Extreme edema from ankles to abdomen

Oh, gosh.  I'm so sorry to hear that.  We endured a similar experience with my friend, Kelly, when she had her last chemo treatment.  She was borderline for the chemo, but she elected to proceed.  It took a huge toll on her body - she was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks after that treatment.

It's hard to say what will eventually result in the passing.  A big indicator that the body is shutting down is ascites (fluid retention in the abdomen).  Once this begins occurring, it's a sign that the kidneys are having difficulty processing the water in the body.  Sometimes this can be helped with diuretics.  Once the diuretics stop working, the doctors will resort to draining the abdomen to increase comfort of the patient.  But at this point, all signs are pointing towards kidney failure.  Once that occurs, the passing is not far away.  I'm not sure how adema plays into this.  As I remember, Kelly had adema for months before she started retaining considerable amounts of fluid in her abdomen. 

A large number of patients also succumb to infections.  The body is in a weakened state, so the infection can really take hold and be difficult to fight off.  I'm sure you're well aware that an infection can develop instantaneously, so that's a situation that can definitely catch you off-guard, and hasten the passing.

I spent a lot of time at the end focusing on the signs that would indicate that my friend was about to find peace.  But, in retrospect, I wish I had taken another friend's advice to ignore those thoughts and just "soak Kelly up."  Figuring out the moment of the passing was not important.  However, spending as much time with her as possible was important. 

I wish you my best during this time.  I hope your mom is comfortable and at peace.

Sara and Carol- Thanks for your replies and your good wishes. I know I should spend less time worrying about HOW my mother will die, and I do try to enjoy every moment with her, but as soon as someone gives me a break from caring for my mother, I search the Internet obsessively for signs I should look for. Some people just feel the need to know, it's a kind of feeling of control, I guess - my sister doesn't feel this need, so I'm the medical expert. IT comes in handy sometimes when the doctors aren't giving much information because they think you won't understand. I'm sure my sister has her own methods of feeling in control - and we both practice a lot of DENIAL to get through this.

Anyway, I am so sorry for your loss, Sara, and I'm sure you were always there for your friend, even if you WERE obsessing over the details, as I am! Your advice is great.

And Carol, I wanted to let you know that my mother's swelling has spontaneously gone down dramatically - without diuretics or drains or anything. We feel renewed hope that she may be with us for a few more weeks or months. Diuretics just made her dehydrated so we refused them this time, and they aren't even offering drainage for ascites in hospice - they just let everything take its course. But as soon as I broke her out of the hospital and dragged her home, everything improved, both mentally and physically. She can get to the bathroom with help but most of the time she's bedridden, so it's not as if she's getting any exercise. Her appetite is back and her constipation was finally relieved, which took away a lot of the bloating. It just goes to show that this disease is so different for everyone. Anyway, I hope your mother has a similar experience and her edema gets better -- I don't know how long this will last, but it's a blessing to have my mother alert and happy and comfortable again, even though she has to stay in bed.

My best wishes - I'm so glad to hear from someone else who is going through this horror, though of course I would prefer that NO ONE had to go through this.