Mum just been diagnosed Ninewells (Page 2 of 3)

I have not posted on my Mum's journey for some time as she has been at home under care of my Dad with a lot of help from ourselves and SCO's (social care officers ) coming in four times a day to help .She can not stand without a hoist and her left arm has not regained function after her second stroke.She is mentally aware.

She has lived longer than we expected (at diagnosis )already,how the weeks and months fly by.She is constantly getting urine infections from an indwelling catheter , but always seems to spring back.

However ,she is looking very gaunt now and is refusing to eat any substantial food most days,so I am not hopeful there is much more time left for her .However ,she is not retaining water in her abdomen ,has no jaundice, the stent still appears to be working, so who knows, maybe she will surprise us all again.

I love her dearly and do not want her to suffer,so I hope there is not going  to be a  lot of pain after all the trauma of her strokes and lengthy hospital stays.She has borne so much to this point already.Other than the stent they have offered no treatment because of her age and frailty.Perhaps the cancer is growing slower because of her age.

She has lived to celebrate her Diamond wedding anniversary ,birth of a second great -granddaughter, Christmas and New Years since she was diagnosed last  May 13th .We continue to hold our breath and take each day as it comes.

Dear Scott, I am so very sorry about your Mum. She is lucky to have a son like you at her side and it appears your family as a whole has taken such good care of her. I wish for her a Peaceful journey.

Hi to all especially Gavin and Lainy who took the time to answer,Thanks.

Can I just say firstly that I am actually( Scott's mum ie ) female to clear up any ambiguity,and the lady with CC is my mother & Scott's gran.

Yes Gavin,they have her on the syringe driver and she is now actually eating a little for the first time in TWO WEEKS and no apparent nausea.She is also chatting away and so animated as of yesterday.We just wonder if it can last at all or is just the eye of the storm.She was taking a lot of meds by oral route and I don't think this was helping her cause one bit.

She has had a peaceful night by all accounts but the ward is very busy.The hospice side is run alongside general CO Elderly in Brechin,but that did not stop her from requesting a private room !Bless her!Some hope!

The whole family is to visit today, including the Irish contingent including the new baby,her second great grand daughter, whom she has not yet seen in the flesh,so it is a day to remember.

She has been so much recovered since the driver was attached, we didn't know if she would get through the night on Thursday,she seemed so gravely ill at home.

She has been having huge spikes of temperature ,but forging through all the info I can glean from this site I read that others have experienced this and it does not necessarily mean infection.Every time it happens they have classed it as UTI due to her catheter and prescribed antibiotics.This time we and the admitting GP said enough ,lets treat palliatively and see what happens ,she is so frail,it may be time to let go.The fever disappeared overnight on its own,and on the driver she is chatting away as if she has just returned from the Pub on a Saturday night!

She is so tiny and endearing and funny it just breaks your heart ,but we laugh along with her and treasure the moments.

Keep you posted.What happens next?

ScottsMum

Hi Scottsmum,

That is great news to hear that your mum is feeling a bit better and that she also had a peaceful night, and she is eating a bit and that is good to hear as well. My dad got a bit of a boost when he came off most of his meds and went on the syringe driver and he also started to eat a bit more, plus he would complain of being hungry and wanting food and that was great to hear! I think that when my dad was taking so many meds orally and was vomiting so much then he wasn't getting the benefits of any of the meds as he kept bringing them up. So once he was on the driver he felt a lot better and was more chatty and stuff and I hope that your mums gets a similar bounce as well.

That is great the whole family will be visiting today and that your mum will get to see her second great granddaughter for the first time, that will be the best medicine of all for her! And as you say, this is definitely a day to treasure and remember. Please keep us posted.

My best wishes to you and your mum,

Gavin

The latest is that the doctor has upped Mum's medication and she is sleeping mostly,and seems free of pain and peaceful. I don't feel that this much morphine is really necessary yet as it is suppressing her respiration,and as a former nurse know what the outcome of that  will likely be.

However my Dad is hoping now that she will peacefully go sooner than later,so I will go along with the doctor and his decision without comment.

I just feel that there was still so much I would have liked to say to her before she went.
My parents didn't talk about the cancer and that she was actually dying from CC,they preferred to pretend it wasn't going to happen.It didn't give me much chance to tell her how much I'll miss her .We just seemed to drivel on about mundane things on our visits ,although I realise that talking about dying wasn't a cheery subject I would have liked to reassure her more .Also that we will take good care of Dad ,who after the death of Walter ,her brother ,some years ago will be the LAST Musketeer.The three of them were always together.

I am sure that Walter will come take her soon to a better place.

ScottsMum.

Hi Scott'sMum,  Your mum is such a trooper, how she keeps coming around and chatting it up and all. She sounds like a real sweetheart. They say the last thing to go is hearing, so I agree with Lainy talk to her now and if you do not get the chance to say everything you wish she will know, she will feel it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Nancy

Thanks to all who answered , I will take your advice.

To Lainy if you read this -I can put a face to your name- as I watched your video regarding the shameful report of the Hospice where Teddy passed.I was heartbroken to hear of this as these places are supposed to be a haven for people approaching the end of life,not some sort of dying conveyor belt where no one could care less.He deserved so much better as does anyone who may cross their doorway.Now you have to cope with anger and regret along with your grief .

I know they are giving Mum more than she likely needs in the Morphine department and that may lead to things that may shorten life,but at this stage I find that immaterial.She is settled and pain free.

May God take her when he wills ,her body is spent.

ScottsMum.

Dear Scott's Mum, I understand completely how you feel and what you are going through. My Mom passed 1 month after Teddy. She was 94 and in excellent health for her age except for dementia. I had always told myself that to live so long and in her good condition for so long was a blessing and that we were lucky that way. I never cried. But perhaps I was drained from Teddy's departure. I think you are just numb. Sometimes we need and deserve a little break no matter how small. There were days that I didn't see her and my daughter and I took turns visiting. We never stayed that long, maybe an hour or 2. I always felt that was not really her at the end. That is not the beautiful and vivacious woman I knew as my mother. Maybe you can try and change your thinking about IF she goes on her Birthday. I think of it as being born and returning on the same day. Your Mum has shown you another side to her a side of bravery and courage. Her comfort is the bottom line and it sounds like they have her pretty comfortable. I know you will keep us posted.

Thanks Scott, for keeping us abreast.  Your Mum is comfortable, easy to visit and no restrictions on the visiting hours.  What a precious time for all.  May it continue.
Stay strong and enjoy those great moments of conversation.
My heart is with you,
Marion

Scott: 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  I know that your Mum and Dad are treasuring the moments that they still have with each other, and for as long as you have your mom, let her know that you love her.

Go with God,
Margaret

Dear Scottsmum,

I am so sorry to read your post. I wish that there was something that I could say to help. You and your mum have been so through much and I know how hard this is for you having been down this road with my dad. From what you say, it sounds like your mum is being well cared for. Is she in Stracathro or is she in hospice care right now? When my dad was in hospice here in Dundee, he used to get pain shots when he needed them and that helped a lot. What pain meds is your mum on right now and also, what are they doing for the vomiting?

Your mum is indeed showing her tenacity for life and I know how much she will love seeing her great granddaughters from Ireland. I so hope that your mum will have a great visit from the great granddaughters.

Thinking of you and your mum right now.

Gavin