Topic: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

I am blind with grief. Below is a note written by a dear friend.

Love,
Danielle

****************************
Dear friends and family of Danielle and Jim Bell

Danielle has asked me to contact you to give  you some news which I hoped never to have had to share, and you would have hoped never to receive.

Following what can only be described as a courageous battle against an ugly strain of cancer, Jim Bell passed away at Sherman House hospice, the Mayo hospital in Phoenix, Arizona in the early hours of this morning, Sunday 14 June 2009.

Jim slipped away with all those he loved around him: his wife Danielle, his daughters, many members of his close family were with him, holding on to his hands, arms, feet, legs and sharing funny and special memories of their life with him as he slowly drifted away from the pain he has been suffering for the past few months and especially weeks. Danielle said that the time was marked by incredible peace and love and sounded calm herself as I spoke to her about 20 minutes ago, although she admitted that the shock has not quite sunk in yet. From my telephone conversations with her, I have also been able to gague that these past few weeks have been full of mutual love and care, gentleness and peace.

I am so very sorry to be the bearer of such sad news, and via such a mundane medium, but Danielle wanted you to know sooner rather than later. It seems the memorial service will be held in Australia, and that the family will be returning there soon. I will let you know what the family decide regarding funeral arrangements during the next 24-48 hours, when Danielle herself has got her mind around all that needs to be done and has told me what they are planning.

Given it will be hard to know where to send cards, I thought I would put together a condolence book for Danielle and the girls, of which I will have 2 copies printed:  one for Danielle and the other for the girls. If you would like to add some comments to this, please feel free to send anything you wish to write and any photos or pictures you wish to include. If you would like your entry to appear as hand-written, please write it and scan it as a jpeg file, not more than 7-10 lines of normal writing per page....and I will try and accommodate what you have written as well as I can, no matter how many pages you wish to send. Any special photos, memories, anecdotes and/or words of encouragement are welcome, so that we can celebrate all that Jim was to all of us even during this time of sadness.

Once again, sorry to be the bearer of such sad news. I hope that you will find strength and peace no matter where this message finds you, and that, like so many of us, you will be able to smile through your tears, remembering the amazing person Jim was, and how lucky we have all been to have him in our lives.

God bless you, and more later
Nicky
(one of Danielle and Jim's friends from Afghanistan)

~~~~~~

Not, How Did He Die, But How Did He Live?

Not how did he die, but how did he live?
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away.

~~~~~~

2 (edited by Jamie D Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:11:41)

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle;
I am so sorry for your loss. I think it was obvious to all who read your posts how deeply you loved each other. I am sure there are others here that can offer more advice having been through it themselves but I offer my heartfelt condolences and prayers to lift you up during the coming days and weeks.

These are lyrics from a song that I love that brings me peace when I hear it;

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

God Bless you and Jim and both your families.

Jamie

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Oh, Danielle- I am so very sorry to hear of Jim's passing.  How brave and strong you were for him.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family now.  May you soon find peace and comfort in your loving memories.

Jolene

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."     ~g. b. hinckley

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,
I am sorry for the sad news. It must be so hard when you are away from home and all the organisation now. I am glad your family was with you and can help you through this time.

My sincere condolences.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

I hope you will be ok     Janet

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Danielle,

It is with such great sadness that I read this post.  I share your sorrow & your pain.  I know the next days will be very trying and hope that you can take some comfort in knowing that his passing, with all of his loved ones surrounding him was peaceful.  Try to remember all the good times & know that he is now in a better place, no longer suffering from this horrible disease. He will be with you in your heart & memories forever.  I will be thinking of you as you travel this journey of shock, disbelieve & grief.  We are all traveling it along with you and will be here for you when you need us for strength, comfort & support.  You and your family have my heartfelt sympathy and will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Danielle & Family, we are so sorry to hear of Jim's passing.

A Letter From Heaven by Author Ruth Ann Mahaffey

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me
and said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
they'll be here later on.
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night,
the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years.
Because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
    But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
One thing is for certain, through my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
Together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
And now I am contented....
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
When you're walking down the street
and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go....
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
your coming home to me.
*******************************Prayers to you, Danielle and your Family

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

I'm so sorry, Danielle.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,

I am so sorry and so shocked to hear of Jim's passing this morning. It wasn't so long ago was it we were all talking on the phone and full of joy discussing everything we could think of when we were at the Mayo Clinics in Phoenix and Rochester last March.

I don't know what to say except I'm so very sorry for the loss of your best friend Danielle. I'm at a complete loss for words and upset for Jim's passing. I'll contact you when we'll have more time to talk in the future.

God bless you and your family .

I'm a passenger on planet Earth and God is driving.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Oh Danielle,

I am so sorry.  Please know that we are here for you.

