So....I was really going to let it be already, but it seems like I need the advice of the experts again! Just a couple days ago, when my father got the results from the CT scan indicating 5 new lesions in the lungs, (mets from liver) he also met with the surgeon that did his bowel resection and asked if it would be possible to do a colostomy reversal. The surgeon promptly said "sure" after only 3 months ago saying "there is no sense us doing a surgery that you could potentially not make it out of when you don't have a lot of time left." Makes senses right? However, I have seen my dad suffer with his colostomy. He spends endless hours in the boy's room and it seems to be the only thing on his mind. Just to give you an idea of my dad though, he has never been all that adventurous, so in a sense this colostomy has given him more to talk about. But I do see that it has given him trouble. Anyways, I was shocked to hear that the reversal was given the green light for the 19th of February! Especially since the onset of ascites (gained 40 lbs), a cold he has been battling for 2 weeks, lack of sleep etc. So I got his permission to call his GP and make sure they were aware of the newest changes, which they were not. Because my dad doesn't really understand where he is at, or else he doesn't want to believe it (which isn't necessarily a terrible thing) he has not conveyed to his doctor most of these happenings. So they just put him on antibiotics and ordered him another CT scan of his chest to r/o pneumonia, that he had tonight. Yes, I am getting to my point. My dad is a big fan of band-aid solutions. To get anything he wants he will push until he gets it, and avoid communicating details even if it is not what is good for him. He had a bad cold, a perforation in his colon as well as cancer when he went in for his initial knee replacement surgery but he never said a word even though he knew something was wrong. Now he wishes he never did the knee replacement because it gives him more pain than the cancer. My concern is that he will regret the reversal. He thinks it is such a blessing, an instant cure but I am worried it will not be. If he ate better the colostomy wouldn't give him so much grief. He has no intention to make lifestyle changes that would be required for the reversal yet he wants it. (Oh my, I am seeing some clear role reversals here as I type this)
My question: I know cancer patients get surgery all the time, to put in a stent or remove a tumor, but this is different. Is a man at stage 4/5 liver cancer with lung mets in any condition to survive this rather invasive surgery??
AND Would a surgeon do a surgery he knows could completely debilitate a patient/patient will not survive if it is something the patient really desires? I know it is terrible of me to think this, but sometimes I wonder if they just want to shut him up.
Ultimately I cannot save my dad from himself, no matter how irrational I think this is, and perhaps I have nothing to worry about and the doctors do know what they are doing. After all, whos to know if tomorrow he will take a turn for the worse, or the next day or a year from now. So in effort to not worry what will be or what might be, I am trying to let go, but it is difficult. Of course I want the surgery to happen and be a success. Doesn't he deserve the dignity to live the remainder of his life without a bag of feces hanging from his abdomen? But at what price is my question...his life?
Thank you in advance for your help!