Topic: my grandfather

My grandfather was diagnosed with this terrible disease last week.  It came as a total shock to everyone.  He has also been a very healthy , strong, independant man.  He went to his yearly checkup last December and all his bloodwork and tests came back fine.  A couple of days later he came down with what we thought was the flu.  After battling that for a few weeks he started to turn a horrible shade of yellow.  He went to the doctor and he said he didn't know, so they sent him for an ultrasound.  That came back fine so he had a cat scan.  That showed a blockage but even them they were not sure what it was.  They put a stent in last week to try and help with the jaundice, but that didn't help.  Yesterday we thought we had a bit of good news-the doctors were going to do chemo after they initially said they would not.  The stent they put in last week was not working so they put a different one in yesterday that drains outside of his body.  They found out when they put that one in the cancer had spread too far and that no treatment would work.  They have only given him 1-2 weeks to live and have advised us to call in hospice.  My grandfather is 80 years old-he has 4 grandchildren, 7 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great grandchild.  This is a horrible horrible disease.  I am sorry to rant so much but this is the first place I can vent my feelings.

Re: my grandfather

Hi Kelly

I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather and my thoughts are with you at this time.

I do wonder how they can predict just how long, I know there are signs but I wish they would explain the process.  1-2 weeks, is just unbelievable, don't apologise for ranting, I am sure we all want to do that to someone.

Keep strong, Susan x

Re: my grandfather

My mother died when she was 80. One month before she died we all went on holiday together and although she was tired we enjoyed the whole trip. One week after  returning she was diagnosed with lung cancer which had spread to her liver. Within the month she died. She had a degree of discomfort when they thought they could 'help' - in the early stages and then only palliative care. She died quietly without pain with family around her.

A quiet pain free end, after a full and active life with many loving family members around  was the kind of death she would have wanted. In fact when they were trying to treat her by feeding her with a tube through her nose when she couldn't swallow  ( a totally horrible experience)  she said 'I know you love me but I don't want to live if this is how it will be'. 

I hope that this is some consolation to you at this very difficult time. Your grandfather seems to have had a good life, he is loved and will be missed by many people - that is a measure of him. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Re: my grandfather

thank you for your thoughts.  I don't know how anyone can predict how long anyone has.  My grandfather was up and eating in his hospital bed last night wanting to know when he could go home.  He does get to go home today and the hospital is pushing to get hospice at their house right now.  We don't think he is to that point yet, brcause he is not bedridden and he would not want someone there all the time taking care of him except my grandmother.  I am so glad this board is here to talk to other people going through the same things as my family.  Thank you for listening.