Topic: My mom

My mom left us yesterday at 5:16pm just over three months after her diagnose with CC.  I'm extremely sadden by my loss but I know that she is at a place of peace, forever happiness and without pain.  I already feel a huge void and numbness in my heart... I sure miss her. 

Jeeyoung

Re: My mom

Dearest Jeeyoung,I am so very sorry to read about your Mom. I know that you know she is in a Healthy and Happy place but will always be watching over her Jeeyoung. I always say Mothers do not leave their children and she will be your angel for eternity. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.

Letter from Heaven  by Ruth Ann Mahaffey

To my dearest family some things I'd like to say
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay,
I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I shall dwell with God above
Here, there's no more tears of sadness. Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I'm out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you,
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you
And when you lie in bed at night, the days chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you . . in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
One thing is for certain though my life on earth is o'er
I'm closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb
Together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind
And when it's time for you to go . . from that body to be free
Remember you're not going . . you're just coming here to me.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

so sorry  sad

Re: My mom

Jeeyoung,

I am so very sorry to hear about your dear Mom.  I wish I had something to say to take away the pain and emptiness you must be feeling right now.  Please accept my sincerest condolences.  I hope that your wonderful memories will soon replace the sadness you are feeling now.

Hugs,
-Randi-

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

As a mother, I am saddened for you, knowing that at some point I will be gone also, leaving behind my own daughter and her new son to grieve as you do now. In the midst of your pain remember her love for you and be grateful for having had her as your mother for all these years.

In Strength & Peace
kaklon

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear mum. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I know that there are no words right now to say that would help ease your pain. We are all here for you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung,

I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing.  You have my deepest sympathy and understanding.  Yes, take some comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain or suffering and is a peace.   My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family at this sad and trying time.  Know that we are here for you and truely do care.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung,

I am so sorry to read that your mum has died.  There is nothing I can say that will make this better but please take care of yourself and the rest of your family.

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung,

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mom.  I know that this is a very difficult time for you.  I hope in time you can remember the good times with her and feel her presence around you.

Peace & Hugs,
Mary

Re: My mom

Jeeyoung,
I'm so sorry. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Mother.
Sincerely, Willow

Willow

Re: My mom

I have to say that Cholangiocarcinoma.org has been my source of comfort, support and information throughout my experience with this horrible disease... I thank all members of the board.

It has been almost 5 days without her... I'm taking day by day as it passes.  I hope to see my mom in my dreams..........

Thank you and wishing you the best to everyone,

Jeeyoung

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung, you are going to be fine, you know, 5 days is not enough time at all after a lifetime with a Parent. It will get better because your Mom would want it too. I have no doubt you will not only see Mom in dreams you will begin to feel her all around you.  BE OPEN IN YOUR THINKING AND BE ALERT, SHE IS THERE. I know she is so very proud of you, give yourself time everything will happen in due course!
Stay in touch and wishing you the very best.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

Dear Jeeyoung,

Thank you for what you say. And I know how you feel right now as I felt like that after I lost my dad as well. It is a tough time as you know, very tough in fact but it does get better over time. You did everything that you possibly could for your mum and like Lainy says, she will be very proud of you. And yes, taking things one day at a time sounds like the right thing to me. We are all here for you.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: My mom

Jeeyyoung,
As one who was caretaker and lost my Dad almos a month ago, I can tell you that the adrenaline and purpose wear off. Emotions all over the map...lately I feel impatient with others and often feel desperate to do things that are an 'escape' or a distraction. With responsibilities, its not easy but try to do things that lift your spirits...like get outside and accept offers from friends to get together. as you may find, I'm finding that my grief is coming out in the strangest ways! The trauma of being with someone through the end stages of an illness is profound. I try to think of it as part of life and am relieved knowing Dad isn't suffering  now. Now my grief and anger turn toward my sisters fight against stage 4 CC . Feel I'm holding breath waiting for what might be instead of enjoying each day she's doing well! Her cancer at age 50 is much harder to accept than dads alzheimers (he was almost 90), though the hands on caring for him for past 3 years was so difficult. its strange to suddenly not have that role.
Take extra special care of yourself, Jeeyoung, and know how much your Mom loves you.
Willow

Willow

Re: My mom

Thank you Lainy, thebompie4, Randi, kaklon, Gavin, Darla, Clare, Mary, Willow and all other members who have read my posts.. and offered support, comfort, encouragement and care.  I really appreciate it.

I find myself keep lurking aroung this site.. hoping to find some comfort in others journey and connecting with others in the similar experience.. it was my daily ritual being on this site for last few months..  I hope you don't mind that I do and I will for some time..

Today marks one week of my mom's departure... my husband, kids and I will be hiking up to the Papago Peaks to release 7 white balloons (representing 7 decades of my mom's life here ) to remember her and to say our goodbyes at 5:16pm.  My family members afar will be also joining us at the same time wherever they are (New York, Ohio and Korea) when the balloons are released.  Perhaps one of these balloons will float towards where she is now, to let her know how much all of us love and miss her.

