Topic: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Hello Everyone,
Today is a very painful day as we relive this time last year when my husband was called to eternal life.  I have not been on these discussion boards as it brings far too many memories.  My children have still got a long way to go in their grief and for me some days are good and others pretty awful.  I often feel he was taken too early and am still angry as I feel the medical faculty worked on him very slowly.  They took their own time to do things with his treatment.  Anyway please pray for the boys and  myself.  I had tried to send several e-mails to Lainy but they keep coming back.  All the best to everyone going through this terrible cancer.  My prayers are with you.  God Bless  Phil

Greetings to Marions, Percy, Gavin and Darla.  All the best

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Hi Santineerp,
I'm very sorry for losing your husband, Phil with this horrible disease.  You and your boys are in my thoughts as I understand how hard it is to live your life without your loved one who moved on.  Take good care of yourself.

big hugs to you,

Jeeyoung

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Phil...Lainy will be sure to e-mail you back.  I know because; we have talked about you, worried about you and are always thinking of you.  I am sure that she will be on real soon. 
Know that my heart is with you in this difficult time.  I know, I have been there.  Although my children are older, my youngest still is struggling with the loss of his Dad.  I had numerous plans in place in order to help them move forward - some worked - others failed, but I must share with you that we adapt to even the most difficult of circumstances.  Although, at times our resiliance seems to be waning, we are moving forward - one day at a time.
Please know that we are here for you and if you prefer to reach out to individuals only; click on the name in the signature box (left side of posting) and personal e-mail will appear.  Don't hold back, dear Phil.  We are here to help each other now and forever.

Hugs,
Marion

marion.schwartz@cholangiocarcinoma.org

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

4 (edited by Lainy Tue, 23 Jul 2013 14:48:34)

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Sweet Phil...here I am! I am so very sorry for what you and the boys are going through. I have not forgotten what you went through but you are never going to find Peace if you don't let go of what we can do nothing about. No one grieves the same but I can say from experience , when you hang on the the bad the good cannot come through.  I had to do the same thing and that pain does get dimmer in time. I so wish you could turn that energy in to trying to see things that will show you that he is still all around you. It brings so much comfort. I am going to email you what to look for and you can make the boys the Captains of looking for Dad. I actually thought about you a few days ago and am so glad you wrote to us. Phil, I wrote this poem about 6 months after Teddy passed.
How Are You Doing?

Everyone asks me how I’m doing since you went away,
With a smile on my face I say, “I really am okay”.
Matter of fact its very hard but I promised to be strong,
Until the time we meet again, in your arms where I belong.

In the morning when I wake, once where there was warmth all night,
There’s nothing but an empty space and a pillow to hold tight.   
Our closet now holds all my clothes it still looks kind of strange,
I try to make it look like more and constantly rearrange.

When I’m in the kitchen and working at the sink,
Many times I stop and this is what I think…..
If Teddy was here he’d grab me to give a little cue,
That he was about to hug me and say his, “I love you”.

No more are the corny jokes that grew longer by the year,
What I wouldn’t give now for just one more, to hear.
When someone calls, your message is still kept on the phone,
That way no one knows I am really home alone. 

When day is over and dinner is eaten by one, 
No more thank you-s for the meal well done.
Don't have anyone to scratch my back,
There’s just a big hole here, a hole of midnight black.

But, how am I doing? I’m doing okay,
I know that you would want it that way.
And I know you are with me morning to night,
Still watching over me, that every things all right!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Hello once again,
Thank you for your kind words, it means so much to the boys and me.  I think initially I was so strong and now I seem to be strong one day and weak the next but I am getting there.  My boys are trying very hard, hopefully in a few more months we will start feeling much better.  We are trying very hard. 
The boys miss their Dad and I miss my hubby. I have started my bereavement counseling again, hopefully this time it would make a difference.  Your words of encouragement strengthened me.  Thank you and God bless.  Phil

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Help Phil, that sounds better to me. We will take every other day, can't ask for more than that right now. Did you get my email? I sent it through this site.
Please let us know how you are doing at times you are up to it, we still care!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: First Death Anniversary of my dearest Husband

Hi, Phil,

I am sorry for the continuous sufferings of you missing your dear husband.

Your love for him were very obvious  to me in the emails that you send to me.
You mostly asked me about the medical stuff, but deep down I knew you were concern about your husband more than just medical but concern as being a wife and mother of two boys and the future of missing your husband being not there to take care of what will be left over.
Phil, you know I am a patient like your husband, and I always thank you for keeping in touch with me and keeping an eye on my condition. I appreciated.

The thing I want to say is that, eventually life is like a jig saw puzzle, piece by piece,minutes by minutes and finally you will get it all figure out nicely of what you will accomplish. I am a man of a few words to my wife because she does not want to know the details, may be the same way is your husband too, He wants to protect you away from the reality of having  the cancer news  and did not want you to worry about his situation too much .  .To me, that is a kind of tough love that men sometimes sought to do ;they try not to worry to much about it in front of you and the kids, but,as a patient and a father of four and husband of my wife, I know he worried about you and the kids in his heart more than  anythings else. He was a   good husband and father.and  I appreciated you letting  him do whatever he wants evenyou knew  he was sick after the diagnosis with this disease.
Take care of yourself, Phil. you have a warm and kind heart that God will always keep an eye for you and your two boys.
Keep in touch.
God bless.

Please know that my personal opinion is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If  provided, information are for educational purposes.Consult doctor is a MUST for changing of treatment plans.