1 (edited by brookerp Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:06:33)

Topic: Happy Father's Day Daddy

Today is the first Father's Day without my one and only Daddy.  Leroy Addison passed away courageously January 14 of this year.  My Daddy was the bravest and strongest man I have ever known.  He was a farmer, cattle rancher, bird watcher and the loyalest Florida Gator football fan around.  Today as our family comes together to celebrate Father's Day for my husband and my brother, a chair at our table will be empty.  Even though it is full of warm happy memories of our Daddy and Papa, a huge void will be felt today.  This year, for the first time in 43 years, I did not buy a Father's Day present or card.  This was very painful for me.  As I stood there and read the cards for other people, when I came across the "Happy's Fathers Day from your daughter" cards, I lost it right there in Wal-Mart. 
To all the other daughters who have lost their daddies to this disease, I will post this poem once again.....it has helped me just get through the day sometimes. 
Happy Father's Day Daddy - may you rest in peace until we meet again. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and what a wonderful Daddy you were to me.  We miss you and love you very much.

He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

This is also Emilee's first Father's Day without her daddy...we are in Colorado right now, I truly thank the Lord, because I otherwise don't know how I would get through it without his smile as he opens his gifts, his twinkling eyes when he would reach for her to say "thank you" when he was all fininished..in his honor for this day...my brother took Em to Home Depot and she picked out two purple flowering plants to plant and live on in the backyard...it is extremely painful to watch others celebrate and wonder why our little one will not have him here...but I know he is here spiritually, watching, laughing, and cheering us on as we go on without him.  Please know you are not alone, and are so very, very loved by all of us here, and by Jesus too!!

Love, Heather

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

God bless all who have lost fathers, husbands, sons and brothers on this Father's Day.

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

My dad died in 1996.  As the years pass, the pain definitely subsides.  I still miss him lots and lots.

Big hugs to everyone,
Amy

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

It was my first father's day without my dad, too.  I decided to visit my sister-in-law a few states away, her son was getting married that weekend.  I also chose to drive which gave me much desired/needed time alone.  I 'talked' to dad, cried, and reminisced-just me, dad and the corn fields along I-35 in Iowa.  By the time I reached Missouri, I was exhausted. 

I can appreciate that with time the pain will dullen; it's just so hard to believe when it is so sharp, even now, almost a year later.  I feel that I am just beginning to breathe again after holding my breath for 10 months.  But I do feel as though my mind is clearer, and I am beginning to feel like my old self, slowly but surely.  I keep reminding myself that Dad would want me to live happily, to take care of my family, to carry on. 

And then, I have moments when I feel like I am betraying dad because he's not here, enjoying life as he did while he was alive.  He loved life.  He made an adventure out of everything.  He loved to tell us that he loved us, and call us to hang out.    There is a feeling that if I stop hurting, if the pain goes away, then I will have moved on with life, and moved past my dad.  I can't imagine not being with him every day, even if it's a memory.  I can't imagine not feeling this pain that I have felt since before he died, knowing he was about to die. 

I looked at father's day cards this year.  In the past years, I always looked for the cards that dealt with a dad reminding daughter to check the oil of her car.  This was a standing joke between my dad and I since I got my first car years ago.  I could always find one with some variation of the joke.  I stood in front of the cards, searching, and this year could find none.   I felt so stupid as I stood there crying in public. 

I did put a tribute in the paper for dad to be run on father's day.  I stopped by the cemetary on my way out of town.  And spent the day quietly, renewing my relationship with my husband's sister and her family.  A wonderful rainbow after a rainy day.

Peace,
Jolene

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."     ~g. b. hinckley

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

Jolene,

I have to thank you for sharing your feelings.  I lost my husband  around the same time as your Dad  and so much of what you said & are feeling is the same for me.  It does help to remind me that we are all in this together & none of us is alone.  We all share this lonely road of grieving.

I have a hard time with cards and  gifts  too, as they are no longer from both of us, but only from me. That just reinforces  that I am now alone.

I will hope & pray for better days ahead for all of us.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

Hi guys, I hear your stories and share your experiences, as this too was the first Father's Day without my Dad, who we lost this past March.  Thanks for the poem, the prayers and the stories of your Dads.

Our Dads will be loved forever, and they know it!

Hugs to all our Dads - may they feel them on the other side ...

Tess

Re: Happy Father's Day Daddy

Hello Everyone,
I read all your words and felt a familiar kinship with all of you. This too. was my first Fathers Day with out my dad.  I went to church with my brothers and neices and nephew, and we were asked to bring the gifts up to the priest which was quite an honor on fathers day.  We all then went to cemetary and brought flowers, afterward we ate a big pasta lunch at my moms b/c that is what we did in all the years past.  We honored my dad and my brother as well.  Then I worked on my dads garden and took a run on my dads and my familiar walking route.  As I ran, I smelld bbq's all over the town, and saw families gathering at home to celebrate, and I had a thought- "lets go have dinner with dad."  My family thought I was nuts, but they all came anyway.  We brought some red wine, bread, procuitto, parm cheese, fruit and headed to the cemetary. There we sat next to my dad on blankets and toasted my dad, and told lots of storie about him.  The cutest was when it was my 4  yr old nephews turn to speak and he said "grandpa as a great man, and I miss him", not a dry eye in the house.  Just yesterday one of my neices said can we go again and hang with grandpa, and when I said "next fathers day?" she said "no this week".  Somewhere I know my dad is watching, and he knows his impact on this family and  how much he is missed, but we are trying, and it is the best we can do now. 
God bless all of you who are on this familiar  path, I know the pain, and the sorrow.  YOu are all, always in my thoughts and prayers.
Barbara

The  Lord is my shephard