Andy, I live in Leeds. The new oncology unit there is amazing. You can be sure your mum is in good hands. Ray's oncologist was Dr Crellin, in our case he concentrated on keeping Ray as well as he could for as long as he could and that worked for us. Ray also tried Gemcitabine and the only side effect he had was tiredness on the second day, in the last months it stopped the cancer from growing and gave us extra time, although he had to miss a few treatments due to low platelets. Fingers crossed for you.
Jan, the doctors might not seem in a hurry but I am sure they are waiting to see how Charlie gets on. If he is well and plays golf every day they may not want to compromise his current good health. It is a difficult decision for anyone to take, and everyone feels differently, but you should continue to sound out everyone here when you are confused about what to do, there is a wealth of knowledge and support you and you can be sure everyone is going through or has gone through what you are currently enduring.