Topic: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

Later this week my husband and I are returning to Florida to visit my Mum for the first time since Dad died at the end of June....

We stayed with her for 5 weeks after he died, returning to England early August which was hard. So 12 weeks later we are going back to see how she is doing for ourselves and to take a cruise next Sunday.


We should have been taking this cruise end of July but cancelled, so I have mixed feelings about this trip.... Part of me is desperate for a holiday and part of me feels guilty for taking a holiday when my Dad will never take another one... he just loved cruising and introduced us to it about 8 years ago.

I  know deep down he would expect us to go and enjoy ourselves but is it normal to feel guilty/self indulgent when you do something for yourself? I don't know....

Anyway from later on this week I won't be around for a while, hoping for some sunshine next week....

Katie

Re: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

Katie, of course its perfectly normal except I have to say one thing about dad. He will be enjoying the cruise right along with you. Do you think after your journey with your dad and all the stress that he would not be happy you are going? You might even see some kind of signal that he is right there with you.
You just have to keep an open mind. So, you have a wonderful cruise and remember life is for the living! Could be this is just what you need! Bon Voyage.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

Katie,

I think it is normal to feel this way as I feel the same when doing things that I used to do with my husband.  That said, I agree with Lainy.  I have been told many times that our loved ones would want us to go on and enjoy life as we did before with them.  I have often felt that Jim was right there with us sharing special times.  There are signs if you can be open and sensitive to them.

On a side note, we also enjoyed cruising and were introduced to it many years ago by my grandparents who passed on years back.

Go and have a good time.  Your Dad will be right there with you happy that you are doing something that you enjoyed and shared with him.

Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

I think your feelings are very normal, too.

Have a goooood time & try & relax into the cruise.  I'll miss your posts, so please drop me a line when you get back.

Jx

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

Thank You, Julia, Darla and Lainy for your support.

I am having a mini meltdown just now!!! Trying to get myself ready for our cruise and sorting my 16yr and 18yr olds out with washing, ironing, food etc....

In the midst of this I did a night shift last night, am doing a 14 hr day tomorrow, followed by an early shift on Wednesday. We leave first thing Thurs morning.... Why do I do this to myself?

Thinking of you all whilst I hopefully top up my tan in the Caribbean. Remembering my Dad.....

Katie

Re: Going back to Florida for the first time since Dad died...

Honestly, I don't think you are doing this to yourself. I believe your dad, knowing you would be stressed about going to Florida is keeping you busy to take your mind off the visit! Take some deep breaths and it will all be fine.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.