Topic: Better off dead???
Quote from Christina (Chrissy23) on 7/18/08
"At a time like this financial issues should be the least of our worries but for some reason (for us as well) it becomes the main concern."
Christina, this really hit home with me. We've been so frustrated with money concerns and insurance problems that today Charlie said that me and the kids would have been better off if he would have already died. Can you believe it? It breaks my heart. I know he doesn't really mean it, (I pray he doesn't), but that's a frustrated man and that kind of negative thinking can't be good for his well being either. It seems like every day, there's some new battle for us to fight. A $2,800 bill from the hospital that Blue Cross says didn't get approved for radio frequency ablation, our daughter couldn't get her medicine today because the pharmacy said she's no longer insured. But we never got any information about COBRA or anything and I've been calling and asking for months. We might as well throw in the towel if we're not covered anymore. Charlie doesn't get Medicare until 5/09. He has Medicaid for 5/08 to 8/08. Don't see how that can help because his Blue Cross has paid everything except the out of pocket we still can't pay from Jan. and Feb. of this year. He was diagnosed 5/07, never able to go back to work. I lost my job in 6/07. No income until 12/07 when we got Soc. Sec. disability. I just started a part-time job in June with no benefits. He doesn't want me to work more than that because he wants me with him and I want to be with him. We both feel like he's living on borrowed time since things haven't really been going so good. Tumors came back after resection within 3 months and he's so tired all the time. The financial worries are just pulling us both down. I'm about to the end of my rope. Sell the house, move into an apartment with us, 2 teenagers, 3 cats and 1 dog?? It's like the financial worries are taking all of our energy and strength that Charlie especially needs to be fighting this. He thinks it would be easier on all of us if he were just gone. I don't want to lose him. I'm sick of this. I'm heartsick. I'm just about out of answers and energy to fight the big insurance company, the big hospital, the doctors. Savings is long gone, our church and others have helped us a lot, but how long can we hold our hands out for help? His sisters set up a medical fund at our bank and that helped a lot, but after a while, it just died out and it's empty now. We were denied for food stamps. You must really have to have nothing to get those. The economy is so bad and more and more people need help now.
I also know we've got it better than a whole lot of people too. But I really can't voice these concerns to friends or family members so I needed to do it here. I'm not asking for anyone to fix it because it can't be fixed. I just needed to have somewhere I could go to really say how I feel and not be judged. This is that safe place for me. Please keep us in your prayers and I do all of you.