Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

I feel my mother's Spirit is with me all the time & I know she's watching over me.  I know that it was my mother who gave me the strength to go through all the red tape in France for her estate. The Notaire is heartless and I'm hanging on to the hope that when I die that I'll be with my mother again eternally.  She's waiting for me for as long as it takes.  A butterfly landed on my arm the other day, spread it's beautiful wings, stayed a few seconds and then disappeared.  This happened while I was walking up my sidewalk & I know that was my mother visiting me.  How come I don't dream of her?

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

Hi Orly, yes I am sure that beautiful butterfly was your Mother! Some of us never dream. I have not dreamed of Teddy but I have had a few night visits. His daughter who is NOT a believer has been having dreams.  Go know why they do what they do. When your Mother comes to you such as a butterfly don't forget to say thank-you. I am wondering if your Mother thinks it would upset you too much if she came to you in a dream. Mmmm Have you ever thought about starting a log like I have dating each entry of when you think your Mother has been there? It really brings a lot of comfort to read it now and then as it will show you how much she really is around you.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

This is my second Christmas.  I'm not decorating.  It's just me.  Its a lot of work.  I can't bring myself to look at our Christmas boxes of memories and treasures.  This is the one bridge I've yet to cross....other than not taking off my ring.

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

Laurie -

As a patient, I see this from the other perspective.  I know that there will be a first Christmas, first birthday, first anniversary, first Thanksgiving.  And a second. ... That tears me up.  I will want my family to go on.  It's going to be terribly painful for them, but it's a fact that has to be dealt with.  You're never going to forget, but remember the good times and the fun too.  Reach inside and look outside for the strength you need.  It's there if you look for it.

Peace

Duke

Fighting with dignity, not desperation.

Live, Laugh, Love

30 (edited by Missing U Sat, 29 Nov 2014 21:55:53)

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

Duke,

My heart goes out to you in your valiant struggle. My Dad passed away from this illness in 2007, but I have read that many have lived and continue to live as new treatments appear.

Please try not to imagine what it will be like for your family. I remember the last Christmas with my Dad and we were in the hospital, no gifts, no tree, no lights- but, we had each other, my Dad, my mom and I. He had a meal prepared for him from the hospital staff, and my mom and I had turkey sandwiches we'd made. She had baked the same cake we'd always had at Christmas and it was accompanied by some sparkling non-alcoholic wine. We couldn't have had a better meal if we'd been eating at a five star restaurant.

We were together, with all the trappings of this life pared away. Snow was falling that evening, across the river we saw the Christmas trees alight from my Dad's window. My mom and I got the opportunity to give my Dad his final Christmas card with our love written in it, word by tearful word. And, you know what, it was our most precious Christmas ever.

Duke, none of us know the moment we are called home. If we're lucky, we have the opportunity to live each second to it's fullest. We have the opportunity to make memories for ourselves and for our loved ones. If we're especially fortunate, we have the chance to tell our loved ones exactly how we feel about them, how much we love them, how much of a difference they have made to us. I can tell you that those memories are what keep me going, day after day. I live to honour my Dad and I hope that when I get to hug him again, that those who remain here, honour me with kindness and are encouraged to go on with beautiful memories as well.

Please don't worry about your family. Maybe if you can think about special things, simple things, that you can all do to love each other this very second;  to celebrate each and every second- even if it is just a simple celebration... those are the things that illuminate our hearts when darkness sometimes settles in, and those are the things that keep us going and moving towards the light.

I send you and your family the warmest wishes and the Brightest Blessings. God Bless you, Duke!
Vera

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

V era, your post to Duke is one of the most beautiful I have ever read and you are so right about everything you said. Wishing you and yours a very happy Holiday in December and I know your Dad will be all around you and possibly the brightest star in the sky.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

Vera, Lainy - Thank You seems so inadequate, but know that it comes with all the love I have.

Laurie - Their posts are just as much for you as for me.  And for everyone, patients, caregivers.  Remember, love multiplies, it does not divide.

Duke

Fighting with dignity, not desperation.

Live, Laugh, Love

Re: Dealing With Loss During the Holidays

Beautifully said by all.  Brings tears to my eyes.

Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.