Topic: Father "Diagnosed"- Don't know where to start
Hello everybody! My name is Danielle and I am a 19 year old optimist. Around Thanksgiving, my family had all come down with a stomach virus, which my father had seemed to catch. We realized he was losing weight very quickly and became very fatigued and tired. However, even after Christmas, the "virus" had not seemed to go away. My father, only 44 years old, is very frightened by the whole doctor/hospital atmosphere so he would not get checked out, claimed he just needed some time to rest to get rid of the virus.
The day before New Year's Eve, he had collapsed 3 times. Although we begged and pleaded for him to go to the hospital, he refused. He said he "had a feeling in his head of what this could be" and that "he had not made his peace with God yet." Finally, he agreed to go on New Year's Eve (We took him to Stony Brook University Hospital, on Long Island, thinking they would have the best technology- it is a teaching hospital). Besides being EXTREMELY dehydrated, test had shown that he had a mass on his liver. The Attending ER doctor immediately said it was liver cancer, but the oncologist said we needed to do a liver tissue biopsy. After the biopsy, he was told it was lymphoma. Then, after another look, we were told it wasn't lymphoma but it definitely IS cancer. Within a course of a week and a half, they changed the type of cancer 6 times. Finally, they said they were "calling" it stage IV bile duct cancer, with a large tumor that was pushing on the stomach making it almost impossible for him to eat. One gastro oncologist doctor came in and said "for your type of cancer, chemo does not work, it only prolongs life. If he lives 5 more years it will be pushing it" while an oncologist said "as long as you are willing to fight, I have a good feeling I can help you."
My problem is after all of the run around we have gotten, I don't know how much I can trust these doctors. I was wondering why they were "calling" it this and not diagnosing him. How do I know if the treatment they are suggesting is really the best way to go? My father's spirits are pretty low because of the uncertainty that these doctors are showing. As you may be able to tell, I am just so overwhelmed and confused because everyone seems to contradict each other at the hospital.
When I found you guys, I felt a great deal of relief. I know I want to transfer my father to a cancer center but I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice as to where to look. If anyone could recommend an oncologist, cancer treatment center, treatments/remedies that seem to be helping you or your loved one, any type of advice, I would greatly appreciate it. We are willing to try ANYTHING.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Please feel free to ask me more about his situation if it will help you at any way, I am open to sharing anything that could potentially help not only my father but other people who have to deal with this scenario. I wish nothing but a complete recovery to everyone!