remembering the last days

Dearest Janet, I know there are no words to really express your feelings, or ours to you, so I will use words of someone else:

You will grieve my loss, but I have not gone. My body is beyond your reach, but my soul is touching yours. I am the one who enters your dreams. Caresses your face Hugs you. Misses you. I have not left, my spirit is with yours. I am all around you when you call. I am the gentle breeze when there is no wind. I am in the photo on the wall when you blink in disbelief. I am the song that enters your head for no reason, yet it reminds you. Don't grieve that I am gone. I am with you, beside you, in you. I will be forever

Hi Darla, funny. I keep repeating some of my favorites but why fix it if it ain't broken? Sometimes there are just no words, I can't dig down deep enough to find them, so I use these poems/prose instead. Is it a Wisconsin thing???? Hope you are not freezing too much.

They played a heck of a game after the first 5 minutes! They are young and by next year could take it all! Now we switch to the Cardinals as that is our home now. They are equally good but they sure exhibited some bad behavior.

Oh , Janet, it is so difficult - last year at this time, the world was a different place for you. I sometimes think about that - that one moment in time when everything changed - it is the same for all of us. I am so very sorry that you are so sad - it will get better - it has for me. The one year anniversary was brutal, but - read Lainy's poem - it does comfort me, reading it - makes me realize that we are not alone - our loved ones are around us in spirit. I will be thinking about you and the boys. 

Love,

Joyce

Elaine,

I didn't get involved in a group, but I know others have and I am sure they will be chiming in soon.  You were atleast fortunate to have had a good experience to remember in the end and yes, he is no longer suffering, but now we have to learn how to go on and that isn't easy.  I think in the beginning we are still in shock and have so many things to do and think about and then all of a sudden it hits you and you realize he is never going to be here again.  For me it has been over 16 months and it is still hard.  I have good days & bad, but hopefully there are more good than bad as time goes on.  I have come to the conclusion that the sadness and loneliness never really goes away, we just learn how to live with it and go on.  We will always miss our husbands and remember the lives we had before.  I try to keep busy and not dwell on things too much, but that is not always easy.  We have all been helping & supporting each other as time goes on and I hope you will keep coming back too as we all know what it is like and we all understand and care.  Take care Elaine and keep coming back when you need to.  We are all here for you, too.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Janet
Sorry to hear of your great loss - words fail at times like this.  Suffice to say you are in our thoughts.

Gerry

Hi Joyce,

I'm glad to be reconnecting with you and the entire cc family.  I've been reading the posts every day but didn't feel up to posting myself until now.  I was in Endicott over the holidays - wish I'd had the forethought to arrange to meet you.  I'll be back home again over the summer for sure - can we do that then?  Your Young Widows group sounds like fun.  I hope to make a connection like that down here in SC.  Our senior citizen organization is very active also, so I'll probably look into that as well.

Today is Gary's 3 month anniversary and it's amazing the wonderful signs my daughters and I experienced - a beautiful California rainbow, a gorgeous SC sunset, and a great day at work after several blue days.  Gary left us all with the ability to always see the positive and to be motivated to carry on.  Unbeknownst to anyone else, Gary called his best friend (and spiritual companion) the day he found out he had "weeks" to live (it ended up being 5 days) and asked him a favor.  He wanted this friend to wait 2 months and then call me, the 5 children, his mother and brother and relay a message.  It was the same message he lived by - go on with life, do not be sad - and for me, that he had the best years of his life with me.  I feel so blessed to have had him!

It amazes me how much this board has to offer to everyone at every stage of fighting CC.  What an intimate connection we all share.  I'm glad to be back!

Elaine