Amy

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,
I just wanted to let you know that I am still thinking of you and praying for you and your family. May God give you strength and peace during this time.
God Bless,
Jamie

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,
   I am so sorry to hear of Jim's passing. As you go through these next days and months, try to keep in mind that Jim is in a far better place now, where there is no pain and suffering.  Remember all the good times, and I am sure there were many, and always look toward the light. May God grant you strength and peace.


Love - Joyce C.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Danielle and children and family and loved ones,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish there was a way to make things better, I wish there were words to comfort you, but right now there is probably nothing that can do that. Please feel free to come here when you are ready, and we will support you in your time of grief. A great soul has left the earth once again.

Joyce M

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,
I agree with Joyce that there are no words that can comfort you, but hopefully you can eventually gain some comfort in knowing you are not alone.  I can tell you in my case, after almost 2 months of losing my father to this dreadful disease I cry everyday, I think of him all the time, and I just  plain old miss him physically in my life, however, I am at peace and actually relieved that he is in a better place and no longer suffering.  I prayed for God to take him, and I have no regrets in that.  For me, knowing the suffering is over and he died with all his loved ones surrounding him, and showing him how much we love him and always will, gives me peace.  Hopefully you will feel he same one day.  This grief is a process without any shortcuts, but we are all here for you to lend an ear and definitely our hearts.  I am truly so sorry for your loss.
Peace and lots of Prayer for you and your family,
Barbara

The  Lord is my shephard

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Danielle, it broke my heart to read your post, and my heart goes out to you - at this very difficult time.

You're in my prayers.

Tess

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

To dear Danielle,
I'm so very sad and sorry to learn that you have lost your darling soul-mate Jim.  What a brave battle you have both fought, and to me it sounds like you couldn't have done anything more to help him - but you must be so completely heartbroken.  Sending you my deepest sympathy and my thoughts will be with you over the difficult days ahead.  I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort in friends and family, and in remembering happier times together.
Wendy

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear friends,
Thank you for your kind words. I am an absolute mess. No idea how I shall live without him nor am I am interested in a life which does not include my beautiful man. No words.

I pray that all of you fare much better and continue your fight against this horrrible disease.

Danielle

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Danielle,

I know that no words can change how you are feeling or what you are going through.  I have been there & still am at times.  There are days that are better & many that are not.  These are still very early times for you.  I don't really think it will ever be the same, but I do think that with time we learn to live with the pain & loss and try to go on.  I too do not see how I can have a life or future that does not include my husband, but I know that our husbands would want us to be strong and to live the rest of our lives to the fullest and hopefully even to be able to smile & be happy again some day.  I just am not sure yet how to accomplish that.  This site & the support of the people on it have been invaluable to me, so keep coming back. We are all here for each other.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Hey Danielle and Darla,
I am so sorry for your loss, both of you.  I also just lost my husband to this disease and just wonder all of the time how I can go on and what I'm supposed to do with myself.  But Darla said it best when she mentioned that our husbands would want us to go on and not be so unhappy.  I'm going to try to think about that message and see if it will help.

I will keep you all in my prayers.
Pamela

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Welcome Pamela to the most elite little club in the world that no one wishes to join. We are so sorry to hear of your loss and we all know what a horrific  journey you have been on. You WILL go on because anyone who has the courage to go through what we do, will one day get the strength to carry on. I feel when you are ready he will guide you through the return. He will never be that far from you as he will always be in your heart and mind. Please don't hesitate to post us how you are doing.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Pamela,

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I am so sorry to hear that you too have lost your husband to this horrible disease. I am glad you have found this site & hope you will continue to keep in touch.  We are all here to help & support each other. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers along with everyone else dealing with this awful disease.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Lainy and Darla,
Thank you for responding with such kind words.  You know, I was used to my husband mentally "stroking" me when I felt down and//or had a bad day and I  did the same for him, so these bad days require deep soul searching to help me bring myself out of the lows.  I hate to sound so bummed but it's just how things are now.  It will get better, I know, but it's a hard journey.  I draw strength from you guys so keep on posting!!!
Pamerita

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Dear Pamela,

I know exactly what you mean. We were the same.  I also find myself so often thinking "I have to tell Jim" about this or that or I wonder what he will think of something.  You no longer have him there to share those things with or talk things over with. It has been almost 10 months for me & it is still hard.  I have good days & bad but it is what it is.  I try to keep myself busy as much as possible, as when I don't is when it is the hardest. Take care & know that I am thinking of you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

dear dannielle,
i am so sorry for your loss,we wil pray for you and your girl.

moon

Re: Goodbye my beloved husband, James Bell

Danielle,

Im so sorry for your loss.

"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it"