Thank you, Lainy.  I appreciate this so much.  I will email you off list.

My father was diagnosed with intrahepatic cholangiocarcinoma just a year ago at the age of 87.  He sailed through 2 Y90 treatments, and has managed a number of issues.  He is now in Hospice care, with ascites being the most problematic issue.  Staff have advised us that he is too weak to bear having the fluid drained, as the decrease in fluid could cause a drop in his blood pressure, and the inevitable return of the fluid could cause him more discomfort than what he has now.  Thankfully, he is not experiencing any pain.  But he is increasingly confused and sleepy.  So I'm thinking that the build up of fluid is affecting his brain.  So this is my question.  Is this the end?  Will he simply drift off into a coma and slip away painlessly?  I'm thinking that would be preferable to some of the other eventualities.  Maybe I am just being naive?  How long can he go on like this?  I'm not trying to hasten his death, but I don't want to prolong it either.  How can you hope/pray for your own father's death?

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(9 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Thanks, Lainy!

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Update on my Dad.

Thanks again to all who replied to my initial message.  I felt IMMEASURABLY better after hearing from you.  Dad's glucose levels are under control, thanks to about 3 insulin shots a day.  It seems excessive in some ways, but since he was not diabetic before, I suspect that it is due to his pancreas failing more than "regular" diabetes.  His kidneys are compromised, and he is having some bloating.  His latest issue is feeling the urge to urinate but not being able to.  Could this be part of the bloating, which I assume is ascites?  Or is this likely to be something else, such as a urinary tract infection?  The doctor is supposed to see him today, but I wanted to have an idea from y'all so that I can be prepared for what I might hear.

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Thank you so much, Gavin.  I appreciate your kind words.

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Yes, PCL, that is what I am beginning to think.  Will be there tomorrow, and will track down a doctor.

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Thank you, Lainy.  I guess we are all feeling like we might have started hospice too soon.  But my Mom can't handle him by herself, and I am 10 hours away.  I will treasure the good times we are sure to have and be thankful he isn't in pain.  It isn't too soon, I know, but when he is feeling good he doesn't realize how sick he is.  Thanks for your kind words.  They mean a lot.

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(9 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Hello all.  My sweet father was diagnosed in March with a stage 1 intrahepatic tumor.  Even though he was 87 at the time, he went through y90 treatments and did remarkably well.  He has no pain, but is beginning to decline.  Due to several falls (he doesn't seem to have the strength to keep himself upright) he went to the ER.  His sugar numbers were through the roof, although he was not diabetic until now.  And his kidneys are shutting down.  He is resting comfortably in a nursing home, and we have already begun hospice.  He is very alert most days, which breaks our hearts, but we are trying to make the most of our remaining time.  I've read through some of the posts on this site, and almost all talk about the horrible pain.  Is this something that Dad will eventually have, or since his CC  is primary and the tumor is small could it be that he won't have to face that particular challenge?  My heart goes out to each and every one of you!