Topic: Some Help on What to Say to a Loved One w/CC

Saw this article this morning and thought it pretty good:

Follow their lead. If you aren't sure what to talk about, just ask. Chances are your loved one wants want to feel as normal as possible. Don't assume your loved one can’t handle an open, honest discussion.

Don't minimize their experience. Try not to say things like "Don't worry, you'll be fine." You don't know that. Instead say, "I'm really sorry" or "I’m here for you."

Stay connected. Cancer can be lonely and isolating. Don’t avoid your loved one because you don’t know how to handle the situation. You can say things like: “You are not alone in this, I’m here for you,” or “I love you and we will get through this together.” It's even okay to say "I don't know what to say.”

Stop and listen. Sometimes just listening to your loved one, without judgment, is the best thing you can do. You don't always have to fix everything. Your loved one may not want to talk at all, and would rather sit quietly. It's okay to sit in silence.
Don’t preach to them. Everyone does cancer his/her own way.

Don't tell your loved one what to think, feel or how to act. Avoid saying things like: “Stay positive,” or “Keep fighting.” If your loved one gets worse, you don’t want him/her to feel that he/she didn't fight hard enough.

Accept bad days. At times, your loved one may be depressed, angry, or just have a bad day. It's unrealistic to expect your loved one to stay positive all the time. It will cause more frustration, guilt and stress for him/her. Accept the bad days, give your loved one space when he/she needs it.

Take a break from cancer. It doesn't always have to be about cancer. Focus on other things, like spending time together doing something fun.

Show them you care. Show your loved one that he/she is still needed and loved. Give him/her a hug. Surprise him/her with books, magazines or music. Tell your loved one what he/she means mean to you. Let your loved one know that you still see him/her as a person, not as a cancer patient.


Re: Some Help on What to Say to a Loved One w/CC

Thanx for posting Lainy, this is very nice and clear.

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.