• Registered: Wed, 14 Jan 2009
  • Posts: 15

Topic: feeling your pain

I wish I had hours and hours to read everthing people write. It is now 2:40 am and I just had to get on here and read. My moms viewing is tom. and I was reading Pauline's posts. I just got done ironing and making sure everything is perfect. Sitting here i feel like I dont want to go. My moms battle was so short also.  Only 5 weeks since her last scans came back not good. November 20th her scans were fine. We went out and celebrated. Like Pauline I question everything. We knew this would be terminal, but never thought it would be so soon. Anyways just wanted to vent, to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm dreading this soo bad. Pretty much just feeling sorry for myself. Which I know is ok to do here. Thank God. I know I will be back soon to talk. Thank you all so much for being here!!! Love, Steph

  • From: London, U.K.
  • Registered: Mon, 17 Mar 2008
  • Posts: 199

Re: feeling your pain

Dear Steph,
                I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I will be thinking of you today as you go to visit her for the last time. All I can say, as I have said before, is that at least she is no longer in pain. Most people think that with cancer it is going to be a gradual process and that we will have some time to prepare for what lies ahead. With this cancer it can be so different and one minute it seems they are doing so well and the next it is all over. This is so hard to come to terms with and I know that all sorts of things that happened will be going over and over in your mind and it is such torment.
                 You know you are not alone here so please keep telling us how you are. Let yourself cry as much as you want to, it can help.
                 Remember that we understand your grief and are always here for you.
                Take care of yourself
                       Love
                         Pauline

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: feeling your pain

Dear Steph,

What Pauline has said is so true. All of us that have lost a loved one to this horrible disease know what you are feeling. We are all experiencing the pain & grief that you are now going through. Come back and vent all you want and yes, it is OK to feel sorry for yourself. Know that our thoughts are with you today and that we are all here for you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • Registered: Fri, 22 Feb 2008
  • Posts: 148

Re: feeling your pain

Dear Steph, My pain is still so fresh and tender...I swear I won't make it through another minute of the day...coming here to this site has helped tremendously...like an addict..know one knows the struggle unless you are one....unfortunately we are all connected by this horrible disease and know exactly what the other is going through...you don't have to hide anything...just be who the dear Lord made you...we are all here for you...and when I say I know your pain...I truly do! Look heavenward and cry out to the Lord...I scream bloody murder sometimes...and give it all to God...I might have peace for a minute or two...but it is what gets me through...I can't do it alone...I don't even want to do it at all...but remember how strong we really are...and how our love and commitment to our loved ones will get us a moment more of hope.  Em and I will be praying for you.

Love,
Heather

  • From: Endicott, New York
  • Registered: Sun, 01 Jun 2008
  • Posts: 457

Re: feeling your pain

Steph,
   We will all be thinking of you as you go through this painful time. Yes, reading the posts on this board has gotten many of us through the worst times. I have made many freidnships with people here, and I know it is one place we can just be ourseves - good day or bad, and we will always be understood.

Much love heading your way,

Joyce C

jclegg's Website

  • From: Mooresville Indiana
  • Registered: Wed, 20 Jun 2007
  • Posts: 202

Re: feeling your pain

Stef, I am so sorry about your loss.  Please know that we are always here for you. 
Love, Amy

  • Tess
  • Champion
  • Offline
  • Registered: Sat, 15 Nov 2008
  • Posts: 344

Re: feeling your pain

You are in our thoughts Steph.... sending you hugs & wishes for strength.

Tess

  • Registered: Wed, 14 Jan 2009
  • Posts: 15

Re: feeling your pain

Hi everyone. I made it through today. At least I think I did. What I probably havent told you is that I lost my brother to a car accident 13 years ago. I dont think I ever dealt with that the way i should have. He was only 19 and now I'm scared for my dad because he is going to be all alone. They were married for 36 years. I feel so helpless. I know my pain, but I cant imagine his pain. Losing a child and then your wife of so long. You would think I should know the grief process, but who does. Thank you all for your hugs, wishes, prayers, and thoughtfulness. I know I will be able to help you all some day. This is so helpful. To just write and then feel so much compassion in return. Thank you all!! love, steph

  • From: NSW,Australia
  • Registered: Sat, 14 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 557

Re: feeling your pain

Hi Steph-your dad is lucky to have you.Iwish I had you.

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: feeling your pain

Dear Steph,

You are a wonderful, caring daughter & your Dad is very lucky to have you. My son said something similar to me when his Dad passed on. He too is filled with grief, but said that he can not imagine the loneliness, pain and loss that I must be feeling after so many years together. It is hard, but having your family and friends to help and support you along with every one here does help. Grieving is not an easy process to understand or go through as I am finding out. It is just something that has to be done. We aren't given a choice. 

We are all here for you and for you too Magic.

Love,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • JeffG
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Kansas
  • Registered: Mon, 16 Oct 2006
  • Posts: 1,242

Re: feeling your pain

Hi Steph,  We truely are here for you. Vent and let out as much pain as possible as you can.  It'll take time. Continually flood your mind with beautiful memories and cherish them all.  Don't forgot ant-depressants if needed. Thay do help and don't have to be taken forever.  Valerie is taking to deal with her anticipatory -grief.

God Bless You and your Dad,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)
  • Lainy
  • Lainy
  • Moderator
  • Offline
  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,215

Re: feeling your pain

Dear Steph, a Mother NEVER leaves her children. Not really. She will always be looking over you and guiding you. And in turn she will always be with you, in memories and in your heart. How lucky she was to have a daughter like you which I am sure eased her way to the end as we know it. Now your brother is not alone, he is with his mom. We are sending Prayers to you and your family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.
  • Registered: Tue, 30 Dec 2008
  • Posts: 43

Re: feeling your pain

Steph - I am so sorry....everyone before me is right - this is the place to come and vent.  Heather said it perfectly - I come here daily, also, like an addict, because I know there are others - we are connected by this horrible disease that treats everyone differently.  The days after my Daddy's funeral were a blur - he passed away January 14 of this year.  We buried him on a Saturday and I went back to work that Thursday.  I told myself it was because I needed to think of something else besides thank you notes and finalizing everything.  But sometimes now I wish I had taken more time to just deal with the hurt and the grief.  I say this to you because we all grieve differently - take time to cry, sob and scream if you need to.   You are a wonderful daughter and your dad is lucky to have you, but remember to take care of the caregiver - yourself!!!!  Let your mind be flooded with the wonderful memories of your mother!!!
Sending hugs your way to help you through this time.

Smiles through Tears,
Patsy