I have been following many of these posts throughout the year reading and learning about this tragic illness and each and every one of your experiences. Although I want to encourage everyone to continue fighting and staying strong, I thought it would be appropriate to post that my beautiful mother passed away on December 4th. I have yet to come to terms with her passing, it happened so suddenly (which in one way is a blessing; they were going to give her more iv's/insert a catheter etc) and I never got the opportunity to really say good bye (she was in and out of consciousness) and to learn about her final wishes. My mom was young at the time of her passing, 46 years old to be exact, and wanted to live more than anything in this world. Even during her final moments she fought for her last breath and in fact the morning of she was able to stand on her own two feet and swallow food/water.
So with a heavy heart, I am writing to all of you for a number of reasons. Many of you on this forum completely avoid the topic of death (which is understandable as we did the same) but now looking back at this situation I had wished I spent a little more time talking about end of life with my mom, learning about her wishes, and just preparing somewhat for a goodbye. Although she is in my heart forever I know that it might have bee a little easier for her had I let her know that my brother and I were going to be okay (we lost our father in a car accident many years ago and my brother is now 18) as I know that was her biggest concern. Every night before bed she would tell me that she would pray to god to not separate her from her children and so now a part of me wishes I could've brought her that comfort of knowing that we were going to be okay. Although I was by her side as she took her final breath and communicated that it was okay to let go I felt that had we discussed "death" it might've given me more closure. I know many of you are parents on this forum and I have read about some of your concerns regarding your children, and although I am in no position to tell anyone what to do or how to live their lives I feel as though it is a very important subject to discuss because you never know what tomorrow may bring. My mom was such a fighter and even though I knew she wasn't doing so well, it was just so unthinkable to imagine life without her that when it happened I realized I missed a lot of signs etc.
Also, I wanted to share something with all of the newcomers to this site and for those that were recently diagnosed. My mom was a stage 4 ICC patient that had a 9x8cm tumour and had lymph node involvement which later spread to her lungs. She did very well on gem/cis and then the cancer came back in action which led to a very diseased liver, her trying Xeloda etc. In November we decided to pursue natural medicine, but at that time it was to late. We met some incredible naturopaths in Toronto and for those of you that are living in Ontario, Canada I would urge you all to contact me at email@example.com so that I can share some of the things I learned throughout my journey with my mother and possibly help someone else. We were using cannabis oil, vitamin c iv's and DCA … the naturpath that she was seeing had incredible results for pancreatic and bile duct patients so please do not hesitate to reach out to me.
Thank-you to everyone who helped answer some of my questions on this forum and I wish each of you a life full of happiness, love, and health (first and far most). Please try to enjoy your lives and your families as much as possible, go on the vacations you always wanted to go on, see your friends, etc because you never know what tomorrow may bring. Once again, best of luck to all of you and should any of you have any questions or would just like to talk please feel free to reach out to me.