Hi all, I just wanted to let you all know that my dad passed away yesterday evening. He fought a really hard fight and it was heart breaking to see him not being able to eat properly. He was just so weak towards the end that he didn't have the strength even to stand up on his own. He did not spend any time in hospital (apart from when he had his biliary stent) and we did not involve the Macmillan nurses or the hospice. My dad stayed at home the whole time and we had community nurses who came out and changed his fluids (we had him on subcutaneous fluids right up until the very end) which helped keep him more comfortable. He also didn't have any pain that needed morphine or sedation of any kind, so he was able to talk to us during waking periods, although he slept a lot towards the end.
I prayed for him to go towards the end because he was so weak and finding it so hard and he still had vomiting which took an awful lot out of him. My dad had wanted to stay at home and so at least he got his wish. The doctor had wanted to admit him to hospital as he was severely dehydrated, but he would then have come home again and been back to square one - they also, at this late stage talked about a stent to relieve the bowel obstruction, but this would have meant travelling to a different hospital and then having invasive procedures carried out, and by this time, he was just far too weak. He made the decision himself to stay at home and have subcut fluids, which actually did help and the dehydration did settle to a large extent, but of course, he was still not getting any adequate intake of food.
My dad was an absolutely amazing man right up to his last breath. He didn't once complain and he always had a smile. I am so proud of him and will miss him so much. He is still at home with us now, as in our family (we are catholic) our loved ones stay at home until they leave to go to their final resting place. He looks very peaceful now and I am glad that he is now free of his suffering.
Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and I am sorry I haven't posted sooner, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything during the last week and a half or so, because each day, I saw my dad getting progessively worse and couldn't understand how anyone could go through so much and yet still be fighting.
take care, God bless, Mags