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(4 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Hello Everyone,

I have not posted for a while, I took a little trip (2 week trip ended in a 4 week trip) that was to be taken with my dad before he became very ill. I went to Mexico where my dad had just finished a beautiful home. I had much peace while I was there I did not want to leave the house! I know my dad was there!!!

Funny thing is I had a hysterectomy due to cancer in September 2012, right at the time that my dads CC came back, during this time I also had gallbladder surgery in November 2012....I have been a mess since physically and emotionally.  Im sure that going thru all we did with my dad didn't help at all....anyways what I'm getting at is that I have had so many issues with my stomach since gallbladder surgery not sure If i was better off dealing with it!!!!! The point is while I was visiting my dads house in Mexico I was sympton free!!!! Since I have returned back home I have been ready to go to ER several times....for gallbladder pain that I no longer have! Anyways.....

Well it will be 4 months since my dad passed on July 19....I miss him sooo much, how I wish I could have one more hug or hear his voice or even have one of his famous BBQ's in this 110 degree weather!!!!!  He was the rock of our family..... It will be his Birthday on July 31 he would have been 62. I plan to celebrate his birthday at my house and have my sisters and brother over and celebrate his life. Although I have to say it's been very difficult to see his pictures lately I get very sad and cry when no one can see me...


Thank you everyone for your ongoing support you have all truly become a part of my life. Even when I am not posting I am here hanging around!

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(16 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

Pam,

I am so deeply saddened to hear about Lauren. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.


Sincerely,
Angie

3

(27 replies, posted in Thought for the Day)

Hello Everyone....

I have not checked in for a while but I do come and visit the site often! This family will always me a part of me....

As time begins to pass since my dads passing, I find myself always looking for a sign from him and of course when I least expect it there here is...A couple weeks ago my sister and I were visiting family, we were standing outside as we looked up there was a humming bird flying right above in between my sister and I!!! We knew it was DAD!!!

My father passed away on Tuesday March 19 at 1:50pm.....He was admitted to Hospice In Patient on March 11. We could not manage his anxiety at home and he agreed to go. He was still aware but not talking to us anymore. On Friday March 15 early morning he fell to his knees in pain as he could no longer fight this battle. He very rarely complained of pain and that night was the worst we had experienced he then was given Pain meds every hour until the pain was managed, by Saturday morning he could not eat as he could no longer swallow. His pain and anxiety meds had to be given with needles in his arms and his Leg. From this point forward it was truly devasting to see what he went thruough. We were then told it could be a few hours to a couple of days before he passed and to be prepared. From day one that he was admitted we never left my dad alone my mom, brother and sisters we would rotate around the clock to be with him. My dads mom, 2 brothers and sister were also there around the clock once we were told it could happen at anytime.

On Tuesday morning we all rotated to go home and shower. My mom brother and sisters we had all made it back by Noon...There was a volunteer who was playing the harp we asked if she could play a song for my dad, she started with amazing grace it was so peaceful I can't even explain it she played a few songs for us we cried as we knew his time was getting very close. Shortly after the volunteer played the harp about 12:40pm my dad made a loud sound as if he had pain when he breathed in right after that his breathing completley changed he had no rattle, they became quiet and calm almost as if he finally began to breath with no pain and peacefully as he took his last breath at one 1:50pm.

Words cannot describe how scared I was as to what I was about to experience with my dad but his last hour so peacefully that even though I cried because he was gone it was a true previlige to be with him in his final hours.

We had an uncle who also passed while my dad was in hospice my grandmothers brothers his viewing was on Tuesday at 6pm my dad passed at 1:50pm, we attended as my cousins came to support us after their dad had passed on my dads final days it was extremely difficult. But if my mom and grandmother were strong enough I had to be there for them.

Now as we are planning my Dads Funeral I am so scared, nervous and I feel that I will not be able to bear the pain of saying a final Good Bye next week.

I miss you Dad....But I know you are in a better place, cured and free of pain!

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(11 replies, posted in In Remembrance)

With deepest sympathy...I am so sorry for your loss.

