it and i ate the WHOLE bag....I guess my George got hungry...and ate through me..much love and hugs. lynn

i am trying so hard to cope,im trying so hard to think about the george befor he got sick,but all i see all day and night is the last precious week i had with him,it keeps playing like a dvd in my mind,it wont stop,i try to stay busy,but that dont last,i just curl up in his recliner and cry cry cry.....


(9 replies, posted in Members' Cafe)

A happy and healthy new year,and i want to thank each and everyone of you for all the support these last few months,and still continue to give,i dont know where i would be emotionally without you all.as time goes on,you will be seeing me more and more.Again,from the bottom of my heart,thank you all...Love  and hugs Lynn


(7 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

This Poem was read by georges nephew while we released 4 white doves.the first dove represented Georges spirit,the other three were for the father the son and the holy spirit.

                                 I'm Free

Don't grieve for me,for now i'm free.
I am following the path God has laid you see.
I took his hand when i heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
to laugh,to love,to work or play,
tasks left undone must stay that way,
i found that peace at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy's.
A friendship shared,a laugh,a kiss,
Oh yes,these things i too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full,i savored much,
good friends,good times,a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undo grief,
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee,
God wanted me now,he set me free..

                 In loving memory of
                    George Edward Driver Jr.
                   February 6 1950-December 14-2012

I held your hand as you took your last breaths with me,i hope i only made you feel comfort & peace in your journey to become my guardian angel. I love you with all my heart George

George passed away Friday December 14th.He took his last breath at noon..The last 4 monthe since his diagnosis,i would not trade for anything.On thursday,the 13th,i was wearing a tee shirt with a fairy on it,i was standing by his bedside,holding his hand,when sweet george slowely raised his hand and gently brushed the face of the fairy on my shirt with his finger.something i will never ever forget,and i will have that shirt until i die...

I close my eyes i see you,I open my eyes i miss you......,.

My heart is in pieces and tears are falling,my george went home at 12 noon.

things have changed the last 2 hrs,dont want to get into it,but i will say that miss kay was here,and ordered 24hr care,nurse will be here by 6..love you all,lynn.

Good morning ,well,we had a pretty restfull night,marions,keeping him uncovered off and on really helped,thank you for reassuring me it was ok,george slept much better,and when he got a little restless,i put a sheet over him.but this is what i wanted to tell you all,a few minutes ago,when i went to get my coffee,and go right back to george,wasnt gone 3 min,he was on his feet i dropped my coffee and too a giant leap to get him,and lay him back down,i ask him what are you doin,he whispered  i got to pee...when he had his gulbladder removed in may,i was there 24 7 taking care of him,so i would hold the bedside urinal thingy so he could go,basically that is what i have been doing for him now,he has an aduld diaper,and i know he dose not like it,so i started un doing it,and helpiing him like i did in may,hes much more comfortable well,more later love and hugs lynn

P.S.Lainy i was going to call you yesterday,i just got busy with everybody being here..i will try to call you later....

good evening everybody,we had quite an eventful early morning,and day.First,at 5am or so george sat up and hollered for his mom,he had his legs of the bed and he wanted to get up,i couldnt help i tried tho,he is so weak he couldnt,so he fell back on the bed  with his legs hanging off,i tried to get them back on the bed,his legs were just to heavy,i called hospice and told sandy whats going on and they send an aide right away,in the mean time,i wasnt giving up,i got georges legs back on the bed,his aide,David,oh what a god send he is awesome,now george wouldnt coperate with me at all,But with david,george was awesome,David is so good with him,even his sister thinks hes great,well,anyway,david stayed 2 hrs,bathed george,shaved him gave him a massage,he really relaxed him.mis kay got here just after david left,and the hospital bed was delivered this afternoon,its wonderful...georges sisters and brother spent the whole day with him,his brother even helped me change georges shirt.i am sitting right beside george while typing this,yawning and snoring,and now taking the covers off,gotta go for now,Love and hugs Lynn

i didnt call her,i gave george a sponge bath a few minutes ago,and it took so much out of him just to lift his legs so i could dress him,he was breathing hard like he ran a marathon,i lost it,i got him settled and lsft the room to have a good cry.his mother and i talked today and started making arrangements.its just been a very trying day...

i cant do this...im breaking im alone