• From: Minnesota
  • Registered: Fri, 17 Oct 2008
  • Posts: 38

Topic: Moved Grandma to Residental Hospice...feeling guilty.

Hi everyone,

This morning we had to move my dear grandmother into Res Hospice. I feel so guilty.

We just really had reached the end of the road with the at home care. I had been taking time off of work, my aunt and I juggled the schedule with a dear friend that helped with overnights.

This past weekend she started sleeping more and then would wake up around 3am. She'd start to test her blood ( diabetic) even though she really doesn't have to anymore. One night, after doing that she started paging through the phone book looking for friends to call and talk to. At 3 AM. ( She wasn't very with it) Twice she had us tearing the house apart looking for a folder she needed. Only to realize at last that this was a folder her and I had found and gone through 2 weeks ago. She had forgotten. Mostly she doesn't know where she is or what time of day it is.

The main issue that came up was the influx of medication and her getting up at night without telling anyone. She used to try to use a walker but recently had started refusing. This means no sleep for the night over person because you keep waiting to "catch" her up and about.

I talked to her and told her she was being moved. She opened her eyes and said that was fine.

If she's fine with it...why am I not? These people taking care of her are amazing. I guess maybe its because I know that now I have to slow down and soak in what's going on. My Grandma really is dying.

Ugh. This sucks. ( sorry if I offended anyone) Christmas really isn't that fun of an idea either this year...

Thanks for letting me vent.
T

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,996

Re: Moved Grandma to Residental Hospice...feeling guilty.

Tonia,

I don't think you are offending anyone. My husband passed away a little over 3 months ago & I have to agree with you. It sucks!   I also am not looking forward to Christmas or anything else this year. Life is just not fair, is it?

I think that you did what is best for your Grandma, but it is always hard to let go. You want to do everything you can for her and now you have to let someone else do it & that is hard. I think you are right, that now you have more time to think & it is really sinking in what is going on. Just remember to take care of yourself now so that you can be strong for her. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Atleast you have found this wonderful site where you can vent all you want & everyone here understands & will be here to help & support you when you need it.

I will keep you, your Grandma & the rest of your family in my thoughts & prayers.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,313

Re: Moved Grandma to Residental Hospice...feeling guilty.

Hello! You have no reason to feel guilty you are a wonderful grand daughter and think about all the wonderful times you and your grandmother have had. I was thinking when I read your note, isn't it too bad that we cannot also become a little "out of it" to numb our heartbreak? One thing really stood out in your letter.....Grandma was fine with moving! She IS really fine and ready to go to a better place in every sense of the word. Please keep in mind that when that time comes she is only leaving the room. Our heartfelt prayers go with you and your family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • From: Chicago, IL
  • Registered: Sun, 15 Jun 2008
  • Posts: 710

Re: Moved Grandma to Residental Hospice...feeling guilty.

Tonia,

You are a good granddaughter, you have done everything you could. You will be able to enjoy visits with her now, spending time just being with her without worrying about all the pieces of her care.

I posted before that I have 6 siblings, one who is a nurse, who helped with my Mom's care and I don't know how I would have done it with only 5. It was the most exhausting thing I have ever done, there is so much to keep on top of, medications, appointments, etc. and I constantly felt like I wasn't doing a good job with any of it.

Patty

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