Hello wonderful people of cc.org
I have been following this site for almost a year and a half since my grandmother, Nana, was diagnosed. My mom is summergirl and I know she has found this site very helpful. For all of you who have offered her information and support I thank you.
I find myself turning to this site as I live in Los Angeles, Nana is in Baton Rouge, and I just need someone to talk to who knows about this monster. I have traveled back home once month every month since October. Twice in the last three weeks. I am struggling with the guilt of not being there full time and the exhaustion of flying, crying, screaming, pacing, and all that jazz. We are a very small family and I am the only one missing. I fear that I won't be there when she passes and I fear that she'll keep holding on until I'm there again.
My Nana has been up and down and sideways and this nightmare just keeps spiraling. One day we think it's the last and then the next day she wakes up, eats and drinks. Everyday is the same and every day is different. Friday she thought she had died, Saturday she was practically comatose with no eating or drinking and then yesterday she woke up and wanted King cake and Dr. Pepper. This uncertainty is unsettling for us all.
Anyway. Thoughts on how all this goes? I mean in three weeks she has practically died twice, thought she had been cremated, realized she wasn't, eaten and not eaten, could suck through a straw and not suck through a straw, etc. etc. etc.
Thanks for reading. I'm so sorry for the fact that you understand.