Topic: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Mary presented the initial symptoms on March 22, 2009.  She was eligible for and elected the liver resection and she made the best of the remaining months.  On Feb 22, all the indications were that the CC was in total remission and she would be one of the fortunate few who had several more years.  Unfortunately, by March 15, it was clear things were not right.  She was re-admitted to Stanford on March 26 and on March 31 the attending physician told me I should assemble the family.  Her kids from Pasadena, Tucson and Pennsylvania and my kids from Denver and New York along with all of our grandchildren arrived less than 24 hours later. 

Mary said goodbye to each of us in turn. Her last lucid comments were on Easter Sunday (April 4).  We had a "take out Easter Dinner" in the hospital although Mary could not join us from her room. After dinner, she talked to each of us although it was only a few words.  She was most loquacious to the grandchildren.

By Monday, she was uncommunicative and unresponsive.  And, although we had made plans to move her home, the doctors were advising us that she would not make the trip successfully.  Each of her children, her sister and I worked 24x7 shifts to make sure she was not alone. 

Mary spent the last 15 years worrying and taking care of her heart. Proper food, good cholesterol numbers, blood pressure management, you name it. Well, her heart and lungs kept working until April 8 even though her liver and kidneys had failed several days before.   Finally, on the afternoon of April 8, she drew her last breath and her heart stopped beating. 

I wrote on her crematorium container:
Mary, my love
Let your itchy feet carry you
to new and wonderful places,
Let your spirit hold
and keep our love,
All Ways and
Always,
Pat

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat,

I am so sorry to read of Mary's passing.  It did seem that she may have been one of the lucky ones.  In a way she is.  She is now in a better place and no longer suffering.  She was fortunate to have had her loved ones there for her. What a wonderful and appropriate  inscription for the crematorium container.   She will be with all of you forever in your heart's and memories. You all have my deepest sympathy and understanding.  My heart & thought's are with you today.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your wife Mary. I followed your blog through last year and avidly read your updates.

My Dad also had a liver resection last JUne but sadly his outcome was not good and he passed away 9 days after surgery....

Like Mary he had heart problems over many years but it was the CC that took him away from us.

Sending my thoughts to you and your family at this difficult time.

Katie

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat,

I am sorry to hear of the passing of your wife Mary. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat, please accept our heartfelt prayers for Mary. I have a poem that I love and it seems to have helped others, consider it sent by Mary:

If I should be the first to go,
And leave you alone, My Dear,
Let not your heart be lonely,
Nor in your eye a tear.

Grieve not for me, my darling,
I'll not be far away,
With petals of love and tenderness,
I'll pave for you the way.

To join me in our sanctuary,
And ne'er again we'll part,
Grieve not for me, my darling,
I live within your heart.

Take joy again in living,
As you did in years gone by,
God knows of what He's doing,
And not be questioned why,

Grieve not for me, my darling,
My life with you on earth,
Each moment filled with happiness,
And love so few be worth.

I'll be waiting for you Sweetheart,
Where skys are ever blue,
With eager heart and open arms,
Patiently for you.

Grieve not for me, my darling,
May faith and my love keep
Your soul filled with contentment,
Eternally I sleep.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat

My heart goes out to you & your family.  How wonderful that you were all able to be together this Easter & what a very lovely message you wrote for her.

My sincere condolences & best wishes to you all.

Julia

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Pat,
I am so sorry for your loss.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Dear Pat,

I'm so sorry to hear about Mary's passing after hearing just a few months ago that things looked well.  It sounds like your family has had a rough few months and you're all in my prayers.  All my best to you and the whole family.

Rick

Ulcerative Colitis 1990, Stage 0 colon cancer and subsequent colectomy with J-pouch in 7/2005, PSC 7/2005, Klatsin CCA 8/2009

Re: Mary Hughes, Los Gatos CA 3/7/1947-4/8/2010

Pat,you and your family must be in such shock after getting the all clear so recently..My sincere condolences to you and your family           Janet