I can see that you are rehashing a lot of what happened to your mother to make sense of it. Unfortunately, we cannot change the past and ruminating about it takes the joy out of life as I am sure you know. I am glad that you are on medications for your anxiety and depression, being monitored by a psychiatrist, and joined a support group. Those are all positive things that will help you deal with your sadness and loneliness.
And France! I guess they have good wine, but those laws about inheritance seem crazy!
As for your family, I agree with Lainy that worrying about them is just hurting you. I once read that holding on to anger is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die. It just hurts you over and over.
I hope that your Mom makes her presence known to you soon.
Survivor of breast cancer (1994), thyroid cancer (1999), cholangiocarcinoma (2009).
My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.