My sincerest sympathy goes out to you. The death of a loved one is difficult at any age for any cause. The death of your child, however, is the the worst trauma a parent can endure. I know.
Some of the best advice I received after my son died was not to put any expectations of myself. As time moves forward you will understand why this is important advice. Just deal with whatever comes in whatever way is best for YOU. Not placing expectations on yourself is actually a gift you give yourself.
My son died unexpectedly from an addiction. He was 26. I will never get over having lost him, but I must tell you that in 2 1/2 years time I have come to rely on the sweetest memories of him to get through each day. He was a joyful, carefree, sweet, kind, funny, smart, creative and loving human being. He brought a smile to everyone's face and now those memories of my precious son bring a smile to my face inspite of not having him here with me. Truth be told, sometimes it feels more bittersweet, but it's sweet none the less. I am in a place now where I can feel gratitude for having had him for 26 years.
Please accept a warm virtual HUG from one parent to another.
I'm new on this site and I came here because my mom and my cousin both died from cholangiocarcinoma.