Topic: My heart is breaking all over again!

Within the last week or so...particularly around Father's Day...my heart just crumbled...I miss Lee so much, that all someone has to do is say his name and it's enough to knock the air clean out of me. We celebrated Em's b-day on Sunday because it falls during the week, and all I wanted to do was cry because he isn't here...I suppose we are experiencing lots of "firsts" without him...inclulding trying to cope with the accident...I simply cannot find anymore strength within myself to smile, "feel",  hope,. I'm coming to you all now because I need you all and your wonderful words.

Heather

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Hi Heather and Happy Birthday to EM. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. Looks like it's time for one of  my notes:

You will grieve my loss, but I have not gone. My body is beyond your reach, but my soul is touching yours. I am the one who enters your dreams. Caresses your face Hugs you. Misses you. I have not left, my spirit is with yours. I am all around you when you call. I am the gentle breeze when there is no wind. I am in the photo on the wall when you blink in disbelief. I am the song that enters your head for no reason, yet it reminds you. Don't grieve that I am gone. I am with you, beside you, in you. I will be forever.

Please do not doubt yourself about getting through the "firsts". If you got through this terrible journey, you can get through anything! You have the strength, you are just tired out from one bad thing following another. By the way you can e mail me anytime, like you used to and some day I know we are going to meet in Phoenix. We are all thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Dear Heather,

I am sorry you are feeling  so bad right now.  I know how overwhelming it can get. Unfortunately, those feelings will continue  to  come &  go.   I lost Jim 10 months ago & still have  times that I feel like  you are now.  Coming here and asking for help & support is the best thing you can do.  Atleast it helps to know that you are not alone & that all of us are  dealing with  the same issues  & feelings as you.  It won't make it better and it won't make it go away, but it is comforting just to know that it is normal and you are not alone.  The  thing that seems to be helpful to most of us right now is to try to keep busy & not to dwell too much on everything. However, that said,  it is sometimes  easier said then done.  Just know that we are all here for you & that we do all truely understand and symphathize with what you are going through.

I know coping with the accident has also added an  additional burden on you.  I hope you and Em are doing OK.  Know that I am thinking of you both & will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Take care of yourself & Em and come back as often as you need to.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Heather,
No words of wisdom, just a warm cyber hug. I cant imagine what you are going through. You have so much going on and you are doing as best you can. We are here for you.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Hi Heather, I follow Kris in sending many hugs your way.  I wish I could offer words of comfort, but I don't yet know the secret to that hurdle that you mention...  what the mere mention of a name can do, the one that knocks the air right out of you. I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain and that you're not alone.  It's ok to cry, and to hurt, and feel the hopelessness, don't feel bad about that. Your strength will come back, just remember to do a little something extra for yourself- you need the TLC now- perhaps more than ever.

Send hugs & well wishes to you!

Tess

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Hi Heather,
   I read your post, and I feel such sympathy for you. I know - it is up and down, up and down. And you did have the accident to cope with additionally - it is just so much. I hope you are feeling a bit better, and that Em had a nice birthday. Those firsts just get to us, I said I will be glad when the 1st year has gone bye - at least I will have done everything once then! I don't have any words of wisdom - Darla is right - I just try to keep busy as much as possible - it DOES help me.  That and prayer have pulled me throuhg this far.

Love,


Joyce

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Dear Heather,

I am so, so sorry. I do not have any words of comfort for you as nothing I say will even make a dent at your grief. On a practical level, keep coming to this website as several of us are going through the same thing, i.e. Darla, Joyce,  and I. I lost my beloved husband only three weeks ago (on 14 June) and I am crazy with my grief. Although I agree 100% that you need to keep busy, allow yourself space to grieve, wholly and privately. Heather, I feel guilty posting to you as I am a complete wreck and don't want to say the wrong thing. I just want you to know that I feel a lot for you and  it sounds like you and Em are doing very well. I am praying for you, as well as the others.

Cherish your beautiful memories as part of your grief and allow your memories to provide some peace, comfort and Lee's love that will never, ever leave you. I loved Lainy's words.

With love and my prayers,
Danielle

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Hi Heather,
Wrapping my arms of comfort around you and Em; saying prayers in the hope that you both find the strength to come through this terrible mourning (although I know it will not be any time soon).  I so empathize as there is a giant hole in my chest also and the mention of Rob's name does the same for me.  Know you are not alone and cry whenever you need to.  I do and I know I have gotten some strange looks depending on where I am, but I really don't care.  Rob and I had loved each other many years and had a very emotional two years prior to his passing.  We all deserve the time to mourn our losses.  Hoping that you find some joy in your heart and that the hurt starts to abate.
Peace,
Karen

Wishing all God's blessings!

Re: My heart is breaking all over again!

Heather,

My utmost sympathy to you! We here on this board can safely say we know what you are going through. It is so hard some days...but it will slowly get tolerable....then you'll have days where it's ok. I still have long crying days and moments of just utter, utter misery, but it does start to ease. My John passed Nov. 23rd 2008.
Our wedding anniversary was May 2nd. That was a horrible day for me.

We never stop loving or missing the ones we lose but thank God He has made it possible for us to go on.

I wish  I could fold you in my arms and help you with the pain. Just know we are here for you whenever you need us.

Peace and healing to you,
Charlene