Topic: You Think Your Over It, But Your Not
It's been awhile since I've posted. I lost my wife, Nancy (49), on 9-28-10 after being diagnosed with stage 4 on 4-1-10.
I’m just sitting here listening to some country music. It should be illegal to listen to when you’re already depressed. I am just getting over having an infection and realized how much I miss my private nurse (Nancy was an RN). You really find out who your friends are when you need a dressing change in the area of my infection. I had to get a bunch of strangers (home health nurses) to accomplish one of life’s more humiliating and painful experiences.
I read that writing helps you get through the grieving process. I thought I was getting over losing Nancy but as I sit her trying to write through a river of tears, I stand corrected. Nancy and I had our life all planned, but even after a year and half, I have no idea where I’m headed or how to get there. I’ve always been a leader, but right now, I’m clueless. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but I don't so I turned to people who have gone through what I am going through. I sometimes talk to people as though Nancy is still here and I have a hard time with my status. I'm not single and I'm not married, but I really hate being a widower. I know I'm kinda all over the place with this post, but I just needed to vent.