1 (edited by LuLuu Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:25:51)

Topic: My beloved husband

Hi all,

This is my first time posting in a very long time.....I was a frequent reader but not much of a poster. 

It is with great sadness that I tell you that my husband lost his battle with CC on December 27 at the age of 50. He battle for 10 months, while 7 were good ones the last 2 1/2 were really difficult.   

I still can't believe this has happened..somehow I convinced myself that cancer would not take him and he would will this battle even though I knew better because of all the research I did.

I have been in love with this man since we started dating as teenagers 33 years ago, I don't know a life without him. My children and I are devastated...we miss him so much.  Our house is filled with so much sadness, we can't see the happy times through that.

I am so angry that no one can figure out how to fix this. How many more people have to die before something is done.  I have to admit that I started believing in that rhetoric that it is too profitable not to cure cancer.

Anyway, I guess you can see that my emotions are all over the place....sadness, anger...oh and guilt because I couldn't fix it....fear because I am all my children have now. 

Sorry for rambling.....you all are amazing people with such compassion.
I enjoyed reading and learning from you all.... I admire so many of you for your strength.  My wish for all of you is to continue your fight---I will check in from time to time and I want to see all of you here sharing success stories like I hoped I would be doing.

Please god, bless them all with a cure.

LuLu

I miss you more and more everyday. 
RFL 6/28/58-12/27/08

Re: My beloved husband

Dear Lulu,
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, your best friend, your childhood sweetheart. There is nothing that can soften a blow like that - you're completely justified in feeling angry, sad, depressed, confused. We're all right there with you.

I hope you find some comfort in memories and in the passage of time, but I know right now the pain is too fresh. Please take some time for yourself - whatever you need to heal, no matter what people may tell you. It's time to be selfish and attend to what you need so that life may be bearable again. I grieve for you and wish you all the best in this very terrible time.

Joyce M

Re: My beloved husband

Hi Lu luu I lost my husband recently too its a pretty weird time for us.I am on the other side of the world to you and I am 52. Good luck to us both

Re: My beloved husband

Dear Lulu,
My prayers of comfort for you and your family.  I remember you contacting me when you joined this forum.  I know the fight you have all been fighting and it is debilitating for the whole family.  Somebody once said that it is not just the one person that gets the cancer, but the whole family that is so affected with it.  Lean on each other and try to remember the happier times.
Peace,
Karen

Wishing all God's blessings!

Re: My beloved husband

Dear Lulu,

I am so sorry for your loss & for the grieving process that you & your family are enduring. I truely understand, as I lost my husband Sept. 2, 2008 after only 7 weeks of being ill. We did not have to endure the first months as you did, as we didn't even know he was sick nor had we ever heard of this terrible monster of a cancer. We did however go through the difficult ones as you & many others have.  You said that you are all your children have now, but remember, you also have them to help & support you.

We had been together for over 45 years, having met as teenagers also. We did everything & shared everything in our lives. I also have feelings of anger, guilt and sadness as you do. I did write to Dr. Giles on this site & his answer has given me some comfort. Whenever I get really down I go back & reread it. You too may get some comfort from his answer.

Know that he is now in a better place and no longer suffering or in pain and that he will be in your heart and memories forever.

Come here as often as you need to for comfort & strength. We are all dealing with the same issues & know & understand how you are feeling. 

I too pray that progess will be made in dealing with this disease in the near future.  You and your family along with everyone else on this site who are dealing with this horrible disease in one way or another are all in my thoughts & prayers.

I will say what I have been told many times. Now you need to take care of you to gain strength to get you through the days, weeks & months ahead.

Love & Hugs,

Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: My beloved husband

Oh sweet, sweet lady....Emilee and I lost Lee two weeks ago and words cannot express the overwhelming sense of loss we are feeling as well...the sadness runs so deep that I myself feel like I could lay down and die of a broken heart....but please know that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is holding you so close he is literally carrying you in his arms. He is close to those who are broken hearted, weak and heavy laden. Call on Him Luluu. Nothing and I mean nothing will help your heart more than He. Em and I will be praying for you....and know that everyday...every moment...every second...you are making it!

Love,
Heather

Re: My beloved husband

Dear Lulu,
  I am so sorry for your loss ,and for all that you and you family have had to go through, including this terrible time of grief and heartache. We who have lost a loved one can empathize with your pain and sorrow, having recently gone through it ourselves. And all the other caring, loving people here on this site will be here for you also, tring to ease a burdon that , really, is almost too difficult to bear. But you will gain strength as time goes along, and you have your family to help you through, and most of all, you need to remember that your husband would have wanted you to move on, and get on with life. That has helped me so much, knowing that my husband wanted for me to get to a place in my mind where I could enjoy life again someday, and - though I am not there yet, I strive toward that goal. My husband reminded me - very often - that life is a gift from God, and we must live it accordingly.

Joyce C.

Re: My beloved husband

Dear Lulu and Heather,
                                    I am so sorry for the great loss you are both experiencing. This disease is so awful. I was like you, Lulu, I knew how bad it was but I didn't believe or ever accept that it was really going to take my husband from me. He was too full of life and ideas to die and yet, when it became aggressive, he died within a matter of weeks. He suffered a lot as well and I would have done anything to change that.
                                    After 6 months I still miss him so badly and I cry most days but I have begun to remember the good times and can laugh as well as cry now.
                                    I am not religious but I know Anthony is with me in my heart for ever. I talk to him all the time and it helps.
                                   I am crying with you now as I think of what you are both going through. At least you can comfort yourselves with the knowledge that their pain and torment are over.
                                   Take care both of you,
                                              Pauline

Re: My beloved husband

Dear LuLu, my heart  go out to you and your family. It is a very difficult loss, with little time to prepare- after a lifetime of love.  You are in our prayers.

Hugs to you.

-Tess

Re: My beloved husband

Thanks to you all for the kind words....Magic, Darla, Heather....I too am so sorry for your losses as well.  How do we go on, I haven't figured that out yet.

LuLuu

I miss you more and more everyday. 
RFL 6/28/58-12/27/08

Re: My beloved husband

Dear LuLuu,

I don't think any of us have really figured that out yet, but we are trying.  For now all I can tell you is to keep putting one foot in front of the other & take things as the come. One day at a time.  Some times when things get really overwhelming I think we have to deal with things one moment at a time.

We do have one thing on our side.  This site & all of the great people on it.  Come here often when you need support or even just to vent your feelings.  It does help.  We all know what its like and we are all here for you when you need us.

Know that I am thinking of you & hoping that you are OK.  Take care LuLuu.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.