Topic: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

1 day before my fathers 70th birthday he received the news he had cancer.  Bile Duct Cancer.  I found out on his birthday (8/9/2008) when I called him that morning to wish him Happy Birthday.  I'll spare you all the details as you all have probably been through this test and that test.  This has been the most difficult last month for my sister and I.  I sit hear typing this message and still cannot believe what is going on.  He was seen at the local hospital and then we (my sister and I) took him to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.  They have been absolutely fantastic. Unfortunately they attempted resection of the liver and had to stop as the tumor had spread.  The prognosis if we do nothing and "observe" as the oncologist called it is 6 months.  With chemo and radiation maybe 1 year.  I am happy to have found this web site and am reaching out to anyone to help with ideas and suggestions for getting up every morning.  I have been the primary caretaker to this point as my sister lives in Georgia, although she was here for a week and a half helping.  I am emotionally spent and unprepared for what is next to come.  Thank you all!!

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

Swarty,
So sorry you had to come looking for this site, but welcome...you have found a good place to hash out questions.  My husband's CC has been kept at bay with Cyberknife treatments.  This is palliative treatment, not a cure, but at least it is letting him have a somewhat normal life.  I know the emotional rollercoaster you are on and feel your pain.  Prayers for your Dad, you and the rest of your family.
Karen

Wishing all God's blessings!

3 (edited by marions Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:24:10)

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

Dear Swarty......Thanks for joining and reaching out to members of this site who, as you will experience are the greatest supporters when dealing with this cancer.  Simply, put out your questions and be ready for the replies.  Please, try to find some time for rest, yourself.  Out of personal experience I know too well how us caretakers focus on our loved ones and therefore, neglect to sleep, eat, or simply relax.  Again, I am so glad you have joined us.
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

Hi Swarty, so sorry you had to join our little community but a warm welcome.  You will find as you go along this rocky path, ways to cope and help get your dad to a comfortable place. Not sure why this has happened to so many good people. As a Caretaker I have found  release by getting in the car, driving down the block and letting out a few yells. Also found it comforting to get in the car, put on music I love and SING my heart out! I will not answer questions to family and friends all day long, thus reviewing until I am blue in the face. I send out 
group e mails instead. AND when I do not feel up to do anything else but look after my husband...I don't do anything else. You will find your own comfort zone as you go along.  Some of my friends and family may think I am too rapt up in this web site but I feel closer to  the people on here at this time than to others.
One has to do what works for them. Our prayers are with your family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

Hi Swarty,

I have to agree with Lainy on all points. I am glad you are here, but sorry you need to seek us out. I was driving 1 hour each way when my husband was hospitalized so I did a lot of loud music & singing. I called relatives & repeated things over & over.  In retrospect I would not do that again. You need to do what is good for you. Getting involved here is the best thing you can do for yourself. We all have gone through this or are going through this & we all understand & are here to help. I also feel closer to these people whom I have never met than others. Ask all the questions you want, as someone here will have an answer. We are all here to help. Good luck to you your father & the rest of your family. You are all in my thoughts & prayers.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

I would reach out for help, there is a respite organization in Wisconsin, see:

http://www.respitecarewi.org/

Also, see:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/SPC/SPC_1 … _Break.asp

I was my mom's primary caregiver but I had my six siblings to help and I don't know how I could have done it without them, there was so much to do--coordinate her treatment, locate and obtain supplies, communicate with doctors and people who needed to be updated on her condition, running her house and affairs, etc.

If you need to update people, www.caringbridge.org is a godsend, it allows you to easily set up a page where you can post updates on your dad's condition.

I let a lot of things go in my personal life and cleaning house became optional, do what you can but try to get some rest as my sister who is a nurse told me, this is the hardest thing you will ever do.

Patty

7 (edited by JeffG Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:55:06)

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

Hi Swarty..... After you digest as much information as you want and decide on the next step, I would find your local cancer support group, for patients and caregivers.  They have plenty of experienced and educated individuals who have been through these challenging times and can be of significant help with processing you and your Dad's emotions.  It's so easy for this situation to turn in to an arkward and emotional roller coaster.  On the same note, this site is available 24/7, if something pops in to your head and you want an answer use the google search or post your thoughts and someone will be more than willing to provide first hand suggestions from personal experience or let you know where on the site or off site to find your answer.  Sorry this had to happen Swarty.  Been battling 9 1/2 years and still have not got adjusted.  Just When you thought you had all bases covered something else pops up.  Postive attitude is a must in my book and I'll keep on saying it no matter what.  Time to make some decisions of reality; emotionally, treatment (yes or no), what type, and financially how?  I wish your Father the best and pray for all the strength you'll need as a caregiver.  If your unsure about any thing, don't hesitate to ask.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: My Dad was diagnosed with CC on 8/8/08

So sorry to hear your news.  My dad has cc and was diagnosed in Nov 07.  He was 67 when he was diagnosed.  It's a rough road with lots of questions and lots of decisions to make.  I highly recomment Caring Bridge as Patty suggests above.  It's a great tool.  There's lots of good information on this website so read and ask.

Take deep breaths and allow time for your thoughts.