Topic: update on Joe

I thought I should start a new topic even tho I posted on Charlene's post.  Joe entereed hospice yesterday.  We got back from Boniare on Friday night. He eanted one lat time to go there and say good bye to all our friends there.  We have been going there for 12 years and it weas painful being there.  He slept til noon and then just laid on the couch all afternoon and evening til it ewa time to go to bed.  But he loved being there and our friends all casme to us.  Our dear neighbors Ed and Jayne came down with us or we wouldn't hve been able to make the trip.  Joe seem to be in the final stages.  No interest in anything of this world, not much emotion, is eating just to please me but small amounts.  His ascites is as bad as ever and we ren't sure if hospice will let him have it drained.  He has no pain but his queasy stomach is back again.  He doesn't want to take the Lasix anymore because it is too hard to hurry to the bathroom.  I guess I just have to let him make the choice now.  Our daughter is getting married on December 27th and he really wanted to see that happen but both she and I have said it is Ok if he can't hang on that long.  He just wants it to be over.  I have done a lot of crying as I watch people say good by for the last time. Now our family is coming over one by one to have some quality time.  Two of our kids are out of town and I am not sure when to have them come in.  It seems everything else in life has come to a standstill.  I can't think of anything else.  Thanks heavens for our faith and the word to sustain us.  Our pastor in Bonaire came to the airport to send us off with a verse and a prayer.  I don't know what has gotten in to me but I have been getting up in the middle of the night and writing poems about good bye.  I am not a poet but God just seems to place the words on my heart.  It is hard to try and plan a wedding and a funeral at the same time.
I guess that's it for now.  I have been up since 2 unable to sleep so I thought getting some of it out might help. Thanks for being there day and night for all of us.  Take care and God bless.  I will keep updateing the blog. Mary Anne

Re: update on Joe

Mary Anne,

I pray for strength for you and peace for Joe.


Re: update on Joe

Mary Anne,
I can truly understand your grief.  We too are planning a wedding.  My mom has cc and I am helping my Dad be care giver to her and planning my daughter's wedding which will be on December 20th.  I live 3 hours away from my parents but am coming and going a lot. (19,000 miles on my car since June). 

Let me share something I told my daughter when she and her fiance decided to move the wedding up a year (because of Mom's Stage IV diagnosis and a possible deployment for the groom).

I can't promise you that it's God's plan for your grandmother to be at your wedding but I can promise you that she will either be in the front pew or have the best seat in the church for your wedding.  I know the same will be true for your dear Joe.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is.  Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

Re: update on Joe

Mary Anne,
I am so sorry for you and your family. I cant imagine how it must feel to be the carer in the situation. I am sending you my best thoughts and prayers. I hope that he does make it to the wedding and can spend some happy time with the family.

Mary Anne, you are doing everything right and sometimes we need to have the courage to let things go in a different way than we had planned. There are a lot of people here who dont understand why the patient makes the decisions they do...sometimes not even the patient. Your husbands decision to quit some of the medications might not be the best choice, but it is the best choice for him in his state of mind.

I will keep you in my prayers.


Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope