Topic: Bob's move to hospice

I havn't written in a while. Bob has been having a rough time lately. I beleive that I wrote earlier that he was running through his options quickly. Now with all the possible input from all of his doctors, the decision has been made to begin comfort care. We had some friends in from out of town and Bob did pretty good while they were here. They left early Thurs. and I had the admission meeting with the hospice nurse the same afternoon, pretty routine history, meds and such. I had decided to get the ball rolling because he was very weepy and depressed. Anyway he did okay with all that and met his regularly scheduled nurse on Friday and he seemed happy with her. Friday night was however a whole different story. He got up about 2am and fell in the bathroom. Real scary, he busted his head open in back and over his eye. I went through the whole call hospice call 911 all the while trying to staunch bleedind and put street clothes on. Thank God my son was home! Bob ended up with stiches above his eye and staples in the head. He really doesn't remember what exactly happened, but pain meds had been upped and he may have just tried to get up too quickly. New results of all of this is he is no longer to get up without assistance. hospice brought a potty chair and bed alarm. I slept thrpogh the alarm apparently, he said he got up twice lastnight! Not cool! He doesn't sleep with me because he feels uncomfortable getting out of our big bed, I guess we may have to move that bed and get a hospital bed put in soon. My son (16) is doing pretty good, but I think he is finally realizing his Dad is fading quickly. He said the hospital equipment really brought it home for him. Bob has been sick for so long that he just was thinking just more sick until now. We are going to be okay God willing I will be able to care for him at home with the care of a hospice nurse. I know he want to be here and that is what I want also! If anyone has any input on any of this I will be glad to know it. We reall have exhausted all avenues for treatment and now just want to get and keep Bob comfortable.
                                                                    Rhonda
                                                                     (Bob's Wife)

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Dear Rhonda ... I am so sorry that Bob's options have now come down to hospice.  I can relate to the falls and injuries.  I helped my next door neighbor about 1 1/2 years ago go through the final stages of at home hospice.  The biggest concern was her husband's safety due to being so out of because of pain medication.  I look back now and ask myself how she ever managed but she did with hospice help and help from a couple neighbors.  Her Husband Greg had a few cuts,bumps, and falls no matter how hard she tried to avoid it.  He also had some bouts of I guess you can say not wanting to cooperate in certain ways.  Primarily because of parynoia from the meds again. Gentle persuassion would eventually get good results and get him calmed down and resting again.  Rhonda,  If I could lend you a helping hand I surely would.  I pray that God gives you the strength you need and gives your son the knowledge to deal with his Dad's situation.  You guys remember to give each other big hugs of support and share your emotions.  My wife was sitting beside me while I read your post and it saddened us deeply just seeing what you have to face ahead.  We shared our emotions for a little bit.  Again, God bless you all !!!     
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Hi Rhonda,
Sorry to hear Bob is not doing well but I am so glad to hear you have Hospice.  Some people wait so long to get help from them and they really do give some relief and support to the caregiver  They are also very focused on comfort which is so important.  You and Bob will be in our prayers.  Joe has been battling this for 11 months now.  We are just heading home to Chicago area after three months of alternative treatment and it will be good to get back to our support system.  Be sure and take care of yourself.  you are needed badly now but you have to keepyour own strength.  Take care  God bless  Mary Anne

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Dear Rhonda,

Very sad to hear of your current situation.  Can only say that wish you all the best and keep hanging in there.  I hope that Bob is feeling comfortable, and please take good care of yourself.

Best Wishes.

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Dear Rhonda,
I understand how hard it must be for your family to go through this. Your son (despite his age) sounds very brave as  do you. I hope Bob finds some easing of the pain. I want to streess jlie168 point to take care of yourself as well because often the carer's needs are pushed aside. You cannot afford to do that when you have a son as well. Try to be strong, but understand you can have your moments too. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

6 (edited by ukmember Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:46:27)

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Having been through this myself I believe that what my husband wanted was just for me to be there with him, to make him comfortable, talk to him, massage his feet which were very swollen, be calm. We had to stop doing things (looking for treatments cures etc) and just be there showing the love  we all felt for him. What he wanted was 'loving touch' (his words) - an affirmaiton of his importance to us all.
My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.
Patricia

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Dear Rhonda-I cry as I read your post.  I will hold you both in my heart druing my meditation tonight.    Hospice is a big help to a lot of people.  Love still will help to heal the mind and spirit if not the body. 
Patrice

Re: Bob's move to hospice

Dear Rhonda -- My heart aches for you and all others who are going through these painful times.  My husband passed away in May and I was blessed that he didn't linger long -- 8 days in the hospital and he rested peacefully except for one night of horrible pain. Morphine did not touch his pain. A dear nurse knew about Dilaudid and got permission to use it. It took the pain away and he rested comfortably. Again, my heart aches for those who are going through all this. My thoughts and prayers are will everyone of you.
   Love,  Jean (Seasheller)