My heart aches for you as I am seeing how we are slowly losing my dad to this cancer.

"God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered "Come to Me." With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best."

- Author Unknown

I read this poem and wanted to share. Thinking of my mom with great admiration who has been my dads main caregiver she is truly amazing.

And all the amazing caregivers who give endlessly for our loved ones!

by Bruce McIntyre

Unknown and often unnoticed, you are a hero nonetheless.
For your love, sacrificial, is God at his best.
You walk by faith in the darkness of the great unknown,
And your courage, even in weakness, gives life to your beloved.

You hold shaking hands and provide the ultimate care:
Your presence, the knowing, that you are simply there.
You rise to face the giant of disease and despair,
It is your finest hour, though you may be unaware.

You are resilient, amazing, and beauty unexcelled,
You are the caregiver and you have done well!

Rebecca,

Please accept my condolences for your loss…Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead and loving memories of your mom to forever hold in your heart.

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(17 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Notdoneyet,

I am so sorry for what you are going thru as well. It is extremely difficult to see them go thru this. Enjoy all those good days where he is strong and feeling good! They are amazing strong people and we have been blessed to have them in our life's until they are ready to leave.

I just wanted to say I have been there many times in these last few months. As my dad has had up and down days, I have felt so guilty for asking God to please give him his peace and end his journey if he cannot be healed. Then he bounces right back with all this energy and we are truly blessed to have another precious day with him.

I was wondering why are they doing the Plurex catheter on your son at this time?

If you need to talk please I am here as well.

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(17 replies, posted in Introductions!)

I will definitely call you...is there a good time? I am going to get ready to visit my dad and drain the fluid...He likes to have it done early he keeps us in check if we don't follow his schedule! I love that about him more now than ever before...

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(17 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Thank you for your replies.

It is so nice to read everyone's replies and outlook on things I definitely needed this!

I live in Glendale, Arizona my dad is with Hospice of the Valley. My parents are only a couple of miles away. My mom is his main caregiver and we are seeing the toll it has taken on her we are 5 siblings and we are all doing what we can to help my mom my dad is 62 years. He was such a strong and hard working man, now he is so weak and fragile....

These last three months have been a roller coaster of emotions. Although I know we all have to go sometime its not easy to think you wont be able to hug him, have the BBQ's that he loved, he prepped our turkey for Thanksgiving dinner every year!  I do understand that when he is ready to go he will leave us,  I have seeing him fight this battle so hard. I only want him to have peace and no more pain.

These last couple of days he has been very restless and experiencing a little more pain, he is still eating not a lot though. My mom has had to give him more pain med and anxiety medication to help him keep calm and free of pain. For sometime now he has had this glossy look in his eyes where he stares and it seems as if hes looking right pass you. Its so scary to see those changes in him.

Family is a great support system (mom, siblings, spouses) outside family can be hard to deal with at times. As they cannot understand how there is no more treatment options avail. I have tried to educate them but I sometimes  feel like I go in circles with them!!!

Again thank your kind words and support it has been much needed.

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(17 replies, posted in Introductions!)

Hello Everyone,

I first visited this site back in July of 2010 when my dad was first diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma. I have since visited the site a couple of times and I finally decided to write.... My dad is still alive  but he is in the final stage of his cancer. It has been a difficult road but especially these past three months. My dad is currently in hospice care they visit him 3 times a week.

On November 18, 2012 after several hospitalizations his cancer Dr. told us there was nothing else that he could do for my dad. His cancer has metastasized in the Hilum of the liver. He has very bad ascites and has to be drained on a daily basis now, he has a plurex catheter so he does not have to be poked each time. The Plurex catheter was placed after he had internal bleeding after one of the paracentesis,  he was on a blood thinner for a blood clot in the liver due to the TIPS procedure.

He has lost a lot of weight but he is sooo swollen from his belly down to his toes it is truly heart breaking to see him go through this yet he is the one who gives me the strength to be strong for him!

My heart goes out to everyone who is and has gone through this with a loved one.