• Registered: Fri, 01 Jan 2010
  • Posts: 31

Topic: 9 days gone

My Jim died just 9 days ago.  We have been busy with services, friends and family.  I continue to keep things in order.  We have 3 daughters, I live with one, One is just 25 min away, and the third is away on a trip to france.  Every one has been supportive and the girls were great support.  Now I find myself unable to start my grieving process.  Tears, prayers anything to make this start.  I am numb.  Is it too soon?  I try to figure out what I should be doing now but I just can't get my head around this.  How did this happen so fast?  What is my next step?  I have never been on my own, all my life.  From my mothers house to Jims and my house, now I am with one of the girls and her family.  Where do I go from here?  I am just a mess.

  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,174

Re: 9 days gone

donna....How do we define a grieving process?  It comes in many different ways and has no set start time and end date.  It allows you to feel whatever you may feel at the present time.  I suppose, feeling numb is part of it. 
I remember asking myself the very same question after my husband passed away: not knowing as to how my life is to continue.  Jointly we had made plans for our future and I really did not know how to move forward without him.  But things have evolved in a way so unimaginable than before.  Not everything took a turn to my liking, but life went on and I even learned to smile again.   You will too.  Keep talking something, I believe of great importance when dealing with a situation such as this. 
Also, remember that we have our Doctor Giles.  He is always ready for a question from any of us.  He is there for you also.  And, our great members surely will continue to stand by you.
Hugs coming your way,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,990

Re: 9 days gone

Donna,

I too felt as you do now, and some days I still do, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and seeing where it will lead.  Don't give up on yourself.   It will never be the same, but you will be OK.  Life has a way of going on.   We may never really get over what has happened.  It is such a great loss, but in time you will learn how to live with it and figure it all out.  Give yourself that time.  There is no time limit on grieving we all have to do it in our own way and time.  And as Marion said, we are all here to help.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • From: Manchester,England
  • Registered: Mon, 03 Aug 2009
  • Posts: 328

Re: 9 days gone

Dearest Donna,

I think what we know about grief is that we go with whatever we feel at any particular given time..... Be gentle on yourself, it is still such early days.

You and your daughters have been through a tremendous amount of emotion recently and you all need to be gentle on yourselves.

There is no set pattern to grief, everyone grieves in their own way at their own pace.

Some minutes or hours are easier than others. Never  mind taking things on a daily basis....

Make sure you all try and eat well and get plenty of rest and exercise if you feel up to it. I know that helped me...

Sending love and positive thoughts,

Katie