I'm still very sad and miss my beloved mother so much. I don't enjoy anything, going out and exercising. I'm not trying to gain pity but my life has come to a standstill. My mother was the love of my life. Now my aunt is is going to turn 87 but in good health so she says. She' s in Iran and as a U.S. Citizen it's not safe for me to go there. I went to see my mother on November 25th
and I was questioned for an hour. I could hear my heart beating in my throat and thought I would be put in prison, but I got through.
I only felt safe for 2 nights in the hospital when I was with my beloved mother. My cousin who lies, did not allow me to stay the third night and the next day she was in ICU and I was only allowed to stay with her once a day from 3-4 PM. They didn't even check her IV. The next day she was on life support and I wrote if she wanted to live like that and she wrote no. Then she wrote twice(which was hard to read) "Take me home if you love me" but I couldn't. If you take someone off of life support how long does it take to die? I feel so guilty about that. She wanted to be surrounded by the family by unfortunately she died alone. I feel so guilty and I dislike my two cousins who lied to both my mother and I plus they stole all her valuables in Paris while she was in the hospital before going to Iran. If my cousins would have told me that she had cancer I would have never let her go there because this is an incurable disease so far. They didn't even tell my mother because they didn't want her to be depressed. Ivy cousins are hateful people with black hearts. They even stole her money and forged her check.
When I left that horrific country feeling like I wanted to die, I went to Paris and took all her documents and the Deed. She tried to become a French citizen because she lived in Paris for 11 years, change her last name to me beloved mother's name and hire a lawyer so that she could claim that she was her child and inherit the apartment. They refused to give me her death certificate so I had to go through the State Department because my mother was also a U.S. Citizen. I finally got it and also had it translated in French and notarized by the French Embassy in Iran. This took 4 months, lots of emails and phone calls. Finally when I received it, I was able to process it as I had the Will and copies of her passports. My cousins are extremely rich and rent an apartment instead of buying one.
I still have nightmare's of Iran, seeing my mother yellow and so sick and telling me she wasn't going to get well. She passed away three days later and I had to bury her with totally freaked me out. My cousin and an official rushed to the cemetery while I was covered in my scarf in the back of the car and crying my eyes out. When her body was buried, I wanted to throw myself into her grave, head first.
I lost a lot of money when selling her studio as I had to lower the price and pay 38% inheritance fee. My family made me pay $10,000for her funeral. Prior to that we had not spoken for a year but finally my Aunt called as she raised me. So I sent it for my beloved mother. My cousins are "poison." I tried to make friends but I could never tell if they were telling me the truth or not and then when I asked what she did with the $10,000 she accused me of hurting her. So I never want to talk to her again. She never liked me and has anger issues.
My mother and I always spoke English to each other and we both hated Iran. So she sent me off to a boarding school in Europe and was very private.
When I was in Iran, I was so scared thinking that they would find out that I was American, and I couldn't read any of their Billboards or street names and the traffic and smog was awful. I almost kissed the ground when I arrived in Chicago for my transfer. The TSA questioned me and was only there for 5 minutes - the last thing they told me was they were surprised I got in and out.
So it's so hard to forget what my mother looked like when she was deadly sick, burying her the Muslim way when she always believed in Jesus and being I a horrible country.. She passed away on November 29, 2012, and I'm still suffering from everything .