Jeeyoung

Re: My mom

Jeeyoung, you stick around with us as long as you like, you are welcome. You may be helping someone else with an idea or decision, I have found it the best way to Pay it Forward! You are NOT a lurker you are Family. At 516PM I will turn to the Papago MTNS and see if I can see anything. That will become a  beautiful Memory! Of course your Mother will see and know and may even grab one for herself. It is only a short time that Mom has gone to the other room, you must give yourself time. We WILL get together when I get back. Perhaps Tempe Marketplace for lunch? Its a good meeting point. Take care of yourself now, we will talk soon.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

I am so sorry for your loss.  It's a monster of a disease and many people haven't heard of Bile Duct Cancer because it's so rare, like 1% of the population, and growing apparently.  I lost my mother 8 months ago and I'm still crying every day and missing her so much.  She was my world and was the only person I had. Though my mother looked like an actress and was so beautiful both physically and emotionally, even at the age of 83 1/2, it was hard to believe how much CC changed her face,  as she was yellow, one side of her face was paralyzed (did not have a stroke) and her left eye was shut as the cancer had jumped behind her eye.  It was a devastating and took her life in 8 weeks.  I was grateful to be able to be with her 5 days before she passed but was upset that I wasn't with her in ICU when she passed away.  She wanted to go home but there was no way we could unplug anything!  I'm on anti-depressants to help me through each hour, trying to keep myself busy and biking . 

I have not seen my Mama in my dreams because her spirit is with me in my heart and she's waiting for me to join her once my time is up on earth.  That's my hope that keeps me going that I will one day join her forever.  I know she's watching over me like your mother is and is also with you spiritually.

I'm glad you found this site, just like I was, and there's a lot of wonderful people who can identify and give support.

Bless you.

Desiree

Re: My mom

Desiree,
Thank you very much for your supportive words and I'm truly sorry for the loss of your mother as well.  We are going through toughest time in our lives and and feeling profound pain.  My mom has been gone almost two months (tomorrow) and there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of her.  My sorrow comes in waves and can't predict what will trigger.  I'm moving through the days.. Some are easier than others.. Especially when I'm busy.  My family and work keeps me busy...they support me when I need them and I know in my eart that my mom is always here right beside me and she would not want me to fall apart.  She would want me to live my life to its fullest.  So I try each day with tears and all...I don't think we will ever get over our losses... We just move through each stage and hopefully eventually our hearts will be filled with beautiful memories of our moms instead of the last days of their lives...  I still talk about my mom as if she is still in this world...   Please if you ever want to talk or share your pain.. I will be here.

Take good care and what you are going through is normal...let yourself grieve for your loss... You will be Ok...eventually...

With my deepest sympathy,

Jeeyoung

Re: My mom

Hi Jeeyoung. Did you have the tree Ceremony yet? You know I am available if you want to get together. Sending you much love and big hugs!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

Jeeyoung....I just love the idea of releasing balloons from all over in honor of your dear Mom. It is such a wonderful thought that I am wondering whether this could be something our global patient community could duplicate in that we release balloons at a specific day in honor of everyone ever touched by this cancer. 
My heart is with you and your family.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: My mom

Marion that is it!!!!!!!!  I LOVE the idea and maybe we could do it for February,,,CC,,month. We could sell the balloons for a minimal amount and mail them out. Someone could volunteer to do the mail out. All we need then is to contact some media! We set a date and time and make it the first ever Round the World Balloon Fest for CC. Oh I am loving this idea. Well, that woke me up for today.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

Lainy....great thoughts. We have a volunteer for mailout, we are lucky to have some wonderful people devoting their time to the foundation.  Next, and that I had not thought of, is the CCF logo printed on the balloons.  But possibly the company that provides our T-shirts and other things could also print CCF on the balloons? 
Does anyone else have any thoughts on this?  Lainy and I are running with this.  Thanks Jeeyoung; all this is due to your sweet Mom.

Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: My mom

Marion....done!  I didn't know we had a mail person....yea! All we need is a date and a time that would be good the world over and most important of all perhaps we have a couple of Members who can reach the Media. We might even add this:  A member in each of our areas/States here and countries abroad, to organize people from their area to arrange a site and put out some kind of Ads  for their area. Like a group leader for each State so to speak. I believe this could all be done with minimal expense and bring us great attention and exposure.  We have the States, Korea, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, Italy, Greece, Sweden, Germany, Romania, Holland, Spain, Russia and I am sure I missed some. Once everyone has released the balloons depending on the time of day, each 'Captain' may get local businesses to provide some eats. OMG someone stop me I can't stop myself!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My mom

Ha, ha, Lainy; this is so you.  Media is great however; we may gain their attention anyway due to hundreds of balloons floating around in the world.  Keep it coming. 
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: My mom

OMG! I am out of breath. I just helped Robin plan a fund raiser for her place of worship yesterday. They have a choir of 140 so I suggested Tunes of Broadway. I am stoked on Balloons. And everyone of them will float up to our loved ones. We can have our Logo and colors and CC on them but the project could tie in our loved ones like, "Balloons for Heaven". That is corny but you know what I mean. I got so excited it perked me up to make up a dish for dinner. Shrimp and asparagus in a spicy sauce over a little Pasta! Smells good.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.