ok well here I am again just needing to say i have been crying & crying my eyes out the past days, I know it is because of the holidays & my daddy loved spending Christmas with all the kids & grandchildren & dressing up as Santa was one of his favorites he used to say "he loved looking a lil ones faces" & seeing those eyes just flutter with excitement made it all worth while..But oh how I miss him. As the days have turned into 2 years its hard to believe, they say it gets easier but I say u just learn to live cause you have to. Because there are days that I just want to lay & hope this was all a bad dream, but I know it is not, it is just me missing him,. When I want someone to talk to I forget I cant run to him as i did my entire life. There are days im still angry he is gone, is this still normal? after 2 years.. Once again i needed someone to listen that understood. I hope & pray everyone is good..

Hugs

Martina

Darla,
Thank you for your love & hugs. I too am sincerely sorry for your loss, but as you like your husband the one thing that does console me is knowing he did not suffer for long. Also comforting to me because of our faith my daddy (only 67) accepted what ever GOD had chosen for him. I remeber him saying to me "Mija I love you, I do not want to leave you but but if this is what God wants I my time has expired on this earth then I shall join him" & for that I am grateful.  But as I say to everyone the human being I am "misses him soo much" I can't bare it some time. He was not only my daddy, he was my best friend, confidant, he would just listen unconditionaly. And being a single mother of 2 he was also my childrens father figure, he helped me with them from the time they were born. So needless to say they were devasted, (my daughter 21 at the time) closed her self off from everyone for 9 months (shes k now) she wont talk much of him, but is better. My son (16 at the time) was angry. So I think all this has made it even more difficult. But I am t6hankful for all the great memories. Sorry if i wrote so much, I just need someone who understands what I am going thru. Thank you for allowing me to vent.
smile Have a Beautiful Day!

Lainy thank you so much for your kind words, i especially liked your poem its similar to the one i had for my dad on his card (but in spanish). Yes i do live & smile because that is what Dad would have wanted, our faith is what gotten us thru everything. sometimes i just feel everything happened so fast we did not have enough time but at the same time i am grateful that we were able to be by his side till his last breath & we were able to say I Love U & we hae amazing memories. He left behind a great legacy, My mother (his wife ), myself & a sister, & 3 brothers, & 10 granchildren,.

Wow Kristin, as I listened to your story, I feel like I was reading mine. I too am new to this site, & am here to get support & understand what happened to my Dad in such a short time. I hope & pray you get all answers you want & need. keep your head up & try be STRONG for your DAD. Remember no matter what DRs say keep fighting looking for results & most of all make everyday count. Enjoy, have fun laugh cry (if u need too) with your dad. U R in my prayers.

Hi my name is Martina, & I recently started doing more research & came across this site. Here a lil about myself I am surviving daughter of my daddy that unfortunatley lost his 9week battle with this cancer on Octiber 8,2010. It has been a tough road. My daddy was a 67 yrs old healty (high blood pressur, type 2 diabetes) but overall healthy, saw his primary DR on a regular basis. Prior to being diagnosed he had seen his dr 1 week before that all tests (including liver), came back negative. So needless to say when he turned jaundis on us a week later & i took him to his Dr & tests came back positive for TUMOR & stage 3 we were all shocked, in disbelief, etc. The next p wks were much of a blur I was busy going from dr to dr to specialist traveling to Los Angeles from San Diego, Ca. to see specialist where we finally had hope after being turned down repeatedly for surgery, this Dr said he would but needed to get rid of yellow first & he needed to get stronger ( by now he was tired & weaker (this was month later)), he found a room available in the oncology dept.& was admitted, jaundis a stint was placed 4 days later & immediatley yellow began to disappear, ( San Diego was unsucessful at this attempt). My space running out will continue later. I just people who understand & try & give me answers. RIP DADDY FOREVER MISS YOU!